Thursday, November 15, 2012

The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I haven't always handled the "dad's cancer tragedy" as well as I would like. I've had days that I've fed my emotions. a lot. I'm up about 7 pounds from my lowest (which was in September). Depressed. Not doing well. I want to be honest.

When you feed yourself junk, and a lot of it, not only do you gain weight, but you get sick and feel bad. I've felt horrid.

I was going to go to the doctor but I lost my insurance card.

A little less than 24 hours ago, I started taking St. John's Wort and I hope the initial results keep up. I have felt better. Not amazing, but better. And I am determined to feel myself healthy foods and cut out the junk that makes me sick.

Because I need to.

I just wanted to post this because I want it to be real. And this is life right now. And I'm still going to lose weight and be healthy and be the queen. Sometimes there's just a bit of ugliness in the beauty. And I don't want to lie and pretend it's all beautiful.

All is well that ends well.

5 comments:

  1. The French say that no woman can be truly beautiful if she is not also ugly. I think Life is the same way. There will be ugliness and beauty can be found in that ugliness.
    Losing my mother 5 months ago continues to be an ugly spot in my life but I cannot deny that from that ugliness came a beautiful relationship with my sister and brother that I never had before.

    Thank you for staying real and honest.

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  2. So well stated and so true. I also have been going through some tough times but feeding it all with junk food, well it certainly is NOT a pretty picture. I for one need to get my head out of the sand and straighten up and do what must be done.

    I hope that you too will get to a compromise place, somewhere that you have some peace with yourself.

    Many blessings....

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  3. Good post Amy, it is tough sometimes to look ourselves in the eye and say enough is enough when we just feel like crawling in a hole with a bucket of sweets. Good for you for being real with yourself. *hugs*

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  4. I know that you're going through a rough period and it's hard. I remember a similar time when everything was totally out of my control and I was having a hard time coping. I realized I could control one thing and it was my eating and it felt good to be able to do that. Hone in on that and maybe it will help.

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  5. I'm in TOPS too and often post about it. In the midst of a hard situation, you are somehow doing very good weight-wise. Keep it up!

    :-) Marion

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