Thursday, June 27, 2013

mental image=actual image

The picture of me in the black and yellow is from last September. I was 250 pounds--my lowest on this journey--81 pounds lost. I felt like wonderwoman. I thought I looked wonderful. I was not intimidated. I felt beautiful. I was beautiful. I got compliments left and right. One day in the dollar store, a stranger told me I was looking hot (and mind you, I dress very modestly, so that was really something). get my point--was successful, felt successful, it showed.

The other picture is last Saturday at the 5K. Now mind you, it was just a BAD pic! I keep trying to tell myself that my stomach does NOT look that obviously bad at all times and that it was a combo of wind and movement and just a bad angle. I don't know. But this pic, I was 257. Only 7 pounds heavier than my "I am a beautiful bee" picture. Notice the HUGE difference though? I do. Now, I know that 7 pounds did not make me physically that much different. But it did change the way I see myself (I feel as obese as I did at 331 pounds. I can't find one single outfit that I like myself in). And that mental thinking, in turn, comes out in the way I carry myself and the way I dress myself. Bad cycle.

I don't want it to be that way. But it is what it is.

And so............I must PUSH myself to get back to (and below) 250.

I'm ready to get back to feeling like I did.


  1. And you will!! --Edwina

  2. And you will get back to that feeling again. Unfortunately many "other" things get in the way or take up much energy from us that we are left with hardly anything. Even though you still have a lot going on, you are reserving some of that energy for you again. Which is so good.
    I may not be making any sense but to me I am. I hope you do too.

    Many hugs,

  3. Some days I look fine in the mirror. Then other days I'm like what!? It's all about the angle.

    Congratulations on your success this far. I use "bad" photos of myself to motivate myself to move forward. Even though others say, "you look fine"'s hard not to be critical of ourselves.

  4. Ugh- the mental game we play SUCKS SO MUCH!!! A bad picture is a bad picture though at ANY weight (GOD knows I still have bad angles even having lost 160 lbs!) I DO still have hanging stomach skin in the same place your bad picture shows, but it's easier to disguise now. LOL I TOTALLY understand the reality that 7 lbs doesn't change much, but OMG it sure can FEEL like it!

    Keep your chin up, buttercup! It's ONLY 7 lbs. I love all the comments you leave on my blog. You should come friend me on Facebook (Cole Croft, maiden name Cole Wingate) so that I can add you to my Habitually Healthy group page. :)

  5. .....And you will get back there again....go girl, you are going to do it !!!