I've been feeling dizzy and like I could pass out easily for the past few days. You know what I think it is? Exhaustion. Specifically, not enough quality sleep. It has been over two months now since I have slept through the night. Any new mom can relate to that. I think it is hitting me harder at 36 than it did at 21. Also, at age 21, I didn't have a lot going on during the day and I slept when he slept.
Not this go around---I'm as busy as ever. It's hard to nap when your 15-year-old needs to be picked up from work, your mom needs a ride to the store, your daughter wants to go to the library, your husband is working at someone's house and needs you to bring him a tool from the garage, etc. (All of these things happened today, by the way, plus many more). I'm trying to say NO to things that aren't necessary or aren't my obligation, so I can focus on my own self care, but the reality is, many things CAN'T be marked off the list and I've just got to make it work.
The conclusion: time management is hard.
One day recently, I stayed up late after baby fell asleep, making preparations for the next day-- setting out clothes for all family members (so I don't have to help hunt for a sock the next morning during a mad rush), preplanned my meals with calorie counts, packed anything I needed to take with me, checked my calendar, etc. It made for a smooth morning the next morning and that was GREAT! I'm a fan of stressfree mornings! HOWEVER..........my preparation time cut into my sleep time and I was almost too tired to function the next day.
And so I said, "Amy! You need to start going to sleep by 9:30!!! You can't do ANYTHING well if you are too tired!" ('tis very true). And so the next night came and the clock moved 100 miles per hour and even though I tried very hard to manage everything well, 9:30 came and I didn't have any preparations made for the next day. I went to bed by 9:30 though and I got my blessed sleep! I slept from 9:30-6:30ish, with about 3 episodes of getting up for the baby. (It beat the night I went to bed at 1 a.m.!) I rested well.
That was last night. So, this morning, I was better rested and UNPREPARED FOR MY DAY. I had to fly out the door by a certain time to be at an appointment and hubby called needing me to bring him that tool on the way and we had issues finding clothes (I admit, I told daughter to dig yesterday's skirt out of the dirty clothes), my meals were not preplanned and I flew by the seat of my pants, yada yada yada.
Not having my meals preplanned is a biggie with me. I did still stay in calorie range but my choices were not all that great a couple of times----like the time mom bought me a McDouble---and the time dad gave me a twix. I ate both of those. Those items are such empty, junky calories and I would never have eaten them if I had preplanned and had packed a better choice. It's hard to say no when you are hungry and someone offers you free "food". On the bright side, I did stay in calorie range and I did grab apples and grapes for daughter and I to eat for breakfast as we were going down the road. Also, even though my morning walk didn't happen, I did an evening walk, so........same difference, I guess (although I somehow feel better doing the morning one).
Goodness......you must be faithful if you are still reading this long thing! Thank you!
So here it is 10:15 and I'm about to go to bed AND I'm not pre-planned for tomorrow! Yikes! Thankfully I SHOULD get to stay home tomorrow, except possibly a trip to the grocery store since we are just about out of grub.
What's my plan to make this whole "sleep vs. preplanning, aka there-aren't-enough-hours-in-the-day-and-the-baby-just-woke-up" thing work?
I don't know.
But I just have to keep trying and believing God will send me the answer.
Maybe He will send it in my sleep.