Thursday, November 15, 2012

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I haven't always handled the "dad's cancer tragedy" as well as I would like. I've had days that I've fed my emotions. a lot. I'm up about 7 pounds from my lowest (which was in September). Depressed. Not doing well. I want to be honest.

When you feed yourself junk, and a lot of it, not only do you gain weight, but you get sick and feel bad. I've felt horrid.

I was going to go to the doctor but I lost my insurance card.

A little less than 24 hours ago, I started taking St. John's Wort and I hope the initial results keep up. I have felt better. Not amazing, but better. And I am determined to feel myself healthy foods and cut out the junk that makes me sick.

Because I need to.

I just wanted to post this because I want it to be real. And this is life right now. And I'm still going to lose weight and be healthy and be the queen. Sometimes there's just a bit of ugliness in the beauty. And I don't want to lie and pretend it's all beautiful.

All is well that ends well.


  1. The French say that no woman can be truly beautiful if she is not also ugly. I think Life is the same way. There will be ugliness and beauty can be found in that ugliness.
    Losing my mother 5 months ago continues to be an ugly spot in my life but I cannot deny that from that ugliness came a beautiful relationship with my sister and brother that I never had before.

    Thank you for staying real and honest.

  2. So well stated and so true. I also have been going through some tough times but feeding it all with junk food, well it certainly is NOT a pretty picture. I for one need to get my head out of the sand and straighten up and do what must be done.

    I hope that you too will get to a compromise place, somewhere that you have some peace with yourself.

    Many blessings....

  3. Good post Amy, it is tough sometimes to look ourselves in the eye and say enough is enough when we just feel like crawling in a hole with a bucket of sweets. Good for you for being real with yourself. *hugs*

  4. I know that you're going through a rough period and it's hard. I remember a similar time when everything was totally out of my control and I was having a hard time coping. I realized I could control one thing and it was my eating and it felt good to be able to do that. Hone in on that and maybe it will help.

  5. I'm in TOPS too and often post about it. In the midst of a hard situation, you are somehow doing very good weight-wise. Keep it up!

    :-) Marion