heart attack/ overworked/ be still

*No, I did not have a heart attack. I just kind of worried that I would. I want to tell you that right off the bat, lest my title be misleading*

After being so uncomfortably transparent in my last post, it is hard to know how to start this one. I will just say-------thank you, for your friendship. Please know that I say that with all sincerely.

I try to buy groceries for the week on Thursdays, as well as run the bulk of my errands, in an effort to keep the school hours free the rest of the week (for homeschooling). We have something going on almost every evening:

Monday evening: TOPS meeting (and I drop kids off early to mom so I can exercise before TOPS. So, I'm gone from around 4-8 p.m.)

Tuesday evening: Drive the kids to youth prayer, kill time til it is over, drive them home (We live 25 minutes from church. It is going to be SO HANDY when my oldest son gets his driver's license in a few months!)

Wednesday evening: church (Every other Wednesday, my kids are on the puppet team for children's church, which means we are gone from around 5-9. The other Wednesdays it is 6-9)

Thursday evening: Currently we just recover from our crazy day, which I will tell about in a moment. However, son begins a Police Academy Class in March that lasts two months and he and his dad will be gone from 5:30-9:30. I'm thinking of sending daughter and baby to mom's while they are gone and exercising or cleaning house or hearing myself think or something).

Friday evening: sometimes nothing (yay!) but sometimes my kids are involved in youth activities at church and need rides

Saturday evening: nothing (woot!)

Sunday: so full of church and various practices, the day flies by.

So......yeah. Life gets busy.

On Thursdays:
We leave the house at 9:30 to take my mom to clean her sister's house (she does this once per week for 3 hours).
We go to the library to check out books and daughter (13) is a teen volunteer for storytime.
We have about 45 free minutes to run errands.
We pick mom up at 1 p.m.
We take mom to run her errands and we buy our groceries.
It is usually 5 or 6 p.m. before we get home.
Thursdays are busy.

Today was Thursday.
After I picked mom up from her sister's, I was just feeling very drained and "not right". I needed a good meal and I needed rest. I wasn't ready to face Walmart with baby in tow, and 7 million people there, and a ton of groceries to buy. SO.......I didn't go. I ran into a little store and bought a frozen pizza. I drove mom home. I cooked pizza and sat on the couch a while but I just couldn't shake this overwhelmed/exhausted/NEED TO REST feeling. It scared me, really. I kept thinking, "Am I about to have a heart attack?" I mean, my chest didn't hurt or anything---I just felt drained and like something was not right.

I rewrote my Walmart list as simple as I could and after about 3 hours of trying to re-cooperate, the kids and I headed to Walmart. Hubby (who is self-employed) had a job today, so he wasn't available to help. When I got home he was already asleep, after having what was probably a long day himself, working in the cold.

I put away groceries (that I am SOOOoo thankful to have!), put the baby to bed, put the teens to bed (getting them to finish up and go to their rooms so I can be alone and listen to the quiet is sometimes harder than putting the baby to bed. ha!) And finally, at 11:30 p.m., I can sit here in peace and quiet.

Do you ever have a gut feeling? I had a major gut feeling today and my gut said this >>>TOMORROW, BE STILL.

Saturday I have a birthday party to attend, a Valentines' Basket to create, funeral food to prepare and deliver (death in the church), and I have to take mom to clean the church to get her community service time in.

But that's Saturday. Tomorrow, Friday, I will BE STILL (and do school and maybe clean out the fridge)

Pajama day, here I come.

Thanks for reading and for your support.

OH WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BIG NEWS>>>>>>>>>>>>I now weigh the lowest I have since giving birth. I'm hoping the yo-yo string has been cut and burned. 25 more pounds to prepregnancy weight. I am encouraged.