come on, come on, come on...let's do it!

I'm fired up about the lesson I'm teaching at TOPS tonight.

For the rest of the year, we will have a football theme. We are in the 4th quarter of the year and we are talking about how many teams have come from behind in the 4th quarter and ended the game as winners. We can too!!!!

Come on, come on, come on.....GO,FIGHT,WIN!

Under 300 again

Just before I joined TOPS, I weighed 331. I was 327.25 the week I joined TOPS (almost 3 years ago). I lost to just under 300 in December of last year but consistency has been my major issue. I quit trying. I bounced back up to 312 or so.

Anyway..........this morning I am back under 300 (299.8) and I hope to never, never, never, never see 300 again.

Pictures along the way

Ya know, we should take more pictures. My kids make fun of me because I'm always taking pictures of myself. When I'm at my goal weight, I want to have plenty of 'before' and 'in progress' pictures that I can put on a video telling my story (and yes, I listen to songs trying to find the right song to go with it already :)

And so tonight, I wanted to take a pic of myself and the batteries in the camera were dead. I took batteries from the remote. They were too weak. I then took batteries from the wii balance board. I had room left on my sd card for ONE picture. So, I would take it, look at it, decide I didn't like it, delete it and start over.

I wasn't finished. But this is the picture I had just taken when those batteries died, so I guess this is will be tonight's picture :D I can just imagine me, a year from now, looking at this picture and saying "wow...look at how UNdefined my jaw bone was"...

It just gets better from here guys. :) I've got my groove back. I hope you do too :) Thanks for reading!

Weigh in & the "Christy" series

Someone once told me that I remind them of the character of Christy on the Christy series. I borrowed the whole complete series (over 10 hours, I think) and watched the first episode last night. I think they are right. I'm a lot like her, on the inside. If my outside matched how I feel on the inside, I'd look a lot like her.

I've done a lot more exercising this week than I normally do. I admit that I was a bit frustrated to see this morning that I was up 4 tenths of a pound compared to yesterday morning, considering that I walked 4 miles yesterday, consumed over 100 oz of water and was several hundred calories below my limit. (I weigh daily) My nutritionist would tell me that it was a combo of: having too much salt (I had hamburger helper---which my nutritionist does NOT approve of!) and not eating enough calories (as weird as it sounds, she has a range for me to eat in and she says that if I eat below that range, my body will hold on to the weight...and it makes very little sense to me...but it has proven to be true with me.) So yeah, I'm not going to tell these things to my nutritionist (who happens to be a friend and took me on for FREE...isn't that awesome???!!!)

But I AM going to tell her that my official weight loss for the week is >>>>>> 3.3 pounds. yes! I'll take it. I was 300.7 today. I'm ready to be back under 300 again.

The next TOPS fun day is November 12th and I would love to be 289 or less then. :) Consistency is the key for me! The nutritionist thing will help with that because she requires me to text her my totals each night. Be watching my blog..... I'm doing it this time :)


Thanks for reading. Have a healthy day!

October's goals

My goals for October:

Lose 10 pounds. (I was 301.4 on the wii this morning)

Quit stressing over every little decision and just enjoy each day as it comes. ENJOY MY LIFE.

These are the feet....

These are the feet that are doing a LOT of walking this week, even when I don't feel like it.

This past weekend was our area fun day for TOPS. It was fun and inspiring as always. My husband and kids were there with me and they got to meet several of the people from my old chapter. If you remember the reason I left my old chapter, you can assume that the meeting of old friends would be nerve wrecking, and it was, but it all ended up ok. (And if you don't remember, there's no need to search my blog for the story, because I deleted it all. Just know that it was a sticky situation.)Everyone was nice and the 2 other chapters in my town asked if we would all like to get together for a Thanksgiving potluck or something of that nature, and I am considering hosting it. I don't know. We will see.

Awards were given for the April-June quarter and my husband won first place for hours exercised and miles walked. Yay hubby!

Friday is the end of our next reporting period, so our next fun day (Nov. 12th) we will receive awards from July-Sept. You have to walk at least 50 miles to receive a walking award and of course I wait until the last week to even halfway try. I plan to walk the 28 or so miles I have left between now and midnight Friday. I can also receive a weight loss award if I can lose 3 more pounds by Friday. (It is possible IF I work very hard and stay focused!)

Have you heard "Today is your day" by Shania Twain? My hubby told me to listen to it every morning. :) (For those of you who think we listen to country music all the time....NO....... He heard it at the gym and thought of me and came home and looked it up. My heart was touched that he thought of me when he heard it *I love that man*)I think you should listen to it every morning too. It has been running through my head all day and it has been a great pick-me-up when I feel tired and down.

So....that's what's up in my world. How are YOU doing?

When the scale has let you down......keep doing the right thing.

So I have been pretty much perfect for the past 6 days or so. Not over on my calories AT ALL--picked exercise back up--eating my veggies and drinking my water.

And tonight was weigh-in and I stayed EXACTLY THE SAME.

Pooey on the scale for being that way!

Regardless, I will continue to do what I know is right and it WILL WILL will WILL go down as long as I'm staying faithful. Maybe my body has gotten used to me and is saying "There's no need in rewarding her for what she has done the past week because I know she's about to blow it again and deserve this fat." Nope. Gonna prove it wrong.


I'm going to be FAITHFUL.

The rest of the Jehovah Witness story.

A whopping two people commented and let me know what THEY do...but anyway...

Yeah, so they rang my doorbell last week and I was kind of excited because somehow my house always gets skipped. LOL I've heard that they try to back you in a corner and make you doubt what you believe, etc.

However, I sat on the porch with them with MY King James Version Bible (they have their own Bible version) and had a nice, friendly discussion. I was not mean to them in anyway.

The thing that got me so excited about it all was that #1 I feel that I was a good witness because I stayed nice, nonjudgemental and friendly the entire time, #2 I had a scriptural answer every time they tried to get me in a corner and #3 I actually got one of them somewhat in a corner but I was nice and let it go. :)

(I asked them to read Acts 2:38 from their Bible, because I wanted to see how it compared to the KJV, which says to be baptized in Jesus name. I thought theirs would say to be baptized in Jehovah's name because they believe that Jehovah is the name of God and not a title. Anyway, I had them read it and to my surprise, it too said to be baptized in Jesus' name. Then I simply said "So,.......does your church baptize in Jesus' name???" and he just looked at me like "uuuhhhhh...." and simply said "no". I just smiled and let it go but I could have done to them what they do to so many and make them squirm...but I'm not like that :)

Anyway.....I was out there for 45 minutes and they may come back some time, I don't know. But I don't really care to waste 45 more minutes of my time because I for sure believe that their teachings are unbiblical.

That is neither here nor there..........

Now, let's get back to weight loss blogging :)

What do YOU do when the Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons knock on your door?

This is totally off topic, but I'm just curious. What do YOU do when the Jehovah Witnesses or Mormons knock on your door? Do you tell the kids to shush and pretend you aren't home? Do you answer the door and tell them you aren't interested? Do you sit on the porch with your Bible and look up scriptures?

The Jehovah Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday. I will tell you what *I* did in a different post, but first I want to know what YOU do.

(I am not Jehovah Witness by the way.)

I'm rockin' it.

The past 2 days have been awesome. I've stayed within calorie limits, exercised, had my fruits & veggies, drank my water. Yeah, it feels good to do good. I am now sending a text to a friend of mine (former fat lady who has been at her teeny tiny goal weight for well over a year now) every night with an honest report of how I did that day. That helps.

Tonight hubby watched the kids so I could take my time coupon shopping. The total was $101 before coupons and $40something afterwards! Oh yeah baby.

I also took my walking shoes with me and before I left the house I said "Babe, I am going to be gone a LONG WHILE. I'm going to grocery shop but before I do that, I'm going to go walk at the trail." And I WAS gone a long while-- like 4 hours total :)

Yeah, today rocked.

~*struggle*~

Today I have the "day before payday and I'm so broke I can't even pay attention and we have to eat whatever we can find in the house which resulted in pancakes for breakfast (not good!)" blues. yeah.

4 hours left and today will have been a success!

I have found that I usually blog when I am down :(

However, today I am up...so... let's blog. :)

I have journaled all of my food, water and exercise today. We will be eating supper in about 20 minutes and I have written down exactly what I will eat. I also have room for a pb&j sandwich this evening (I reserved the calories for that earlier in the day so I will feel "rewarded" this evening for not going over!). yeah.

I'm on my 4th bottle of water.

I went to bed at 9:40 last night (that's super early for me because I am a night owl) and set my alarm for 20 minutes early this morning (planning to do that every day this week) and I went for a walk FIRST THING this morning. It has made a difference in my energy level. Yay.

Here's to a good day. \_/ cheers! ;) (water bottles clink together)

p.s. I really need to start adding pictures to my posts. It takes more time but I always enjoy reading blogs that have a lot of pictures.

Thanks for reading!

P.S.

P.S. Some of you may have remembered that I am in the midst of a 118 day "fast" from soda, dessert and fast food. That is still going well. However, it hasn't really done anything for the scale--I guess I've made up for it by eating too much other stuff. :/

Also, I read a new person's blog and I saw where they took a pic of each meal and posted it. If I have any readers who read at the very beginning, they will remember that I once did that. I may go back to that. It did at least make me accountable. We will see.

As I have been googling and blog hopping, I have found MANY awesome weight loss blogs in which someone has over a hundred pounds to lose, they blog and sound all positive, and then they just disappear. That makes me think they failed and are ashamed to admit it.

I WANT TO BEAT THE ODDS.

I want to be that blogger lady who FINALLY got it right. I want to be Oklahoma TOPS queen and ride in our local parade on the back of a convertible. yeah. I WANT IT.

Your opinion, please. (Flood me with comments please!)

Why do people (in general), STRUGGLE with overcoming obesity so much?

Seriously, I want your opinion.

Let's take a random person who is approximately 125 pounds overweight.

They KNOW how many calories it takes to lose the weight. They KNOW they should eat protein and veggies and drink their water and exercise and journal and never go over their calories and that the pounds will melt away as they do these things.

They know they have to keep a positive mental focus in order to stay on track.

They preach a good message.

Yet, they have trouble practicing what they preach. They feel tired all the time (no matter how much rest OR exercise they get). And when they are tired, they feel like "I don't care--I need carbs" and they eat peanut butter and syrup and go no telling how much over their calorie limit.

Someone says "It isn't important enough to them." and yet, the person DOES feel like it is important to them or otherwise they wouldn't still be putting forth all the work they do for the TOPS group.

How do you build up your willpower? How do you gain energy and determination? How do you make it a priority? How?

I'm just pouring my brain out here because tonight is weigh in, I'm the leader and I feel like I probably haven't lost an ounce this week. (hypocrite!)

I'm planning to give everyone a short article I read online about energy boosters, and then instead of having a full meeting, I'm going to tell each member that we are letting out early BUT.............that before they go home they have to go for a walk, even if it is just 10 minutes at the mall (because I can already hear the "it's too hot" excuse--it is about 110* here).

So.............yeah. Comment me! :P

Affirmations

I am feeling a little bit stronger each day.

I am getting healthier each day.

I eat within approved calorie limits and I feel content within those limits.

Each day, I am able to exercise with more vigor than the day before.

I am making healthy choices.

I enjoy exercise and the energy and "feel good" chemicals it releases into my system.

With each day, I gain more energy.

I am adding days to my life.

I am beautiful and my beauty is becoming more evident each day.

I am succeeding in my goal to weigh 289 or less at the next TOPS fun day, September 24th.

Through the power of God working in me, I am changing my life for the better.

My marriage is blessed in all areas.

My children are blessed in all areas.

I am full of peace and joy.

(I printed these and am putting them in a frame beside my bed.)

What you think, you are!

This may be a long post. You may, of course, read it. But don't feel that you are doing me a disservice by not reading it. I just feel the need to journal and get things on paper as a form of therapy. So, this post is to me.

It frustrates me that lately I haven't been able to go even one day without losing control and pigging out. I start many days on the right foot and before the day is over, I binge. I feel so chained, so diseased. I know that others think "You just have to DO it. You are just being lazy. You don't want to be healthy bad enough."

If only they knew.

I was watching an Oprah dvd the other night about a lady whose brain told her that she was fat and so she wouldn't eat and as an adult she weighed about 60 pounds, was just a skeleton and still felt fat. She cried and said "I don't want to be this way! My brain just tells me that I must NOT eat!"

She died.

I thought of myself. I am the opposite end of the spectrum, but the level of unhealthiness is similar. I don't want to be this way. My brain tells me I MUST eat. I don't want to die.

Last night I was watching my little girl brush her teeth while she was getting ready for bed and I thought "I don't want to miss her life. I don't want to die and for her to feel like I could have prevented my death but chose not to." Of course, I didn't SAY any thing like that, but that is what was going through my head.

I *feel* so much weaker now, as far as diet and exercise goes, than I did even a year ago. I've done 2 half mile walks this week. HALF MILE. A year and a half ago I could do a 5K, even though my weight wasn't any lower than it is now.

My willpower isn't strong enough. I know the way to strengthen it is by what we think on. I am going to work on my THINKING. I need to think thin. I need to think "I am doing this!" I need to think "I am getting a little stronger every day!"

Below are notes from a website I am reading:

Our behavior is the byproduct of our thinking.

You are not what you think you are, but what you think, you are!

Your subconscious mind will faithfully draw into your experience whatever you consistently think about.

Your Body Believes Every Word You say.


And so.........................I'm turning positive. I am going to think about how I AM transforming into a healthy person, every day. :) I will post my list of positive affirmations soon.

Half a mile is better than sitting on the couch eating cheeze doodles.

On this week's "I CAN do this" paper at TOPS, I wrote "I can go for a while 2 days this week." So.....even though it was still 102 degrees at 7:30 p.m. yesterday, I went to the track with the kids and walked half of a mile. It's not amazing. But it is better than sitting on the couch eating cheeze doodles.

Update after TOPS

I was able to remove 2 sticky pounds from my mirror after TOPS. I was 306. STILL above 300. How on earth did I allow myself to bounce back up there? ugh! Oh well...it's going back down now.

My "I CAN" paper for this week says "I will go for a walk 2 days this week".

I have my food plan for today written out. I just ate a lean pocket and doritos. I still want to eat more. BUT I won't.

ta ta for now and thanks for reading :)

Have you ever said "I will be PERFECT?" and then didn't do ANYTHING right?

I stole this idea from a fellow blogger, but the sticky notes are each pound I have to lose before goal. They are on my bathroom mirror and I will remove them as I lose them :) We have area fun day near the end of September and I would LOVE to be 289 or less by then. That's my short term goal. I know that some of the stickers are really in the middle, in the way... those are the stickers of weight I have gained since I have moved to Oklahoma. After those are gone, I will be back down to 280ish, which is where I was most of my 20's, when we lived in Alabama.

We started something new at TOPS last week. We have a can with a lid and it is the "I CAN" can. :) We each get a piece of paper and write on it what we CAN do the coming week that will help us to develop healthy habits. Then we put it in the can and the lid we close it with says "I WILL". The next week, we take them out and read them. If we DID the thing, we get cheered and our paper goes on a posterboard that says "I DID". If we didn't do it, well, we feel like a toad and we tear up our paper and say "THIS WEEK I will do better!".

WEll........................I should have written something simple. Especially since I have been basically OFF plan (except for a few spurts here and there) for a long while. But no... I pretty much say I can be perfect in all areas LOL. I said I would journal every day, never go over my calories, exercise x amount of time, yada yada yada. And like the 2nd day, I failed and said "Well, I flopped. I give up.".

And SOooooooooooooooooooo THIS WEEK (tonight) I plan to pick ONE thing to work on instead of saying I will be perfect. goodness.

the wagon

I am getting back on the wagon AGAIN. Somebody put a seat belt on me, please!!! LOL I just planned out my food for tomorrow so that I will remain within calorie range. We are going to OKC tomorrow and I'm going to bring my own lunch (tuna). The rest of the family will have Chuck-e-cheese pizza. I'm ready for this weather to cool a bit so I can do more walking. I also need to ask my mom to start watching the kids once a week again so I can have some MEEEEE time and I can exercise during that time. Regardless of the obstacles, I am going to do this!!!!!!