Friday, July 31, 2009
Looking ahead, I don't think I have a day that I can actually stay at home until next Thursday! eerrrr
Anyway................... "don't let tomorrow keep you from enjoying today".
I'm thankful for RIGHT NOW. I enjoy sitting at the computer, visiting with my cyber friends and reading stuff that interests me. I am enjoying some "me" time, which is much needed.
I also need sleep. TOmorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.....hopefully I will be in bed better tomorrow.
But right now, it is time for 30 minutes of hot cocoa and "me" time.
We went to Oklahoma City today for dd's eye exam. She has (had) a lazy eye since birth. For quite a while, we had appointments every 3 months........ 2 hour drive........not fun. She has improved over the years. Today I was told that they are going to weaken her Rx again (yay!) because her eyesight has improved so much! She doens't have to go back for A YEAR! There is no need for patching or dialation drops because her lazy eye is pretty much gone. Oh, and she is no longer a candidate for the surgery that they previously wanted her to have but I said "no" to. So, that was a great visit.
ok..........going to find my big, comfy (and ugly) gown, microwave some hot cocoa and be totally "selfish" (lol) for the next 30 minutes!
thanks for reading!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
What happened to me? I was so "on top of it" for the first couple of months of this journey. I walked laps even when it was very inconvienient and it was such a priority. I lost 24 pounds! Why have I struggled for the past month or two? What happened to me? How can I get it back? hum..........
I need a willpower booster shot!
Maybe posting everyday will help. I need to post....even when I don't have anything to say that I would be proud of.
Maybe when school starts and everything is in a routine...maybe then I will have my groove back. I need my groove back.
It's just not as much fun posting when you are down and out.
that "ho-hum" TOPS lady
My TOPS "friends" from my chapter were sitting at the table with me. I made a comment about how I wasn't getting my $5 worth. They said "you don't like honeydew? you don't like strawberries? you don't like pasta salad? ....and on and on"
Then the comment came:
"YOU WILL NEVER BE THE QUEEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE THINGS".
That was very hurtful, but I know they are wrong.
To top it all off, the little bit of food that I did eat made me sick and I was sick for about a day and a half. yuck.
I went to TOPS on Tuesday and had a 2 pound gain--- 309.5---- *sigh*. That was not very good.
So, I have been down in the dumps and having a hard time getting motivated.
Last night I made a meal plan for today:
B: oatmeal, eggs, toast
Sn: McD's ice cream
L: frozen pizza and corn
Sn: 1/2 cup orange sherbet
S: 2 microwaved burritos
Sn:1/2 cup sherbet and 2 pb crackers
total of 1900 cals
Lets hope I stick to it. My stickiness has been lacking lately.
I'm sorry I am behind on reading your blog posts....I will try to catch up soon!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I felt bad, physically, for a couple of days. Then I felt bad mentally.......I will go into details later...but it basically sums up to a rude remark that was directed to me at "fun day" and also being depressed over a 2 pound gain....and really not feeling "in the diet groove" *sigh*
So.........I just didn't post.
But I will start posting again.
Right at the moment I am super busy. My school book order needs to be called in within the next hour and 15 minutes. I don't have my order list ready. It is almost 7 and I haven't even started cooking supper...AND I promised the kids that I would watch a movie with them after supper..
so...........I don't really have time to post.............but I wanted to let you know that I am alive and I am thankful for friends who missed me!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
This has been a public service announcement. ;) LOL
Friday, July 24, 2009
Son mopped with the swiffer sweeper. I was thinking about letting "mopping" be his daily chore for this next school year but after today, maybe not. Mopping requires a tad bit of effort and pressure to do any good and frankly, son had the excitement about mopping that squidward usually has about work.
I dropped the kids off at 2 and went to the clinic.
They had built a new waiting room. You have to wait IN LINE (in order of arrival, in other words) for quite some time before the main waiting area is opened to us. I got there 3 hours before time for the doctor to be there and yet the waiting room was CRAMMED and there were NO chairs and I was squished in a corner with a nice black man and a severely obese woman who wasn't wearing nearly enough clothes.
The woman kept complaining about how sick she was. I was thinking "Lucky me, I get to be squished up next to someone who may be contagious with who knows what". But then........
......................then..............Oh dear, it was bad................then........................she started passing gas!
She was just standing there and we had been having a conversation about her job at McDonalds and about how sick she had been and then she just starts letting her rip!
Really, how do you make conversation with someone like that? What do you say? I said nothing. I pretended I was deaf and didn't hear (or smell) a thing. I worried that the other 50 people in the room would think it was me! (me=the severly obese woman who IS wearing enough clothes! too many clothes, actually, for the hot waiting room)
Anyway, the lady ended up going home before she even got to see the doctor.
I ran out of hairspray. Today my hair looked like it did in 5th grade when I got that bad perm. *sigh* I didn't have my hairspray to tame it! It's my own fault, though. I was waiting for a good sale to come along. Since I've started couponing, I almost refuse to pay full price for things. Instead, I run out of things and go around looking like a goon. LOL (I did break down and buy some later in the day)
Speaking of being cheap>>>>>>I showed up at the clinic at 2 and realized that I was going to be there for HOURS and that I didn't even bring a drink. I don't dare leave, though, else I lose my place in line. So, at 7 p.m. when it was all over, I was SO THIRSTY and hungry.
The only money I have right now is the money for the house payment, so I knew I *had* to be thrifty (as if the sheer thrill of saving money wasn't enough motivation). I went to walgreens because I had a $5 walgreens register reward which spends like cash there. I looked at the soda. $1.79 for a 20 ounce! and I was so thirsty I could down 3 of them. BUT THEN....I saw that the 2 liters were on sale for 99 cents! (nevermind the fact that they were hot and I had no cup with me to pour into). Yep. I did. I got a 2 liter and drank straight from the bottle in the parking lot (after looking around to see if I was being watched) and I also drank again at a red light (I was SO thirsty!).
So..........if you saw a large lady in a mini van today....and she had frizzy wild hair and she was drinking from a 2 liter.....then you probably saw me! Wave next time! ;)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I will probably NOT be able to post tonight (trying to turn the computer off at 10....I'm not usually successful, but I am trying) so I am posting about my day now, at 1 p.m.
In an hour, I need to drop the kids off at my grandma's house. I have to go to the clinic for a blood pressure pill refill. I do not have insurance. I go to the free clinic that is sponsored by a church. The good thing is, the doctor visit and the meds are FREE. The not so good thing is that a line forms early in the day and you have to be there super early or you won't be seen. It takes hours. Seriously. Sometimes 6 hours or so.
Now, to explain "flying". It has 2 meanings in this post:
1. Flying=getting things done so quickly that your feet barely have time to touch the floor..zzoom zoom
2. Flying= A flylady.net word that means "finally loving yourself" and it also involves getting the house cleaned up, your "to-do" list done, doing your best and not worrying about the rest.
So far today, I have:
dressed and done my hair
cleaned the bathroom
washed and dried a load of laundry
prepared breakfast (it was easy), lunch (cooked hamburgers for the kids to take to grandma's- she will be babysitting at 2), and supper (hubby will pick the kids up from grandmas after he gets off of work and I have supper cooked and on warm in the crock pot)
put away the dry dishes
picked up 27 stray things from the living room
checked email and blogs
washed dishes for 16 minutes (what? you don't time yourself when you wash dishes? *big smile*)
prayed and read a chapter
went to the grocery store
balanced the checkbook
checked and sorted the mail
And now I have a little less than an hour til time to go. Here's what I hope to accomplish in that hour:
check to see if dd has clean underclothes. She is still in pjs. I'm thinking I need to wash some out and throw them in the dryer for her. That girl changes underclothes OFTEN and it is hard to keep them washed.
brush/braid dd's hair (not a fun chore. she is so tenderheaded)
tell the kids to get dressed
throw some towels in the washer
7 minutes general "clean up" of the house
vaccuum? mop? (I kind of doubt I will have time to do that before 2, but it is on my list nevertheless)
well.........its not getting done by me sitting here.......so I guess I'll take off!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I have enjoyed my "do what you want" day. I organized my kitchen and bathroom cabinets. I did ZERO housework! (except I did make the bed....without thinking LOL) I sat in my chair and read a book. I looked through my coupons. :)
The kids are painting on posterboard (that I got at walgreens for 9 cents this week!).
After I finish reading blogs, I am going to do 5 minute cycles of dishes/laundry/ironing and start the baths and everyone getting ready for church routine. ahhhhhh.........its been great!
Thank you for all of the wonderful comments!
I will have to wake to reality around 3 p.m. and iron our church clothes and if the water is still off we will go to grandma's to shower.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
*I* am having a "make a big deal out of small deals" day. LOL
I keep beating myself up because I goofed at the checkout (still doing the coupon thing) and paid $5 for something that I could have gotten for free. It was just a mistake. I need to get over it.
I rushed around running errands, and started stressing because it was time to pick the kids up from mom and I thought they were probably ready to be home and my parents were probably ready to SEND them home (LOL) and I was stressing over it.........just to get there and they aren't home. They took the kids on a picnic and will drop them off when they are done. I stressed over nothing.
I also worried that hubby was at home waiting for his good wife to feed him supper and feeling "not important" because I wasn't there. However, I'm here now and he isn't! LOL (He is either visiting with some guys at church or at his mothers, I bet)
And so I sit here in an empty house and I LOVE IT! But it won't last. lol
I just thought I'd blog about my day while I had the chance.
I lost 1 pound this week (according to tonight's TOPS weigh in). I weighed 307.5 which is about 20 pounds LESS than I weighed in March, but about 3 pounds MORE than I weighed a few weeks ago. Anyway.........at least its going down!
Monday, July 20, 2009
In the chaos, I didn't keep up with my calories. Well, I kind of did mentally...I was aware of what I was eating....and I was cautious. I only ate half of my plate at supper (yay me!) and then went for a 15 minute walk.
Maybe I can make that my goal for this week. Maybe I will put "trying to be perfect in all areas of my life" on hold and just try to exercise for 15 minutes per day. I found that the desire to overeat is less when I exercise.
So, all in all, it was a pretty good day. Even if everyone was ragging.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
I realized that I weigh now what I weighed 7 weeks ago. SEVEN WEEKS of just la-de-dah not really trying!
***shaking self****** GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You still have a 18.75 pound weight loss to hold on to. Don't throw it away!!!! You silly thing! JUMP START yourself NOW. WALK! GET BACK WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok. I will. right NOW.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Sean-- thanks for the comment you left about the brownies for breakfast *big smile*
Bonnie- It is not wise for me to have brownies and banana nut bread both in the house!!! I made it work okay today, but I don't need to let it tempt me! I sent the last of the brownies in hubby's lunch and tomorrow the rest of the banana nut bread will go into the freezer. :-D
Goodnight ya'll ;)
P.S. to Bonnie-- does anyone there say Ya'll?
Ok....I don't have pics...(crazy busy day)...but here's what I ate:
Breakfast...ham sandwich and one brownie...470 cals yum
Lunch...sonic chicken strip sandwich..373 cals
Snack....2 pc ham, 1.5 oz cheese, 1 cup cheerios.... 300 cals
Supper (which I am about to eat, while in bed.....ah...... the life) homemade veggie soup, crackers, and banana nut bread (double yum)...670 cals
-------under goal! whoo hoo!
I know I really need to get back into the eating every 2 hour deal. Maybe I can try to work on that next week when I will *hopefully* be at home more.
Thanks for reading!!!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Here's the plan:
slept in, since I stayed up late (again)
shower, make sure son showers, wash dd's hair, then braid it
run to the store and buy some bread
do an hour or so of housework (I can accomplish a LOT of housework if if if if if I get with it. I usually don't get with it LOL)
gather library books, write titles on kids' reading list for the library, put books in van
make supper prep
drop the kids off at mom's by 4
drop off books at library, QUICKLY pick out some more, and look through the free coupon box
spend 15 mins looking at new frames (I will be getting new glasses soon..and I'm picky)
be at TOPS by 5
TOPS 5 p.m.-6
meet my sister-in-law at the gym for a 45 min workout (that's one way to not back out. She's supposed to meet me there, in the parking lot)
go from gym to prayer meeting, which starts at 7. I will be sweaty and ugly but at least I will be there.
pick kids up
go home and eat supper
check emails, wash hubby's uniform, shower, go to bed
what a full day! see you later!
Monday, July 13, 2009
(I don't know why that snickers pic turned out so huge (lol!) but oh well)
Sunday, July 12, 2009
So, I guess that is the answer. I need 10 hours of sleep/sleeping with the bipap in order to feel well and be productive.
But it is very hard to get 10 hours EVERY night. Especially for a night owl like me who likes to stay up until 2 a.m. while the house is quiet.
It is midnight now. I am working on some church stuff.
I will go to bed before too long.
I will not get 10 hours tonight but that's okay. I knew I wouldn't. I will take a nap after lunch. I always do on Sundays. Sundays for me is: church, lunch, nap, church, eat, bed. :)
Okie dokie.....there you have it. The results are in and now you know.
I have a confession to make. I ate a whole bag of chocolate chex mix today. It was the first time we have ever bought it. *sigh* I should not buy it again.
*Singing* Come next Monday.......
I'm really going to have to buckle down and get back to taking all of those silly food pictures! I just flop without reporting my every bite to you all. I'm expecting a small gain on Tuesday. I'll go ahead and tell you that.
But Monday..........Monday.........Monday.........those pics will be back and IF I dare to go even one measly calorie over my limit (which is 1,950....three 500 cal meals and three 150 cal snacks).......IF I go over my limit, you'd better give me a good stern talking to. You will if you are my friend. I need it.
ta ta for now,
that wide awake TOPS lady
UPDATE: I have spent the past hour or so mindlessly wander around on the web looking up things like "homeschool storage pictures", which is silly, because I've already pretty much made up my mind about that. I guess I'm just nosey and like seeing pictures of other people's houses. (especially if they are more messy than mine)
and so.........it is now 2:22 a.m.........and I am going to bed. zzz
Friday, July 10, 2009
Yesterday I finished my "to-do" list and I sure hope I get that done today as well. I try to do the flylady thing. Have you ever heard of her? She gives tips on how to keep your house in order without stressing in the process. I need to be more faithful with my flylady stuff.
Anyway, here's today's "to-do" list, copied and pasted, with brief explanations:
* Morning Routine:
-Get Dressed to Shoes including Hair/Face,
Swish & Swipe-(this means clean toilet, sink and pick up clothes from floor in bathroom)
-Reboot Laundry (a Load a Day Keeps CHAOS Away)
-Check Your Calendar
27 living room pickup (27 stray or untidy items)
What's for dinner? (start making preparations)
8 min breakfast dishes
8 minute lunch dishes
15 min supper dishes
clean out van
clean out purse
5 minute room rescue(spend 5 minutes cleaning your worst room)
Drink your water.
hot spot fire drill (2 minutes clearing off a flat surface...such as the table or countertop)
Switch out laundry
15 min flylady mission- top of fridge
put laundry away
deal with mail/bills
* Before Bed Routine:
-Lay out Your Clothes for tomorrow
-Check Your Calendar
-Put things needed for tomorrow at the front door
-Where are your Keys?
-Spend Two Minutes Clearing off a Hot Spot(any place that collects junk)
-Shine Your Sink
- Wash face/Brush Teeth
-Go to Bed at a Decent Hour
What does YOUR "to-do" list look like?
Let's get busy!
Thursday, July 9, 2009
I am planning to read and then settle into bed for another 10 hours.
I'm hoping for another good day tomorrow.
Thanks for reading and thank you so much for the comments you all have been leaving. I read each and every one.
"Maybe you are still just a little sick." Maybe so. That would accentuate the sleepy problem. However, even when I haven't been sick, I am always sleepy. I can wake up after hours and hours of sleep and still want to go back to bed.
"Have you been tested?" No. Vision insurance is the only insurance I have and I don't think they can determine that by looking at my eyes----even if they ARE bloodshot. LOL!
Hubby (who has medical insurance) was tested and it would have been a couple of THOUSAND dollars without insurance. His BiPap (like a cpap) machine cost so much that even WITH insurance, we are making monthly payments on our part.
I did go with him when they explained his diagnosis. Obesity plays a huge role in sleep apnea. The lady (I don't remember her title...but she teaches about sleep apnea all day every day) said that most obese people have some sleep apnea and that getting to a healthy weigh cures a lot of people's sleep apnea. (I am not saying obesity is the only cause of apnea......she just stressed it to us)
Anyway..................I'm not going to have it for long! I am going to treat my body right and go to bed instead of staying up all hours of the night, so that I can get more than the normal 8 hours and still not be snoozing at noon.
I need to feed my body healthy, fresh foods......cut back on the processed stuff and focus on foods that will give me energy and healing and nutrition. This will not be easy. I am a processed food junkie! Maybe I could start by having a certain amount of fruits and veggies daily.
I will get my exercise in. They say (and I know that it is true) that you get more energy if you exercise. And you sleep better, too.
I will try to reduce the stress in my life, prioritize, work on being a better time manager and manager of my home. I will take the time to slow down and enjoy my day and my family.
At church last night.......it was a weird topic to preach about............but it was about the connection between our spirit (or our attitude or our mind), our soul, and our body. He was talking about how it is almost impossible for our bodies to get well if we have stuff going on emotionally or mentally. (have you ever worried yourself SICK? I have) It goes the other way around. It is hard to think positive thoughts when your body is sick. They work together. Getting body, mind, and soul to work together and be healthy is a goal I plan to work on starting right now.
I'm looking forward to feeling better. I am headed in the right direction. You are too! yay! Let's go!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
I had 2 tacos with not nearly as much cheese on them as I could have eaten. I also had a sugar free pudding, a hot cocoa and a fiber one bar.
I went over by approx 200 cals. However, its better than I have done the past week or two.
I. am. tired.
I usually don't try to claim things because I believe in the theory of "you have what you THINK you have" .............but....................... this tiredness is just beyond normal so I am going to go ahead and claim it. I'm pretty sure I have sleep apnea.
I am just totally exhausted. And I didn't even do anything strenuous today.
I could just sleep and sleep and sleep.
I am about to go to bed. I am going to set my alarm to wake me up in 10 hours. TEN hours is a lot, I know........but I am so tired. I've got to get some rest.
That's one thing I am looking forward to with this weight loss-----seeing the apnea improve.
Now, for a full and productive day ahead!
Thanks for reading!
P.S. Last night at TOPS (I was "absent" but just went to get some papers filled out, remember?) *TWELVE* people signed up to attend the next area fun day!!!! My group is getting fired up and that is so exciting!!!!
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
My stomach was upset all day yesterday but I just thought I was eating too many fatty foods. I'd had ice cream and McDonalds.
Last night as I went to bed I thought "I almost feel like throwing up", which is a major for me---I just don't throw up. In the past 13 years, I've thrown up only maybe 4 times. I hate it.
But I didn't throw up. I decided that maybe I was just imagining sickness because I was really tired. I went to sleep.
Son woke me up this morning and said "mom, its almost noon". Noon? How did that happen? I was in the middle of a dream about being at a TOPS event at a fancy hotel and I couldn't find my room and it was hot and they were turning the air up.
When I woke up, I was hot. Probably because I was in my flannel gown, which is so comfy (and yet, ugly). I wear it when I am sick because it is a comfort thing. I'm wearing it now.
I'd like to send the kids to moms and just go to bed.
I feel.........................................dizzy. and weird. (weirder than normal LOL)
BUT I have so many responsibilities! *sigh* People are not lining up to take on my responsiblilities.
So here is the plan>>>>
Put on wrinkled clothes and not even care.
Drop the kids off at moms.
Go to the church to: (#1) vacuum up the popcorn that has been in my sunday school floor since Sunday and (#2) wrap a box and quickly set up the "christmas in July" display that I promised would be done by Wednesday. The box will be for donations of supplies for Tupelo Children's Mansion, an orphanage.
Go to TOPS but annonce that I am only there to get the paperwork completed for the funday forms that I have to get in the mail by tomorrow. (otherwise I wouldn't even go). Then I will leave and let someone else run the meeting. I'm not even going to weigh in. Even though I am going to be there for 15 mins or so, I want to be considered "absent" because (#1) I don't want to weigh and (#2) I don't want to stay.
Run in homeland (because the sales change tomorrow) and use the coupons I have for FREE bbq sauce, free pickles, 50 cent deodorant, and 37 cent tea bags.
Go home and either go to bed or read blogs, depending on how I feel.
Let dad deliver the kids back to me whenever.
Do no housewifey things today except wash hubby's uniform and cook supper (tacos- easy).
Anyone who wants to do all of the above for me is more than welcome to! ;) then I'd just go to bed.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Friday, July 3, 2009
Just checking in..........here I go.........................................
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
What an exhausting day! I won't bore you with the details but I obviously lacked wisdom and time management skills today and it left me sooooooooooo pooped. Nevertheless, here's what I ate today:
2 pkgs pb crackers
3 fiber one bars
2 manwich sandwiches
8 oz. apple juice
12 oz gatorade
1/4 of a cookie (free sample in grocery store)
5 (five?!yikes) pieces of pizza hut mia cheese pizza
Exercise was running myself ragged with more to do today than could humanly be accomplished, lung exercises were yelling at my kids because we were all being grouches today (not something I am proud of), and yoga was the 5 minutes that I crashed right in the middle of the living room floor between the grocery store time and church time because I had just about reached my limit.
I have wisdom. For some stupid reason, I ignored it today. But I learned a lesson and I highly doubt that I will have a repeat day like today for a long time.
Right now (11:49 p.m.) I am making hubby's lunch and washing his clothes to pack for him.( NO! we aren't seperating, silly!) He is going to the Dallas area for a long past due visit with his dad.
Thanks for reading! Here's a video I think you'll love. If you are wore out, you HAVE to watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXYGOoc0RxQ