Sunday, May 16, 2010

fight. fight. fight. overcome.

Trying to break free..............

The family has gone to church. I stayed home with ol' broken tooth..or at least maybe that is why. I think that's an excuse too. Really, I just wanted some alone time.

And now I am here with "The lost get found" by Britt Nicole blaring. I am trying to break through. I feel like a bouncy ball. Yesterday I hit the floor. Today I am on my journey back up. Although it is low, it is higher than yesterday.

Figuratively, I have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. One is telling me to exercise and plan healthy meals for the coming week. The other is telling me to cook a grilled cheese and toast and jelly and eat and goof off on the internet. I KNOW which one will make me feel better.

"So when you get the chance........are you gonna take it?"

I wish I weren't so alone. I'm not, but I am. I don't have a *close* friend. I've had one close friend in all of my adult life, and since we moved in '07, she now lives 800 miles away. I still consider her to be my best friend, but it is hard when we are so far apart. We are both busy. We don't talk often.

Please........please comment me. You just don't know how much it helps to know I am read.

I've been searching the blog world for a kindred spirit. There's a lot of great people out there, but I haven't yet found one to be MY weight loss buddy. Maybe I don't need one. Maybe I need to be my own friend and quit treating myself badly (really, friends don't do that). Plus, I have a friend that "sticketh closer than a brother"......maybe I need to stick a little closer to Him.

Hello, my friend. Let's get up and exercise, get these meals planned, set ourselves up for a successful week.

Something else----I'm sitting here in an ugly granny dress. That does not promote a positive mental attitude. I need to dress up this week. I need to do my hair, feel pretty. Go, Amy, Go, go go go go go gogogogogogogoo go! You can do it.


  1. It is totally a mental game!!!! Good luck :)

  2. I definitely read each and every post! I also really need to get back to doing what i know works for me. Pre-planning, walking, drinking my water. This is going to be a good week for both of us.

  3. Amy,
    I do read your posts, I just don't comment often. You can and will do this, you just have to get your mind set on it (and it'll really help if you just completely knock that little devil off your shoulder and send him back where he came from!) You cannot listen to those negative thoughts, keep your mind and your concentration on what you know you should be doing and don't beat yourself up if you happen to slip and make a mistake. Just pick right back up and go on....forgive yourself. Remember your best friend, your creator, wants only the best for you and for you to be the best that you can be and He will help you if you let Him.

  4. I know what you mean about a friend. I've only had 2 close friends in the last 10 years (lots of less close ones though) but of those two, one (who's been friends with me for 21 years) got married (set-up by my sister and myself) and her husband doesn't seem to like me, and we haven't talked in months. The other one is currently living with us, and hasn't grown as a person at all in the last 3 years, and now seems like she's a totally different person than I was friends with.

    There are days sometimes that I feel so alone, without people to confide in who will listen when I need it, but I've lately been able to have my closest sister listen to me, and just be my friend.

    I hope you feel better. There's nothing tougher than lonliness. :)

  5. I read - but very rarely comment.

    You are not alone, but I know how it can feel that way sometimes. It's our minds playing TRICKS on us!

    Get out of that Granny dress, girl! Dressing up and looking good works wonders.

    You can do this, honey! Don't give up!

  6. I read too. I don't always have something to say but I do read for sure. Hang in there Amy! It is hard work and especially hard as a mom but remember why you are doing this and tap into that feeling. It is a slow and bumpy ride but the dividends are WAY worth it.

  7. "Hello, my friend. Let's get up and exercise, get these meals planned, set ourselves up for a successful week."

    That is such a healthy sentence.

    When I first started, I felt so alone, too. Plus, forget support-- I had actual resistance at home. I had no one to talk to about it, either. I had to do just like you did, and give myself a talking to.. become my own best friend, and decide to do it for myself.

    Slowly, I've met wonderful people in bloggyland. And as my husband saw me making progress (after years and years of failed attempts) he has finally lessened his resistance.

    Yes, you can do this. And there will be better days ahead... hang in there. :-)


  8. Don't forget about your TOPS friends too. I think it's great you reached out. I know for me that is tough to do. You can do this Amy. I know how hard it is to pull ourselves up when we fall into the "lonelies" I find myself there way to often. You can always email me if you want Hang in there. Hope your tooth gets to feeling better too.

  9. Hi Amy,
    I'm sorry you don't have any friends nearby, but perhaps you're like me and when you're not feeling good about yourself you close yourself off from others. Perhaps there are lovely women (from church, tops, neighbors, other mom's, hubby's friend's wives) who would love to be your friend. I too self sabotage and shut my door sit inside and don't open myself up to opportunities that may await me. Let's imagine you're already beautiful, oh wait you are, I saw your picture, God loves you, oh, He already thinks your perfect, you have a loving family - yes that's true and you have the strength within you to do whatever you choose to do - check. Amy, you are stronger than you know, just go for it. Open the door and walk outside, see all the gifts He's given you, just for you and feel the love that's out there waiting for you. Oh and by the way, you're right get out of the granny dress and put on something to make you feel beautiful. You're worth it. Sending you hugs and prayers that you may find a friend, but for now, you can be your own best friend. Love yourself, treat yourself as well as you treat others, you deserve it. God bless.

  10. I have been trying to be your friend for sometime now. Maybe I am not what you need or are looking for in a friend. I will continue to try Amy. It would be easier if your phone would stay charged :)