Thursday, June 18, 2009

A wonderful good day and Modesty issues.

(note: snacks are not pictured, only the meals)

Breakfast: bran flakes

Snack: pringles

Lunch: junior chicken strip sandwich from Sonic

Snack: mini chocolate peanut butter cups (4)

Supper: 1.5 chicken enchiladas
Snack: mini chocolate peanut butter cups (1.5)

Tonight I declare that today was a success. I did NOT go over my calories even though I have peanut butter cups in my cabinet. I stopped when I had used my last calorie....even throwing away half of a pb cup. Silly me for even buying them (they are such a temptation) but they were on clearance for $.63 per bag! I thought I'd buy them for hubby's lunch, and I did pack him some, but I keep wanting to dip in to his lunch stuff! I bought 2 bags. One bag I threw in the freezer. (surely I won't eat them if they are frozen!) I need to get the rest of the unfrozen bag out of the house. I think I will put them ALL in hubby's lunch tomorrow. LOL but serious. I just can't keep sweets in the house.

Exercise today was mowing the yard. I mowed it on speed #4 (really fast!) and got quite a workout. I mowed for 50 mins.

I enjoyed the slower pace of today. I had my phone off almost all day. I read books to the kids. We watched Freaky Friday (the original one...old movie). It was good. It was a wonderful good day. :)

Now, on to this subject of modesty. I look forward to reading your opinion on this subject. I believe I dress modestly. (don't I, sister? I think my sister would say that I dress a bit TOO modestly...but anyway) I became a Christian in a church that taught a strict modesty standard. I believe it is important. I believe a woman should dress in a neat and attractive manner, but not in a manner that will cause "those kind of thoughts" to jump into a man's mind. *clears throat* ...........anyway.......................

At TOPS the other night this topic was brought up. Not necessarily the modesty issue, but what happens to a lady when she loses weight and has a better figure. We have one man in our TOPS group and a lot of what he said (not directly to me, but to the entire group) made me blush but also helped me to see the issue from another angle.

We were discussing the fact that we know women who were large and then after they lost the weight, they left their husbands. We were picking our brains as to why that happens. Is it because of a new found self confidence?

My hubby actually asked me that question the other day. He said "After you get skinny, you aren't going to divorce me, are you?" That was such an absurd question. He said it in fun because we actually do know a lady who was "in church" and kind of resembled me when she was heavy. She lost a lot of weight, quit church, and left her husband. She is living with some other man now.

I have a nosey neighbor who lives across the street from me. He watches us. He has since the day we moved in. My mom works at the dollar store and one day he went through her line and said "Why did your son-in-law not go to work today?" Like that is any of his business. And I thought it was creepy that he even noticed. He notices when my hubby drives my car to work instead of his. I feel like he watches our every move. But he never says anything to me or my family. He just watches us. So, today when I mowed the yard, I was searching for something cool to wear in the hot weather and ended up wearing a t-shirt that was a bit snug. But I thought "I'm just in my yard....who is even going to see?". And then I felt really funny as I was mowing because the neighbor's blinds were open and I thought "I bet he is watching me mow". And there I was, not dressed as I should have been. He came outside and worked in his yard a few minutes later. Now, I'm a long way from a skinny woman, and if he was watching me, I doubt that the t-shirt made him think anything other than "that lady is too fat for her clothes" BUT the day will come that he will watch me mow and if I am not dressed properly, he will think something else. So I made a mental note to myself today to make sure I am not "too tight, to short, to low necked, too whatever"...even when I am just in my own yard. You never know who might be watching.

The guy from TOPS pointed out that when a woman loses weight and has a better figure, that the men are going to notice and they are going to compliment. A lot of women's primary love language is words of affirmation. Maybe they don't actually fall in love with the other man, but they fall in love with the compliments, which they may not be getting from their husband.

Which brings me back to modesty. I think it is important (and I am reminding myself) that as we lose weight and become more physically attractive, that we remember to keep our bodies covered in a way that God would be pleased with. Even more important than that, is that we guard our hearts and have modesty in our spirit.

I'm just curious. What are your views on this?


  1. I totally agree! Modesty in our spirit is always important, but especially when we are faced with more compliments. I think that is always a dangerous thing and I have a friend who is facing this right now. I have also taken note recently of a friend from church is leaving in July to be a missionary in China. She is about my age (33), a lawyer by profession, never been married and just a really lovely woman. What I noticed is that she dresses very stylishly, but always modestly. That is what I want people to say about me. I am looking forward to that part of life becoming easier--meaning when it is easier to find clothes and wear clothes. It won't make me want to be sexy. I just want to look nice. This was an excellent post and a great thing to think about.

    PS--I would be careful with the that neighbor. That would really creep me out.

  2. I actually read this shortly after you posted last night, but I decided to sleep on it and think about my response.
    The thrill of being able to wear things you never could before is an awesome thing. I'm of the opinion that if you are pure in your thoughts and heart, then you can't be responsible for someone else's impure thoughts. Like a financially well off person shouldn't have to apologize or feel bad for their hard earned success, a former morbidly obese person shouldn't have to feel guilty because their new figure is now attracting looks. This is one of those issues isn't it? A small one, but still a motivating thought on this journey is to look good in our clothes, for some of us it's the first time we've ever felt confident in certain outfits. Now we have to worry about attracting impure thoughts from others, I say rubbish! As long as our thoughts are pure, we can't help what some one else is thinking. All we have to do is set up some clear bounderies, if someone violates our space, then we have to step up and set them straight.
    But you should never feel like someone else's impure thoughts are your fault. Ever.
    That mentallity is like an abuse victim taking blame for their abuser's actions.
    It's not their fault. They're not the sick ones.

    Now, on a lighter note... I do prefer modesty and class over cheap and revealing. But if someone's dream is to lose enough weight to comfortably wear a bikini, then go for it. If your thoughts and actions are pure, you're good.

    Just my opinion.

    Sean Anderson
    The Daily Diary of A Winning Loser