Somebody's watching me.

Wow.......I just wrote a huge post here and it got erased! eerrrrr

The point was, yesterday I was thinking about what my kids see me do (such as eating ice cream at 11 p.m.) and what am I teaching them by the life I live?

So, I put my ice cream away and only ate half of it.

I'm NOT going to rewrite everything that just got erased......

But in summary, I stayed in cal range, consumed around 60 oz of water and exercised 30 minutes.

And..........I'm out of bananas.

Today I hope to plan my meals for the next couple of weeks and make a grocery list.

Have a great day!

Going down....................

I always weigh in the mornings before getting dressed. My scales are NOT reliable. I usually weigh 3 times and average it. This morning it was lower than yesterday. ALL. THREE. TIMES. That's very good! yay! Keep it up, Amy...have a healthy day!

Wednesday:

6:45 a.m.....360 cals
8 oz. orange juice
2 kelloggs fiber plus bars

8:50 a.m.....150 cals
stick cheese
2 slices turkey

11:00 a.m.....390 cals
.75 cup bran flakes
.25 cup granola
1 cup 2% milk
half a banana

1:00 p.m...560 cals
lean pocket
half a strawberry smoothie

3:00 p.m...390 cals
repeat cereal

5:00 p.m...250 cals
2 kellogg's fiber plus bars

9:00....1,060 cals
french bread pizza
2/3 cup corn
small salad
2 kellogg fiber plus bars

TOTALS:
cals= 3160 (in range, barely)
water=53 oz
ex= 30 minute on wii fit

Wow...I ate a lot of fiber plus bars today. Why? Because they have chocolate in them, thus feeling like a treat, yet they are not that bad for you. They are only 125 cals and have a 35% RDA of fiber. So, looks like I'm getting plenty of fiber! Maybe I should cut back on them. Or maybe not. I KNOW I am probably going a little overboard with them, but if they are keeping me from eating something else sweet (think snickers) maybe I should use them as my crutch for a while longer. Yes, I think that's best.

I weighed 306.5 @ TOPS last night, for a loss of 1.5 pounds for the week.

Our meeting discussed the importance of exercise and we are to track our minutes exercised for the month of May and report them at the first meeting of June.

Tuesday:

10 a.m...700 cals
egg & cheese sandwich
12 almonds
8 oz orange juice

12:15 p.m.....260 cals
8 oz apple juice
kashi almond bar

2:15 p.m.....760 cals
1.5 cups bran flakes
half cup granola
12 almonds
1.5 cups 2% milk
half a banana

4:15 p.m....250 cals
2 kellogg's fiber plus bars

8:00.....150 cals
vanilla cone from McD's

9:45 p.m....548 cals
6" turkey sub
baked bbq chips

TOTALS
cals=2,668 (in range)
water=52 oz
ex=15 minutes wii


Tuesday was BUSY. Housework (which didn't get finished), school work, errands, TOPS, more errands, then getting home to eat supper @ 9:30. Crazy busy!

I usually get up with hubby and pray with him before he goes to work (5:30 a.m. ug!) but he hasn't woke me up for the past few days. I asked him about it and he said I was snoring like crazy and he figured I needed the sleep. zzz I may have sleep apnea. I am so tired most of the time. That's one more thing I am looking forward to with weight loss----getting better rest (sleep apnea often improves or disappears with weight loss).

Recap of Monday

Sometime during the early morning (middle of the night) hours I ate a fiber one bar and checked messages online. :) 140 cals

9:10 a.m....540 cals
3/4 cup bran flakes
1/4 cup granola
1 c. 2% milk (the store was out of 1%)
18 almonds
half a BANANA ;)

11:15 .m....280 cals
2 fiber one bars

1:30 p.m...540 cals
repeat of breakfast

2:10 p.m..150 cals
small vanilla ice cream cone...yum

3:45 p.m....325 cals
small salad

6:45 p.m....350 cals (It is time for supper, but I have to be somewhere at 7, so I guess supper will have to wait)
8 oz orange juice
kashi bar
stick cheese

9:15 p.m....667 cals
baked chicken breast
bbq sauce
half a cup of noodles
half cup peas
2/3 cup corn
baked potato with small amount of margarine


10:15...140 cals
fiber one bar

TOTALS:
cals=3,132 (within range, but barely!)
water= 71 oz
ex= 15 minute strength training on wii and walked 1 mile at the trail (24 minutes)


And this evening is TOPS and I am looking forward to weigh-in!

Anonomous Curious Commenter

Dear Anonomous Curious Commenter,
Please read my comment back to you under the comment section of my previous post.

Have a nice life,
Amy, the banana eating, 2011 TOPS Oklahoma Queen

SRD report and feeling good

I am feeling good. I am *still* coughing but either it has improved (I'm pretty sure it has) or I have gotten used to it. I think most of my "feeling good" is being spawned by a mental/emotional feel good because of being so encouraged at SRD (State Recognition Days for TOPS). Hey, if being mentally pumped can make me feel phsically better, that works for me!

I was going to post about how much lighter I was at this year's SRD than last year's. I got out my weight book and was saddened to find that at SRD last year I was actually 3.75 pounds lighter at LAST YEAR's SRD. eeerrrrr. That is frustrating. Here's the post from last year's SRD: http://thattopslady.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-post.html

However, last year's SRD was held at the very END of May, and May had been a very good month for me. Last May I lost 14.25 pounds during that month alone! So, technically, as of what I weigh RIGHT NOW compared to what I weighed on this date one year ago, I am 7.5 pounds lighter NOW. However, I will have to have another awesome May THIS YEAR in order to say that for long! Let's do it. Let's have an awesome May!!!! Wow...If I lost 14 pounds this May, I would start June at 294. I'd be happy with that.

I am excited about tomorrow's weigh in. SRD got me pumped. I have been exercising and staying in calorie limits since then. I walked on the treadmill for one hour Saturday morning before the SRD festivities began. I need to walk EVERY day. I need to do those wii exercises too.

Oh...........speaking of wii exercises, my hubby is exercising like crazy and lost 16 pounds in about 4 weeks. *ppffttt* *Sticks tongue out at hubby* No, actually I am proud of him. And it helps me too because he is trying to eat healthy and isn't asking for the fried foods as much.


This year's king said he joined TOPS because his wife had joined and after a few weeks he asked "How are you doing? Are you losing any?" to which she said that she wasn't losing but that she didn't feel weird about it because NO ONE in her chapter was losing. He thought "How ridiculous to have a weight loss group that isn't losing weight". He went and was like "Ladies, if you would consisitently put forth more effort and quit making excuses, you COULD lose the weight, and I'm going to join and prove to you that it can be done." So, he joined and lost 30 something pounds in 13 weeks and kept it off! That reminded me of my hubby, who although he hasn't joined TOPS, is losing weight and would be excelling more than I if I weren't getting my rear in gear!

On to the SRD pictures.........the one of just me is, well, just me LOL.

The pic of me and the queen turned out yucky so I'm not posting it. The queen had lost 80 something pounds. It took her a Loooooooooooooong time. 30 years. Yikes. That wasn't very inspiring. But at least she didn't give up, I guess. Or apparently she DID give up several times, but always got back up and tried again. Anyway......

And the skinny lady in the blue dress is Cynthia Mack. She reached her goal weight 13 years ago and is now an area captain in Canada and a retreat director. She is a highly motivating speaker and I sure enjoyed all she had to say!

Ok.........I need to get off of here and get busy. Thanks for reading... Thanks for missing me when I wasn't posting.... Thanks for joining me on the journey to my goal weight.


:) that TOPS lady, Amy

still feeling bad

Sorry I am not posting. I am still feeling yucky. Surely soon I will be well. Going to look at the library for books about different things that may be causing me to feel this way. I have had a hard time getting over this cough, sneeze, snot thing. blah. But I'm believing that I will be better soon.

Thanks for remembering me.

Marriage Conference Notes

For those who are interested, here are the notes from the marriage conference hubby and I attended this past weekend.
*********
Marriage Conference 4/23/10 Robert Kurz, marriage conselor
Session One- "Communication"

1. Communicate with a spirit of Truth - Communicate with a spirit of truth, not half truths. Do not hide things from your spouse.

2.Communicate with Grace, which is undeserved favor. Speak nicely to your spouse even when you think they don't deserve it. "Let your speech be always with grace"

3. Speak with Edification- build up your spouse. Let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth. If you don't control your speech, you are like a city with broken down walls--defenseless.

4. Speak with Optimism- "Do all things without complaining or disputing" Phil 2:14

(Have the same attitude at home as you do with others. He tells the story of staying over very late after church because he was in his office conselling church members. He helped and helped his church members while his wife and kids waited for him. His kids fell asleep at the church. When it was finally time to leave, his wife pointed out that he gives so much to others that he had nothing left for his family. He was out of balance and was treating accquaintances better than he was treating his family. He saw his fault and determined to change that. He said "It is WRONG to use all of your energy doing good things if we have no energy left for our families")

5. Communicate an attitude of Humility- When you are wrong, admit it. When you are right, shut up.

6. Communicate with unity-- meet in the middle, compromise with your spouse, don't be selfish

7. Communicate by listening- Be there for your spouse even when you don't feel like it.


Session Two-- "Why don't we pray?"

Five minutes a day of praying together, aloud, for your spouse will build a strong marriage and is a mighty weapon against satan. However, 90% of Christian families don't do this. Most of them do pray for their spouse during their personal devotions, and that is good, but if we would also daily put our hand our our spouse's head and really PRAY FOR THEM, it would be very powerful.

Most people he counsels DO want to do this, but they are busy, or their schedules conflict or whatever, there are many excuses. But we end up doing what we WANT to do and if our desire for an awesome marriage is strong enough, we will discipline ourselves and pray. You will have pain either way.........the pain of self discipline or the pain of regret.

"The mightiest weapon we have is intercessory prayer"- Robert E. Lee

www.trainingforlifeministries.com

nonchalant & SRD definition

I am STILL sick. Still. wow. I guess it is allergies. I am taking meds out the kazoo and it doesn't seem to be helping. Cough. Sneeze. Red eyes. Sleepy. Snot. Blah. Surely it will be over soon.

Marriage retreat was *wonderful*! I will post a seperate post with a copy of my notes.

My eating has just been okay. No binging, really, but not being very strict on myself either. I just haven't felt like it.

We went to the fitness center of the hotel at marriage conference and on the treadmill I walked a 5K! It has been about a year since I've walked a 5K. It felt good!

Nothing really to say.........and I want to get school and housework done EARLY so that I can go to bed between 7 and 8 tonight because I am so sleepy. zzzz

Btw, someone asked what SRD stands for. It is State Recognition Days for TOPS (take off pounds sensibly) and it is a formal awards assembly/fun day held once a year in Tulsa, where our king and queen for the year for the orginization are crowned.

Thanks for reading!

I'm a Milkshake Drunk,sometimes

I would like to introduce you to my friend from "Escape from Obesity". Her post today really knocked me out of my stupid thinking.

Her post is here:

http://escapefromobesity.blogspot.com/2010/04/you-too-can-lose-0-pounds-in-20-months.html

My response to her post is here:

I read this at exactly the right time. See, we are going on a "date weekend" starting tomorrow and I have the CELEBRATE mentality and my brain keeps telling me to enjoy this time by not counting calories and by driving to sonic to get a big milkshake! BUT..........your post reminded me........of the struggle. I have struggled, struggled, struggled....still struggle with these crazy few pounds that are keeping me above 300. My first goal is to weigh less than 300. The closest I have gotten is 300.75 for ONE day, then I shot back up and fluctuate mostly between 303-310. One year ago I went to SRD for TOPS and I was losing well and I just knew that by this time I would have lost a TON of weight. However, this year's SRD is in EIGHT days and I'll be happy to just be below 300. STRUGGLE! So, what makes me think I can drink milkshakes and blow off counting calories and STILL make that goal? CRAZY and INcorrect thinking. THANK YOU for this post which woke me up from my milkshake dream. I have something to work for. Now I am going to get off my booty and go exercise! You are an inspiration!

Tomorrow hubby and I are going to this lovely hotel http://www.marriott.com/hotels/travel/tulbr-renaissance-tulsa-hotel-and-convention-center/ for two days for Marriage Conference. The kids will be going to grandma's. We are looking forward to it!

Facebook it messed up right now. Or is it just my account? I can't check messages...everything is in a very basic format---just messed up. Is yours?

Thanks for reading! I have a ton to do today! The regular stuff (school and housework), then be at the church @ 5 for prayer meeting. Also packing for the trip, packing stuff for the kids to take to grandma's, and I will probably need to go to the store. busy, busy, busy but fun, fun, fun!

Have a great day and thanks for reading!


Wednesday:

9 a.m....480 cals
2/3 c. bran flakes
1 c. kashi cereal
half a banana
1.5 c. 1% milk

11 a.m....50 cals
small apple

1:30 p.m....775 cals
3 mini pizzas made from English Muffins
2/3 cup corn
1 toast with jelly
1/3 pkg skittles

6:15 p.m....210 cals
12 nilla wafers

11 p.m...1390 cals
3 pc cheese pizza
2/3 cup corn
can of dr pepper
1.5 cups cocoa pebbles
1.5 cups 1% milk

2,905 cals total. Within range.

Back in the saddle

I have been in the saddle, fell off the saddle while throwing up, back in the saddle, back out of the saddle to clean up other people's vomit and am now BACK in the saddle again, hopefully to stay!

It is sad that the bumps in life can shake our determination to make healthy decisions. Life is ALWAYS going to happen. There has NEVER been an extended time of peace, calm and perfectness. Really....think about it.......has you ever had an extended time of idea weight loss conditions? Life is going to happen!!!! There will ALWAYS be excuses. So, I must get to the point that NO MATTER WHAT IS GOING ON, I still make wise nutrition and exercise decisions. Must. or fail. Do it or fail, it's that simple, really. *sigh* I gained 1.75 pounds this week. fail.

I try to take it day by day. But even that is too big of a stretch. I guess I need to ask myself every few hours "Am I making healthy decisions or am I failing?" Ok.......I will aim for that today.........asking myself that question every few hours. May even set my timer to remember to "check on myself".

In the spirit of honesty, I will post what I ate yesterday, although it was a fail day:

Tuesday 4/20/10

9 a.m.
maple long john donut
small carton chocolate milk

1 p.m.
3 layer nachos from taco bell
chicken quasidilla
approx 10 skittles

6 p.m.
16 oz milkshake from Braum's

9 p.m.
kiddie size milkshake from Braum's
medium fries
junior burger

3,782 cals (over by 622)

SPRING CHALLENGE UPDATE>>>>>>>
1. exercise= fail
2. no soda= failed but did drastically cut back
3. something good about me= I'm not ashamed to be seen without makeup. When I was 14, I wouldn't even let my own cousin see me without makeup because I was ashamed of how I looked. However, the next year I enrolled in a Christian school that didn't allow makeup and I got used to it and realized that I look just fine. Actually, after a few years of not wearing any makeup, my skin drastically improved.

sick.

I am sick. So is hubby and son. Stomach virus, fever, chills. Praying to be well tomorrow. We need to be healthy this week and to get school work done. Please pray for us. Thanks.

Thursday and Friday

I said I would post what I consumed on Thursday but I've changed my mind. It's just too much work and my heart isn't into doing that today for some reason. It is sufficient to say "I ate just fine until really late and then I went over my calories with a cup of ice cream and 3 granola bars. I was lazy and didn't exercise. I drank water, but probably not enough."

Now, today is Friday. I didn't journal today. I was/am in such a funk! Weird. I just needed a day "off" and I'm okay with that. Thank you for the nice comments. I really appreciate the lady who said maybe my allergies had something to do with it and that it was okay. I really needed to hear that. THANK YOU!

Tonight I was invited to a preacher and preacher's wife dinner. Which is odd, because my husband is not a preacher. We do a LOT at the church, have a lot of titles and hold a lot of offices, but preacher isn't one of them. So, we were honored to be invited. Strangely, I wasn't nervous at all or the least bit intimidated. It was good. Funny, someone asked me "Is your husband a preacher?" and I said "no" but later I thought of the funniest thing to say... I said "I'm married to a BM (which usually stands for bowel movement, ya know). I went on to explain that BM stood for Board Member. And since I am his Wife, that makes me a BMW! (and I even said it while we were sitting at the table eating...probably not the best time to say it..but it was hillarious and went over well) A young girl in her 20's went on to say that her husband was a pit...yes, a P.I.T.....Preacher In Training.
It was a good night.

Mayday! Mayday!

I haven't posted about yesterday yet or caught up reading the blogs (I plan to in a bit) but I am REALLY having an odd day and I am requesting prayers.

I have made a chain of unwise decisions in the past few hours.

It started last night. I ate a cup of ice cream even though it would put me over calorie limits.

Then I stayed up until almost 3 a.m. wasting time on the computer.

I ate 3 granola bars in the middle of the night.

I slept LATE (10:30).
(The kids are both sick, so we aren't having school today.)

I woke up starving.

I feel like having a "oh well" day. Not a very good attitude to have! hum......

so........................yeah. pffft.

allergies, challenge update, and Wednesday

Son and I had allergy issues like crazy yesterday! I sure hope it rains today and calms things down. I took a benadryl and felt sooooooooooo slleeeeeeeeeeeepy all day long. blah. I am DETERMINED that I will stay on schedule today and be productive. Yesterday I didn't really "do" hardly anything. I was just here.

Daughter woke up this morning vomiting and she still is. And running fever. Always something! So today I am perfecting the art of vomit catching and doing a lot of laudry. At least I'm glad I am able to stay home with her.

Challenge update:
1. exercise 6 days per week= exercised 3 days. Not very good. I was in the birthday/sugar/lazy rut. Sadly, I still feel quite lazy. But I am trying to get over it!

2. no soda= I had soda on my birthday and the day after..but those were the only two days of the challenge that I broke the rules.

3. something good about myself= I want to be a good wife. Some people just don't care if they are or not..but I do care. I am NOT the wife I want to be (yet) but I am working on it.

Hubby wore a pedometer after he realized that I was wearing one. He seems to think I do nothing all day except sit in front of the computer. Well, comparing steps, I moved around a LOT more than him. hehehehe I had to laugh. I guess that busts his theory. Still, I knew his pride was injured, so I said "Maybe it wasn't picking up right on you. Or maybe it picks up TOO much on me because I jiggle more when I walk." ;)

Wednesday
9:00....680 cals
1.5 cups bran flakes
half a banana
1.5 c. 1% milk

1:00 p.m....670 cals
1 c. hamburger helper (cheeseburger mac)
2/3 cup corn
2 kashi cookies

3:10....140 cals
fiber one bar

3:45 p.m.....280 cals
2 scrambled eggs
1 slice cheese
1 toast

6:00 p.m....500 cals
kashi almond bar
stick cheese
2 kashi cookies

10:40 p.m.....420 cals
bacon and cheese sandwich
fiber one bar

11:30 p.m....260 cals
1 cup ice cream

TOTALS:
2,950 cals (within range)
3,751 sodium (still too high)
64 oz water
ex= -0- (I could give an excuse..but I'm so tired of making excuses.)

Birthday cake + weigh in = not good.

This picture was taken a year ago, at TOPS State Recogniton Days, with the outgoing chapter queen. I am REALLY looking forward to attending SRD again this year, which is April 30th and May 1st in Tulsa (4 hours from my house). My hubby and kids go with me, but they just lay around in the hotel room and watch tv and eat and "vacation" while I am downstairs doing my TOPS stuff. It is a lot of fun. My TOPS chapter is giving me $100 to go toward the expenses. That was so nice.

Last night showed a 1.25 pound gain on the TOPS scales, due to my birthday and the unhealthy day that followed it. *sigh* It could have been worse. And it is NOT going to stay.

My computer is acting crazy. I had to restart it SEVERAL times before it would connect to the internet. So, if I come up missing, it means my computer died, and in that case, I will post from the library about once per week. I hope that doesn't happen though.

Tuesday 4/13/10

8:30 a.m.....801 cals
1.5 pb&j sandwiches
12 almonds
1c. 1% milk

11:00 a.m....200 cals
stick cheese
12 almonds

1:00 p.m....400 cals
small McDonalds' hamburger
vanilla cone

3:00 p.m....410 cals
1 cup hamburger helper (cheesy baked potato)
2/3 cup corn

6:30 p.m...490 cals
2 kashi cookies
1 mini fiber one bar
1 regular fiber one bar

8:30 p.m...700 cals
1 cup kashi cereal
half a banana
2/3 c. bran flakes
2 cups 1% milk
1 kashi cookie

TOTALS:
calories=3,001 (within range)
sodium=3,492 (still too high)
exercise= walked one mile (24 minutes)

I weighed 305.25 at TOPS this week. My calorie range is 2,100-3,163.

Getting over it and Eating what you plan.

Yesterday morning I wrote down a plan of what I would eat that day. I planned within calorie range and I planned that I would have something to eat every 2 hours. Then I FORBID myself to stray from my plan...NO substitutions whatsoever. I told myself "So, you want to eat a bunch of sweets, eh? Well, you can't have them. Not today. So, GET OVER IT." Somehow, that worked. I planned what I ate and ate what I planned. ding ding ding, we have a winner. ;)

I also FORCED myself to do the wii fit for 30 minutes. I REALLY didn't want to. I did some heavy talking to myself today. "too bad, so sad, you have no choice, now exercise". My heart wasn't in it...I did the easiest exercises on there..but I did it.

All day long my precious 8 year old daughter asked if we could go for a walk together. blah. That doesn't sound fun! But I wanted to make her happy. So after supper, we walked the neighborhood. It was nice. I was glad I did it.

So the day was a victory because I got my footing back. It wasn't an excellent day....but it was within limits. Since I have had 3 days of being over the limits, within the limits is good!

This evening is TOPS and weigh in. yikes.

Monday 4/12/10

10 a.m....760 cals
1.5 cups bran flakes
1.5 cups 1% milk from Braum's (the best!)
12 almonds
half a banana

12 noon......313 calories
1 can tuna
2 boiled eggs
4 pickle slices
1 slice toast

2:00 p.m.....615 cals
salad with lettuce, tomato, cheese, dressing and chicken.
1 and 1/3 cup dry honeycomb

4:00 p.m....410 cals
1 cup kashi cereal
half a banana
6 almonds
1 cup 1% milk

6:00 p.m.....650 cals
1 cup hamburger helper (cheesy baked potato)
2 rolls
2/3 cup corn
1 cup green beans

Bedtime....347 cals
half of a pb & j sandwich
4 almonds
1 c. 1% milk

DAY TOTALS:
calories= 3,095 (within range)
sodium= 5,274 (yikes! high!)
water= 70 oz.
exercise= 45 minutes

Weekend druggie :(

Once again, sorry for the pictureless post.

Saturday and Sunday were not good. When I had my "eat whatever you want because it is your birthday" day on Friday, I awakened the sugar/carb addiction within me. Saturday I didn't do well. I finished off the birthday cake....and ate quite a bit of pasta. I felt physically dependent on these things. I know that sounds silly, but if you've been there, you know, and if you haven't then you don't.

I realized that in order to get over this, I was going to HAVE to STOP eating the bad stuff... as long as you eat it, you will keep craving it. eerrr...it's like a drug, really.

So, Sunday I determined to eat healthy. But sometimes willpower is not enough. I felt like I was starving. But still, I stayed within calories UNTIL time for bed. I felt like I just HAD to have something sweet. had too. Luckily, there was nothing "sweet" in the house (i.e. ice cream, little debbies, etc). I knew a binge was coming on and I felt powerless to stop it. So......I compromised on myself. I told myself that I could eat granola cereal with almonds in it (because it does taste a little sweet but it is a natural sweet) BUT that I had to eat it out of a punch cup. LOL A punch cup! tiny! I refilled it twice. :)

So.............Saturday was ppfpfftttt.

Sunday was not perfect but making progress out of this terrible stronghold.

And today is Monday. New week. I'm forgetting the things that are behind and focusing on today.

Last night, our pastor preached about "man's days are few and full of trouble"....about life is NEVER going to be perfect...there are ALWAYS going to be struggles. He preached about learning to live life to the fullest DESPITE the struggles....about NOT WAITING for the struggle to end to enjoy your life. I thought it fit my weight loss stuff perfectly.
I hope you have a great day and thanks for reading!!!! :)

Happy Birthday to me!

Yesterday was my birthday. As my present to myself, I told myself that I could "go wild" and eat whatever I wanted, but only during the 24 hour period. And I did. I'll spare you the details. Sadly, I didn't enjoy it (the greasy food) as much as I thought I would. I think that is good. Perhaps I have made some mental changes. Last night I was feeling somewhat sick (imagine that) and I felt like I really wanted a bottle of water and a kashi bar. Weird. But a good weird.
I only ate ONE piece of cake. I was too full to eat more. I've got to get the rest of that cake OUT of my house today. must.

I did not make my goal of being under 300. But that's okay. I'm close. And I'm still going down. I'll get there. My wii said I was 303.75 yesterday morning.

I cancelled school and decided that we would do things that *I* love all day. :) We went to yard sale after yard sale after yard sale! My son didn't particularly love this. But I bought him and his sister some stuff to keep the peace. Really, who wants to hear a bunch of whining on their birthday? "Here, take this 50 cents and find something to buy and be happy already." LOL :) It works!

I bought a blouse that is great for church and does NOT have to be ironed (yay!). I found a loveseat that I LOVE and I jimmied them down to $40 on it. I also got a beautiful end table for just $3. (these are pictured above). I was really looking for porch furniture but didn't find any. So I went to the dollar store and bought me some :) I reimbursed myself, partially, when mom gave me birthday money...so one of the chairs is from her. This made it float a little better with the hubby ;) It was a great day!

talking to myself

@Supper last night= "Well, that lasagna was really good. I want some more. I can eat more and still be in calorie limit. And look, hubby still has half a serving on his plate. I can eat that! No harm!"

"NO. Just no. You planned what you would eat and you ate what you planned. You don't need anything else. You've had enough. So, no. Just no. Now get up and wash the dishes" Then I threw leftover lasagna in the trash.

20 minutes later, while washing dishes "I am so glad I didn't eat that lasagna. I wasn't hungry. As a matter of fact, I'm rather uncomfortably full" burp

**************
9 a.m....600 cals
kashi cereal with granola, banana and 1% milk

11:30 a.m.....455 cals
strawberry smoothie

1:30 p.m....200 cals
12 almonds
stick cheese

3:30 p.m....281 cals
1 can tuna
1 T light miracle whip
pickles
2 slices bread

5:30 p.m......950 cals
1.5 servgings lasagna (yum!)
2 garlic rolls
1 and 1/3 cups corn
sugar free pudding cup
kashi almond bar

DAY TOTALS
cals= 2,486 (well within range)
sodium= 3,068 (better than yesterday, but still too much)
water= approx. 60 oz
exercise= short challenge on wii biggest loser game and then mowed the yard

In reference to the calorie comments.

Let's "Keep moving forward" (from "Meet the Robinsons, which, even though it is a kid movie, has a really deep meaning and is one of my favorites! I highly recommend watching it with your weight loss journey in mind!)

I don't think anyone was trying to be ugly with their comments. (one person even said "I'm not being ugly, okay?" ...so...no, they weren't trying to be ugly) I think they were just trying to offer advice.
It *IS* a bit frustrating for me to say "This is how many calories I eat and this is why" and feel *victorious* about the changes you have made, to keep getting "wow, you eat too much" comments.
I am NOT where I need to be yet. But I am way better than I was. And I am still moving forward. I am not ready to move my calories down. But I do appreciate all of the comments. It does me a world of good just to know that people are reading. Please don't stop commenting. I really do appreciate it. And we will all get to our goal...regardless of our route...as long as we are consistent and keep moving forward. yay!

(SkinnyHollie, in reference to your question, my leader said the following: "The Biggest Loser-The Weight-Loss Program to Transform Your Body, Health, and Life page 30 is where the chart figures that I use. But the formula of your weight x12 -500 (or -1,000) comes from my past readings and studies. I have come across it a couple of place but I can't remember where. That is the formula I used the last two years.")

Eating 3,000 calories per day.

I've gotten a lot of comments about me eating so many calories per day. I will address that issue here.

I have been a yo-yo dieter for YEARS. I'd do good, lose up to 10 pounds, give in to hunger, eat, gain it all back, repeat. When I wasn't journalling and watching my intake, a normal day for be was around 4,500 calories (mostly consumed in sweets and carbs). When I "got back on the wagon", I'd do 1,500-2,000 per day. BUT that was too much of a jump FOR ME. I would feast, starve, feast, starve. That is not healthy.

Enter *** (name has been removed). I am 100% sure heaven sent her into my life to help me with my weight loss. **** had been overweight for years and she, too, had been a yo-yo dieter. So, she can relate. BUT that was then. She is now 115 pounds of pure health. She owns a women's only fitness center. She has done TONS of research on HEALTHY weight loss.
She is the one who gave me my calorie goals. She said to take your weight, multiply by 12, then subtract 500. That number will be your max intake. For your minimum intake, you can subtract 1,000 instead of 500 OR you can use the biggest loser chart. (My min is 2,100 according to the biggest loser chart) Update your numbers weekly as you take off pounds sensibly.

So, that is what I have been doing for the past few weeks and I *have* been losing. It *has* been slow (except for the one week when I lost 4.25 for some reason that I don't understand) but slow weight loss is better than NO weight loss.....and slow weight loss is GOOD if it is permanent :)

Still, I had so many "you are eating too much" comments, I decided to email *** last night to make sure I was on base. Below are copy and pastes from that email:

Sent: Wednesday, April 07, 2010 6:21 PM
To: ****
Subject: calories


I have a quick question.
I weighed 304 yesterday. 304 x 12 - 500 is just over 3,000 calories, so I set that as my limit.
However, I am getting a TON of comments on my blog saying that is WAY too many calories for me, even at 304.
I just am wondering what to say to these people....and wanting to make sure you are sure I'm okay with that amount.
Thanks for your help!
:) Amy

***********
Amy,
The below formula would be the maximum. If you want to lose one pound within a week, without exercise. For your weight, The Biggest Loser recommends 2,100. So your range should be 2,100- to 3,148. If you stay at the maximum all the time, it will come off as long as you are very diligent but it will be very slow. The more you cut your calories the faster you will lose weight but it most likely won't be fat. It will be muscle and bone. To lose the fat effectively, you have to burn it off. That means exercise! I did read your food diary this morning. It looks so much better! And I saw about 2 1/2 hours of exercise. That is wonderful!

Your exercise is burning more calories and will make a difference in losing weight faster.

Going lower than 1,000 calories of your maximum, is unhealthy. It actually messes up your metabolism because your body starts getting the protein it needs from your muscle. That's another reason why strength training is important. It keeps your body building muscle. CARDIO exercise is important because it burns fat!

The philosophy of eating more calories (the formula I use) and not starving is so against the norm. The Biggest Loser is always saying you have to eat to lose weight in a healthy manner. You can definitely try cutting back to 2,100 but if you get too hungry, go back up 250-300 calories (to 2,350-2400) for a few days and try going back down. You will have to retrain yourself.

Many people fail when they cut their calories to an extreme low. They can last only so long when they feel starved all the time.

That's my two cents worth. :-)
****

*********
Now, on to yesterday's food journal:

9 a.m.....460 cals
1 cup kashi 7 grain flakes
1 cup 1% milk
1/4 cup granola
half a banana

11:15 a.m.....495 cals
salad (lettuce, cheese, chicken, dressing)
sugar free pudding cup

1:30 p.m.....455 cals
strawberry smoothie

3:30 p.m.....280 cals
2 kashi almond bars

5:00....200 cals
stick of cheese
12 almonds (salt rinsed off)

9:30 p.m....600 cals
Repeated breakfast (cereal)

11:00 p.m....220 cals
popcorn chicken
(the chicken was NOT on the plan. I wasn't hungry, just wanted to eat. I ate it and realized that I was zoning out and that I was actually VERY tired. I know me, and I eat instead of sleep when I am tired. So, I identified that and brushed my teeth and said "NO MORE FOOD FOR YOU TONIGHT AMY". :)

DAY TOTALS:
calories= 2,710 (in range)
water= 40 oz (not too great)
exercise= -0- (I had a hectic day, but that is not a good excuse)
sodium= 3,788 mg Today was the first day I've tracked my sodium. WOW...it's in everything! (almost) Right now I am working on being more aware of the sodium content of my foods.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and extra thanks for the comments. I love to check in and see that I have comments! :)

:) that TOPS lady

S-L-O-W weight loss

You know I went to TOPS hoping to weigh in at ANYTHING under 300. Even 299.9 would have been fine. But no, I was 304. Only down ONE pound. I really thought I had done better than that. I wondered (hoped) "Perhaps I drank too much water on my way to weigh in". Maybe. Maybe not. Before I went to bed, I weighed on the wii and it said 300.9 and I was excited. However, I weighed on the wii THIS morning and it said 303.5 eerrr.

I think I am weighing too much and putting too much focus on the "under 300 by Friday (my birthday)" thing. I need to be happy for the pound I lost, regardless.

Having said that, I am really watching my salt intake for these next two days! Wow..have you read the labels? 90% of the things in my kitchen have a LOT of salt. Except bananas. Did you know that bananas only have 1mg of salt? I think they are a super food!

Time for a SPRING CHALLENGE CHECK-IN!
This week I *still* have had no soda! Yay!!
I exercised at least 30 minutes for only FOUR days instead of the SIX. Mostly due to poor time management.....which I am STILL working on. eerr
Something good: This one is hard today because I sure am not feeling it. OK...something good.....I am content to drive an old junky van with no air. Sure, I'd love to have a nice vehicle, and I once did...but we were so financially strapped and couldn't even pay our bills. My van was repossessed in December. Now I drive a clunker. But it is paid for! And I am okay with driving it and not even complaining because I am enjoying how it freed up our income AND because we are getting out of debt and I know that as I am patient, we will eventually be able to get a better vehicle for me and won't have to go into debt to get it! yay! (We are huge Dave Ramsey fans.) The above pic is how my hair looks when I've been in my van with no air...with the windows down. ;) LOL



Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

9:10 a.m.....760 cals
1 c. granola
1 cup 1% milk
12 almonds
2/3 banana

11:10 a.m......100 cals
12 almonds

2:20 p.m.....900 cals
3 tacos

3:10 p.m.....160 cals
nature valley bar

6:10 p.m.....estimating 500 cals
snacks at TOPS party (chips, salsa, cheese, chicken salad)

8:00 p.m.....220 cals
cookie from subway (shouldn't have had this....started a sweet craving)

9:50 p.m....897 cals
half of a 6" sub sandwich (ham, no cheese)
2 ice cream cones
half a piece of pumpkin pie
(I should have just gone to bed...I was tired)

Day totals:
cals=3,537 (over by 377)
water= 86 oz.
ex= 2/3 mile walk

Somewhat worried about weigh-in

With the exception of Sunday, I have journaled my food everyday and have been within range. Just like I did last week, when I lost 4.25 pounds. This week I have exercised to the biggest loser, which is HARD. I've had enough water to fill a small pond. I *should* be good.

So tonight is TOPS and I weigh in. I also have only THREE more days until my birthday, which I am insisting that I weigh less than 300 on. So......I'm really wanting to be down, ya get my drift?

My scales (which are very unreliable anyway) are at my sister's house. Last night I weighed on them and was UP five pounds. (see worried/confused faces above LOL) I'm hoping that it was because I was wearing different clothes, weighing on carpeted floor, just drank a ton of water, etc.

So this morning I weigh on the wii and it shows me having not lost an ounce. eerrrrr. Once again, I'm hoping it's wrong. I will know at 5:30 p.m. when I weigh on the reliable doctor's scales at TOPS. Wish me luck!

Ok........here's my yesterday...Monday 4/5/10:

9:10 a.m....652 cals
half cup bran flakes
half cup granola
1 cup 1% milk
12 almonds
one third banana
fiber plus bar

11:10....100 cals
stick cheese

1:10....558 cals
3/4 cup alfredo
half cup peas
sugar free pudding
half order fries
(I am NOT happy with what I ate at this meal.)

3:10p.m.....250 cals
mini fiber one bar
nature valley bar

5:00 p.m......300 cals
fiber one bar (regular size)
nature valley bar

6:35 p.m.....280 cals
20 almonds
granola bar

9:10 p.m.....380 cals
baked potato
1 T. margarine
2 rolls

10:15 p.m.....660 cals
2 bean burritos
sugar free pudding cup

DAY TOTALS:
cals=3,180
water= 64 oz
ex= 31 min. biggest loser on wii

I love Mondays and Omega-3 Fish oil

I love Mondays. There is just something about the start of a new week!

Nothing much to report about Sunday. We had a dinner at church...there was a lot of calorie estimating and I didn't keep a journal. I did, however, keep reminding myself that I want to be unde 300 by Friday so that motivated me to not use the lack of journaling as an excuse to pig out.

I had said I might exercise on Sunday, but I didn't. Sundays are always church, eat, nap, church for me and it is the only day of the week I can nap without feeling guilty. So, for only exercising 6 minutes on Saturday, all I can say is "I messed up". But that was last week. :) This is Monday.

I still haven't had a soda.

I bought some Omega-3 fish oil supplements that are supposed to be really good for a lot of things but I bought them for the mood stablizing element. They are to be taked 3 times a day. Yesterday was my first day. We'll see if I can tell a difference. Do any of you take these?

Thank you for reading my plain looking, pictureless post. I am limiting myself to one hour of computer time for this morning and I don't have time to dig up a pic! I want to go read all of yall's wonderful blogs!

Have a greeeeeeeaaaaaaaat week!

;) -thatTOPSlady

Sunday morning rush

It is 6:35 a.m. Have you seen me posting much this early? NO! :)

I am cooking 30something sausage biscuits for Sunday School. Yes, we are expecting that many kids.

Then I have to iron (blah), wake the kids and force them to get ready (joy) and fix my daughter's hair. I need to be out the door by 8:50 a.m.

We are eating a free lunch at the church after service. yay! no dishes! And it is spaghetti, my favorite.

So, without further ado, the following is from yesterday's journal entry:

10:30 a.m.....790 cals
1.5 cup bran flakes
half cup granola
1.5 cup 1% milk
12 almonds
1 whole banana

1:45 p.m...1,105 cals (yikes)
salad with lettce, tomato, 2 T. dressing, chicken, 1 oz. cheese
extra large strawberry smoothie (it was so good!)

4:45 p.m....100 cals
20 almonds

8:30 p.m...740 cals
2 tacos
2 sugar free puddin cups
fiber plus bar

DAY TOTALS:
cals= 2,735
water=74 ounces
exercise= 6 minutes (wow...another one in the books for poor time management. Hope to make up the rest of it today, even though I normally don't exercise on Sundays)

If you celebrate Easter, happy Easter. I celebrate the resurrection, which may or may not have happened at this time of the year. But I have no problem using this day as a day to remember that. I *DO* however have a problem with the bunnies, candy and egg hunt stuff. It has nothing to do with Jesus rising from the dead, IMO. You ask most kids to tell you what Easter is, I'd say 99% of them will forget to tell anything about Jesus. I think that is because we let the glittery commercial stuff overtake us. So, my family does none of the glittery commercial stuff. To sum it up, if you are going to celebrate the resurrection, let it be THAT...the resurrection...and not a bunch of other junk. Ok...I'll get off my soap box now ;)

Thanks for reading (and by the way, you don't have to agree with me....I'm just telling how I see it)

Nachos and cake? NO.

We went to a birtday party last night. They had nachos and cake. I dropped the kids off and showed up late on purpose thinking they would be finished eating. (well, that wasn't the only reason...I was also running errands but I *was* thinking I would miss the food by showing up late) Not so. An hour and a half into the party and they were finishing the nachos and cutting the cake. Would I like some? My gut said yes but I said no. I just sat there and drank my water. This was quite an accomplishment for me.

Yesterday I did an hour of exercise. Two 20 minute sessions on the wii fit and one 20 minute session on the wii biggest loser. Man, that biggest loser game is HARD. They had me doing jumping jacks, which took a while to recover from! I've got a lot of belly flab that jerks around when I jump! Go away flab, go away.

What I ate yesterday:
9:15 a.m......370 cals
3/4 c. bran flakes
1/4 c. granola
1 cup 1% milk
half a banana

11:20 a.m.....190 cals
mini fiber one bar
stick cheese

12:45 p.m......486 cals
6" subway sandwich (turkey and cheese)
nature valley granola bar

2:30 p.m...330 cals
1 can sliced new potatoes
1 slice american cheese
8 ounce orange juice

3:00 p.m....90 cals
mini fiber one bar

6:00 p.m....340 cals
1 slice cheese pizza
half cup corn
mini fiber one bar

11:45 p.m.....755 cals
1 cup veggie soup
1 slice bread
nature valley granola bar
strawberry smoothie

DAY TOTALS:
cals=2,561
water=80 oz
ex= 1 hour

You reap what you sow.

Wednesday night, as I have already blogged about, I lost my head and stayed up until 3:30 a.m. googling STUPID stuff on the internet. Woke up the next morning (yesterday) and had a crazy busy day. I was gone from the house from 9 a.m. until around 8 p.m. The kids had activities to go to, I ran errands for my mother and then I bought groceries at three different grocery stores. (bad timewise, great bargain wise!) Thankfully, mom babysat the kids while I was at the grocery stores.

After I got home, I ate my pie and read some blogs. (yes, pie. Hershey Sundae Pie, which I love, was on sale and I told myself all day that if I would eat reasonably all day and have enough calories left that I could have 2 pieces...which I did) Hubby said he wanted to go to walmart and buy The Biggest Loser game for the wii, to which I said "I am going nowhere, but if you want to, go ahead". After he got home and was trying out the game, I laid on the couch "to watch" and fell asleep there within minutes.

My 30 minutes of exerercise did NOT get done. :( So, I failed on one part of the spring challenge yesterday. I plan to make up for it today by doing an hour of exercise.

Something else I need to tweak about the spring challenge is this: Writing something good about myself everyday is a bit much. It is hard to come up with something AND I sound really full of myself. LOL So, I am going to change that to once per week and my "spring challenge check-in" day will probably be Tuesday because that is TOPS day and I always report on that.

Yesterday:

(keep in mind, 95% of this was eaten while on the go)

9 a.m.....140 cals
fiber one bar

10 a.m....293 cals
junior breakfast burrito from sonic

12:10 p.m.....120 cals
4 pack pb crackers

2:40 p.m....630 cals
1.5 cups bran flakes
half cup granola
half a banana
1.5 cup 1% milk (I actually ran to the house between grocery stores to fix this cereal and take it with me. I knew it would be better than driving through somewhere...plus I didn't want to eat too much UNhealthy stuff since I planned to have the very unhealthy pie before bed)

7:30 p.m.....326 cals
6" turkey sub from subway

8:30....1,085 cals
2 piece hershey sundae pie
5 almonds
1 pc. pizza (little ceasars)
fiber one 90 cal bar

TOTAL CALS= 2,594 (in range)
water= 86 ounces ( I drove through and got a 44 ounce ice water twice!)


P.S. For many years, I told myself that I would be at my goal weight before I turned 30. But 30 came and went. Then I said "before 31". etc, etc. One week from today I will turn 32. All I'm shooting for is to be less than 300 pounds. That means I need to lose 5 and a fourth pounds. I'll have to really boogie if I'm going to. Wish me luck and a solid resolve!

Staying up late.

Good grief, what was I thinking? I fell into a trap last night. No, not a food trap--- a *sleep* trap. I didn't go to bed.....until 3:30 this morning! WHAT?! I know I have a bad habit of doing that, and I thought I'd kicked that habit. I guess not. Fall down, get up again.

Yesterday was the first day that I really *wanted* a soda. I opened a canned pepsi and poured it into a glass for hubby and I really wanted a drink. But I didn't. I asked myself just what I thought all of those chemicals were going to do for me? Besides, I'm in the challenge, so nope. Just no. So, I didn't.

I also didn't want to exercise (yes, I was obviously having a rebellious kind of day!). But I did anyway.

This afternoon my sister and I will go buy groceries. We plan to buy healthy *yay* and if I can get my coupons organized before then, we plan to buy cheap *yay, yay*.

Something good: hum......oh dear, I don't have time to sit here and think. This isn't as easy as it sounds---to come up with something EVERY day. hum..... ok...here's one....I let my pastor be human. I am in a big discussion on facebook about pastors who aren't good pastors and even though at times I *completely* disagree with my pastor, and at times I get TOTALLY frustrated and almost even mad at my pastor, I am learning to let him be human. He's not going to be perfect. He's just a man. He's not God. He's gonna mess up. He's trying. Get over it. :)

Busy, busy day today and I have NOT planned my meals for today---VERY dangerous.Plus, I am going to be at town almost ALL day. I have places I need to drop the kids off at and then before I do anything else, I need to PLAN what I am going to put in my mouth.

Wednesday recap:

9 a.m.....430 cals
cereal (bran and granola) w/ 1% milk

11 a.m......220 cals
half a pb & j

1 p.m......370 cals
1 c. veggie soup
1 pc. bread
fiber one bar

5:20 p.m......410 cals
can of tuna
9 tortilla chips
stick cheese
fiber one bar

5:48 p.m....140 cals
fiber one bar

9 p.m.....811 cals
3 small pieces cheese pizza
2/3 c. corn
strawberry smoothie

TOTAL cals: 2,381
water= 44 oz

Beginning week 2 of restart

Last night I finished week 1 of my restart with a 4.25 pound loss. I weighed 305. I am SO looking forward to being under 300! Within the next 2 weeks, for sure! yay!

Spring challenge
1. I had no soda
2. I exercised. I walked 2 miles :)
3. Something good: I volunteer. Sometimes too much! Truthfully, I had what I consider a near nervous breakdown last November and I decided then that I was just doing too much volunteering. So I started saying no (some). I quit being the leader at TOPS. I quit singing at church (because I do NOT enjoy it....just felt obligated). I told the pastor NO that I would NOT be Sunday School Superintendent. I told a friend from church that NO I would not be willing to get together once a week and work on public speaking skills. But I still DO volunteer a lot. I teach Sunday School for one thing and a lot of other little things at church. And I still help a lot at TOPS. So I guess today's "good thing" is two-fold----- I volunteer AND I've learned to say no. :)

Tuesday's recap:
9:30 a.m.....570 cals
1.5 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
1.5 c. 1% milk

11:20 a.m....220 cals
half a pb&j sandwich

1:40 p.m.....850 cals
2 bacon,egg and cheese sandwiches
half a pb & j

4:15 p.m.....180 cals
2 special K bars

6:15 p.m.....420 cals
3 chex bars

8:15 p.m.....1,083 cals
1.5 c. spaghetti
1 c. corn
strawberry smoothie

TOTAL
cals=3,323 (over by 112 because I came home last night and ate without figuring up how many calories I had left... not wise! oops.)
water=84 ounces. (Did you hear that? wow!It's a wonder I didn't wet the bed. LOL)

I lost 4.25 pounds this week!

I know I am blogging in the mornings, not the evenings...but I HAD to stop by and say "Yay! I lost 4.25 pounds this week!" I was the best loser at TOPS this week. :) Happy happy. Thanks for listening. :) See ya in the morning!

Tonight is TOPS and I am so excited to weigh in because *I* know I have done well. Despite some others who think I am not.... *I* know *me* and I know that although this week was not perfect to their standards, I know it was an improvement for me. I think some people see my consumption as "bad" because, compared to where *they* are, they would gain with it. Anyway, we are all at a different place from each other and I am not allowing anyone to steal my success :) So, tonight is weigh-in and I will hopefully post a pretty good loss on tomorrow's blog. Feeling happy about it already!

Spring Challenge update for Monday:
1. exercise.......30 minutes on wii
2. soda..........none
3. Something good about myself: I love my husband and show him respect.

Monday 3/29/10:

8:40 a.m.....490 cals
half a banana
half cup granola
3/4 c. bran flakes
1 c. 1% milk

11:00.....240 cals
1 stick cheese
1 fiber one bar

1:00......444 cals
salad w/ 2 T dressing, chicken, tomato, cheese, and 13 almonds

3:30.......330 cals
1 c. hot cocoa
half a pb&j sandwich

6:30.....1,137 cals (ouch)
3/4 c. meatloaf
2 slices ham
3/4 cup mashed potatoes
2/3 cup corn
1.5 cups green beans
1 roll
nature valley bar

8:45 p.m........160 cals
nature valley bar

MONDAY TOTALS:
2,801 cals
30 minutes exercize on wii
84 ounces water


I'm off to read the blogs of you wonderful people! Blogger is such a great community! I hope you all have a great day!

See you lighter!
that TOPS lady

Morning posting,highs and lows, and bananas.

After this post, I think I am going to start posting in the mornings instead of the evenings. I really *LOVE* to stay up all hours of the night on the internet. But really, that doesn't show much respect to my husband. I think the best time for me to blog is in the mornings after hubby goes to work and before the kids wake. Yes. So, you will see today's food intake tomorrow. :) I've been good.

The "no soda" part of my spring challenge has been a breeze thus far. Well, it has been less than a week, so I shouldn't toot my horn too loudly, but so far, so good.

Something I like about myself: I am DETERMINED that my children will get a good education. I have homeschooled them from the beginning and I really do put a lot of effort into it.

Highs and lows: You know the other day I was talking about how depressed I was? Well, today I am totally NOT. I am weird that way. I get really down and in such a rut........and then I just wake up one morning totally okay. That's not to say that it won't come back. This has happened many, many times in the past few years. Highs and lows, over and over. I am just thankful to be on the high again. At church last night I did have my pastor anoint me with oil and pray over me. He asked if it was for something in particular and I said "It is unspoken". But God knew what it was. And I'm glad. yay!

Our TOPS leader is ***(name removed). She has lost almost 100 pounds and is now a skinny little thing. Although she is not a certified nutritionist, she had really studied up and she knows what she is talking about. Several months ago, *** looked over my food journal and said "Where are your fruits?", to which I replied that the only fruit I like was apples. She said "Well, you will LEARN to like them" and she gave me a recipe for a strawberry smoothie. I forced it down. over and over. Guess what? I like them now. I also started eating half a banana with my cereal. I hated the texture and had to cut it into bites and hide it in the cereal so I wouldn't "taste" it so much. I have been doing that probably 2 months now. Last night I was wanting to have bran flakes for my snack after church but I was out of bananas and I WANTED a banana with it.........actually craved it!!!! So I asked hubby to run by the store for a banana :)

Feeling victorious today! I hope you are too!

'til tomorrow morning,

I'm that TOPS lady

Boring post. (sorry). It's just what I ate today.

7:30 a.m.....360 cals
3/4 c. bran flakes
1/2 c. granola
1.5 c. 1% milk

9:40 a.m......200 cals
stick cheese
1 T. peanut butter

12:10 p.m.....140 cals
fiber one bar

1:30 p.m...1,550 cals
half cup roast
1 potato
handful carrots
2 T margarine
ketchup
2 rolls
1 oz cheddar cheese
2 nature vally bars
1 fiber on bar

5:00 p.m.....330 cals
half pb & j sandwich
1 c. hot cocoa

9:50 p.m.....510 cals
1.5 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
1.5 c. 1%milk
half a banana

DAY TOTALS
cals= 3,090 (this is within range)
water= 44 oz.
ex=-0- (that's okay....I rest on Sundays)
no soda consumed today.

Something good about myself: I have good hair. (yes, I know that sounds superficial, but it is late, I am about to hop in bed, and.........it's true....I do have good hair. *wink*)

I have a dream.

The above pic is what I picture myself looking like at 180 pounds. I think it is realistic. I have the healthy me in my head....she is there....she is trying to get out. I have her under such bondage with all of this fat.

Spring Challenge requires that I write one good thing about myself each day. Today's entry is this: I have a dream. I KNOW what I want. I am not happy with how things are. Health and weight are included in this dream of course, but also being debt free and depression free and blood pressure pill free and doing a work for God, yada yada, so on and so forth. I have a vision...a hope...a goal...and I think that is a good thing. I have met people who are content to stay right where they are. They aren't looking forward to anything, aren't trying to achieve something. To me, that is sad. Anyway, I have always been a dreamer and I think that is a good quality.

What I ate today:

9:30 a.m....550 cals

3 scrambled eggs

3 pc. bacon (precooked oscar mayer)

2 biscuits

1 T. jelly

1 c. 2% milk

11:30 a.m.....330 cals

1 c. hot cocoa

half a pb & j

1:30 p.m..... 570 cals

3/4 c. bran flakes

1/2 c. granola

half a banana

1.5 c. 2% milk

3:30 p.m...300 cals

1 fiber one bar

1 nature valley bar

6:00 p.m.....830 cals

2 soft tacos

2/3 c. corn

approx half cup leftover rice

8:00 p.m.....300 cals

1 fiber on bar

1 nature valley bar

10:15 p.m.....385 cals

strawberry smoothie (I didn't like these at first, but now I do. I LEARNED to like them.)

DAY TOTALS=

cals= 3,265 (over limit by 54 cals....this was a total mistake because I added incorrectly)

water- 64 ounces whoo hoo!

exercise= 30 minutes on wii (4th day of exercise in a row!)

Spring Challenge and Starting Over.

Weird pic, I know. I have a habit of taking random pics of myself. I also smile at myself in the bathroom mirror, which my sister always thought was crazy. I looked at this pic and thought "that's so weird I have to post it". LOL

Ok...... so I *am* going to do the spring challenge. An awesome blogger, Loretta came up with it. You can read about it here: http://lorettasjourney.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-223-new-spring-challenge-wanna-join.html Yay! But I am NOT going to X out all desserts during the challenge like I was planning. Wise council said I'm not ready for that.

My spring challenge goals:

1. At least 30 minutes of exercise EVERY day except Sunday. No excuses.

2. No soda at all.

3. Write something postitive about myself everyday.

I have given myself "permission" to call this Week One of my journey...even though I have been working on getting healthy for over a year. I just need a fresh start. A spring cleaning for myself. :) And so.........................this is week one of my restart. I will post my weight losses on Tuesdays because that is when I have TOPS meetings......and my new week will start each Wednesday.

aaaaahhhhhh.........spring is in the air. A time of new life, new beginnings and hope.

This is going to be a great spring!

ttyl,

that TOPS lady

P.S. My sister is starting a diet on April 2nd and I am SO looking forward to getting fit together!

spring challenge? and sugar is my best enemy

Someone posted that they were doing a spring challenge. 13 weeks. Until Summer. I'm trying to decide if I want to do it or not. I know my biggest hangup-----sweets. If I do the challenge, I will challenge myself to have NO DESSERTS until Summer. But if I do that, am I just setting myself up for a fall? I have so very little resistance to sweets. I have tried just cutting back on them..but no.....it is almost all or nothing with me, it seems. Anyway, I am thinking about it. Haven't committed to anything yet.

Supper was a salad, rice a roni, corn and green beans. Should have stopped there. But then I had 2 more chocolate covered crackers and half a brownie. I went over my calorie limit by 118 cals. At least I am honest about it. I could just lie. But I didn't.

blah.

My potential reward is worth SO MUCH more than sugar! Why do I let it hold me so?

Anyway.......I'm going to pray about it and may announce it either way tomorrow. I'm going to bed now. And I am going to wake up a little better than I did today, by faith. zzz goodnight and thanks for reading.

until tomorrow,

I'm that TOPS lady

I sputtered but I didn't crash.

7:30 a.m..... 490 cals

.75 c. bran flakes

.25 c. granola

1 c. 2% milk

half a banana

12 almonds



10:20 a.m.....394 cals

1/3 c. baked beans

2/3 c. corn

12 almonds

1 stick cheese



noon.....1,000

Cooked chocolate covered pb crackers and brownies for my new neighbors and my nieces who are in the hospital. I didn't actually sit down and eat any.......but........I ate while I cooked. 1,000 is probably a bit high of an estimate, but I don't know, maybe not. SHAME.



4:00....300 cals

24 almonds

1 stick cheese



5:00 p.m......200 cals

1 glazed donut. Just when I was feeling stupid for eating the sweets, hubby came home with a box of leftover donuts from work. What was he thinking? My willpower is puney when it comes to sweets. I need to remove it ALL from the house and forbid any from entering.



Someone left a comment asking where my fruits and veggies were yesterday. I know I didn't eat many veggies, but I did have some. I had corn and baked beans and the veggies from my burger. I know that is not awesome, but I am not there yet. I am trying!



I think I will have a big salad for supper tonight.



I plan to spend some time googling "natural anti-depressants". If I don't come up with something by the middle of next month, I may go back on the anti-depressant. Although I'd rather not. But I need to get out of this rut.

Food Journal for Thurs. 3/25/10

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the comments. It helps so much to know I am read. Yes, I probably am depressed. A couple of years ago I took prozac for 6 months. I should probably go back on it. But I hate to. I am giving it some thought.

9:20 a.m.....170 cals

half a pb & j

10:50 a.m.....270 cals

3 special K bars

12:00....290 cals

whopper jr with NO mayo

2:00 p.m. (felt out of control)....1,020 cals

nutty bar

1 c. ice cream

extra large brownie

6:00 p.m.....200 cals

stick cheese

1 T peanut butter

8:40 p.m....572 cals

just over 1/3 cup corn

1 roll

2/3 c. baked beans

1 baked pork chop

DAY TOTALS:

cals= 2,522 (within budget)

water= 56 oz

ex- 30 min on wii fit (burned 247 cals)

PLEASE GIVE ADVICE! : blah, bad choices and restart

I am feeling VERY tired and I don't know why. My to-do list hasn't gotten completed in weeks. The house is a disaster. Messy house adds to my blah and tired feeling. I just don't seem to have enough time. So I think "Get up early and get more done" but how can I do that?....I am so tired already that I am being a bad wife. I crash in bed like a dead woman and DARE my hubby to snuggle..... Don't touch me. I'm tired. Blah.

How do I break this???

So I've had a busy morning taking the kids to their various activities, buying groceries, paying bills. I told myself I could sit at the computer and read blogs and snack for one hour. The snack thing shouldn't have happened!!!!! When I am so tired, I feel deprived and like I deserve a treat....so.........I just ate brownies and ice cream and I feel like an idiot for trying so hard and then doing something like that. I am journalling it though and I will count it on today's cals. so, you will see it when I post my journal (either tonight or in the morning).

I stumbled upon a new blog today and I look forward to reading her archives when I have the time. (time???? where are you????) Her blog had a RESTART date. I have been blogging a year now. I am only 13 pounds lighter. (hey....but I'll take it!) I almost want to call this "week one" and declare a restart. I guess I am looking for permission to do that. LOL

Ok............so, I need help. HOW do I get back on track????? I want to be a good wife and mother and I want to have a clean house and to have energy. PLEASE comment me. It helps so much to know that someone is reading.

P.S. The above pic was taken 5 minutes ago. Notice the unmade bed in the background. blah.

THANK YOU in advance!!!!!!!!!!

:) that TOPS lady

Wednesday 3/24/10

2:30 a.m.....150 cals

fiber one oat & pb bar

10:10 a.m.....660 cals

1.5 c. 2% milk

1.5 c. bran flakes

.5 c. granola

half a banana

1:07 p.m.....644 cals

1 can sliced new potatoes

1 slice cheese

1 homemade cheeseburger made with lean beef and half a bun

3:12....140 cals

kashi almond bar

4:08 p.m......235 cals

stick cheese

2 pretzels

4 pb crackers

5 p.m. ...50 cals

2 slices ham

10:20 p.m.....880 cals

reeses

2 pc. cheese pizza

.25 c. cheese soup

9 corn chips

2/3 c. corn

11:17 p.m.....300 cals

3 chocolate covered pb crackers

DAY TOTALS=

3,059 cals

61 oz water

30 minutes on the wii

I feel so drained tonight. I'm frustrated that I can't accomplish everything that's on my to-do list.

I need to quit eating crap.

That was the topic at TOPS tonight. QUIT EATING CRAP! (I don't even say that word, so I feel odd writing it, but anyway)

C= Caffine

R= Refined Sugar

A= Artificial Sweeteners

P= Processed foods

Yes, I eat too much crap.

Weight at TOPS tonight= 309.25....so 3.75 pound GAIN in two crazy, stressful weeks.

Calories this week should be 2,100-3,211.

This evening after TOPS, I realized two things.

#1 The weather is beautiful and it is time for me to become friends again with the walking trail.

#2 I do too much junk for other people. The four hours mom has the kids every Tuesday is MY time and I will no longer spend it trying to please other people happy, but spend it improving my health.

Here's a copy of today's journal entry:

Wake time: 9:50 a.m. (spent 6 hrs, 45 min in bed)

woke with headache

11 a.m. breakfast... 540 cals
egg & cheese burrito

fiber one mocha bar

(1:30 p.m. I am feeling weak, tired and shaky. bp is 123/78 and pulse is 60. That's not bad)

3:30 p.m. lunch... 835 cals

6" subway sub (turkey, honey oat bread, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard)

1 pkg. regular m&m's

1 pkg. peanut butter m&m's

(4:00 p.m. feeling great)

6:57-7:36 p.m.... walked 1.3 miles at the trail. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I needed the quiet and alone time and the sun was setting. wonderful.

7:30 p.m. supper...530 cals

6" subway sub

cookie from subway

8:45 p.m......240 cals

kashi almond bar

stick cheese

Day total calories........2, 145

water.....54 oz.

Wednesday.

10:30 a.m. breakfast 490 cals
vanilla sugar free pudding cup
1 cup dry cheerios
1 stick cheese
1 pc. toast
1 granola bar


2:10 p.m. 500 cals
chicken fried steak pattie (precooked)
.75 c. green beans
vanilla pudding cup-sugar free
4 vanilla wafers



6:05 p.m. supper 830 cals
2 egg & cheese burritos
1 kashi bar


10:30 p.m. 460 cals
fresco soft taco from taco bell
1 kashi bar (almond)
1 fiber one bar (choc)

2 glasses sweet tea= 70 cals

DAY TOTAL:
cals= 2,350 cals
water= approx. 55 oz
ex=-0-

Stomach virus.

Tuesday.

I started with a healthy breakfast and snack. I don't even remember what it was but I know that as of noon I was at 550 calories.

Then I got sick with stomach issues and fever.

I didn't eat anything else until late that night when I had toast, cheese and granola. I slept 14 hours and the next day I was feeling better, just weak.

I drank approx 20 oz of water and a 44 oz diet sprite.

blah.

Monday. 3/8/10

9:50 a.m. breakfast 625 cals
kashi mocha bar
.75 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
1 c. 1% milk
10 almonds
1 stick cheese

12:25 lunch 620 cals
1 can veggie soup
10 crackers
1 apple
1 pc. toast w/ cheese melted on top
1 chocolate fiber one bar

1:30 p.m. snack 270 cals
1 choc. fiber one bar
1 kashi mocha bar

5 p.m. snack 280 cals
2 granola bars

8:00 p.m. 1,275 cals
half cup roast
5 baby carrots
1 pc. bread
.75 c. mac & cheese
1 cob corn with 2 T margarine
.75 c green beans
ketchup
6 pkts. sixlets candy
5 almonds

11:00 junk 460 cals
corn dog
.75 c. ice cream
sugar free pudding cup

DAY TOTALS=
cals= 3.530
water= 38 oz
ex= 17 min on wii (burned 130 cals)

Saturday & Sunday, March 6th and 7th

Saturday.

10:30 a.m. breakfast 538 cals
1 c. lasagna
.75 c. green beans
kashi almond bar

11:00 snack 130 cals
kashi mocha bar

2:00 p.m. lunch 710 cals
1 kashi cookie
1.5 c. 1% milk
.5 c. bran flakes
.25 c. granola
21 almonds
half banana

3p.m.-6p.m. junk 770 cals
approx. 7 sugar cookies

6:30 p.m. snack 125 cals
1 slice turkey
1 stick cheese

11:00 p.m. supper 1,350 cals
1 KFC breast with skin
.5 c. mashed potatoes
.5 c. baked beans
1 roll
.5 c. shells and cheese
1 c. ice cream
1 sugar cookie

DAY TOTALS
cals= 3,626
water= 40 oz
ex= -0-



Sunday........

I was so tired. Made poor choices. Didn't journal. :(

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Here's 3 day's of food journal in one. I have been SO busy! (still am)
Btw, Jo, thank you for your comment about eating less carbs. I will keep that in mind. For some reason I don't think your comments is showing up now and I don't know why.... but I did read it and I appreciate all the help I can get! Thanks for reading!

Wednesday:
11:30 a.m. "breakfast" 760 cals
1 kashi bar (mocha)
1.5 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
half banana
1.5 c. 1% milk

2:40 p.m. "lunch" 562 cals
7 almonds
1 lean pocket
1 stick cheese
4 oz OJ
1 vanilla sugar free pudding cup

4:15 snack 130 cals
1 kashi cookie

5:15 snack 150 cals
1 fiber one bar (oat & pb)

6:30 snack 240 cals
stick cheese
1 fiber one bar (chocolate)

10:10 p.m. supper 1,148 cals
.75 cup pasta roni
2 rolls
.75 cup baked beans
2 slices hershey sundae pie

DAY TOTALS:
cals= 2,990
water= 51 oz
ex=-0-


************

Thursday

12 noon "breakfast" 485 cals
1 can tuna
1 boiled egg
1 T light miracle whip
8 pickle slices
1 pc. toast
medium apple
stick cheese
sugar free pudding cup

12:30 junk 220 cals
donut from mom

1:10 p.m. snack 270 cals
fiber one bar
kashi bar (mocha)

4:30 p.m. snack 450 cals
1 kashi cookie
1 stick cheese
21 almonds
2 slices turkey

6:50 p.m. supper 648 cals
1 pc. garlic toast
1 c. green beans
1 c. lasagna

10 p.m. junk 100 cals
licked the spoon while frosting sister's wedding cake

DAY TOTALS:
cals= 2,173 cals
water = 40 ox
ex= -0-


***************
Friday

My sister got married.

I was stressed/super busy.

Didn't journal.

Tuesday. Best day in a while.

Busy, busy, busy, busy too busy.

11:00 "breakfast" 370 cals
1 stick cheese
1 south beach bar
24 almonds

1:30 lunch 400 cals
McDonald's cone
McDonald's small burger

3:00 snack 369 cals
12 almonds
1 pc. choc candy
half pb & j

4:50 snack 250 cals
king size nature valley bar

6:30 supper 690 cals
salad
1 c. chili

11:45 junk 180 cals
sugar cookie from mom's house

DAY CALORIES=2,159
WATER= 74 oz :)
EX= -0-


My weight tonight at TOPS was 306.5, which is only down ONE pounds from 7 months ago when I last posted my weight on this blog. How aggravated I am at myself for all the yo-yoing I've done these past 7 months.

Calorie range this week should be 2,100-3,178.

Monday Food Diary. (Reminder to self: Stay away from buffet!)

I stayed on the computer til 2 a.m. last night (not wise) so I slept in til 9:30 this morning & then I hit the ground running because I had appointments starting at 11:45 and I didn't even have clothes ready for anyone to put on. So.........I didn't eat anything until noon. (another not wise) I plan to be in bed by 11 p.m. tonight and hope to be more organized for my day tomorrow.

12 noon "breakfast" 652 cals
1 cup spaghetti
1/2 c. corn
south beach bar
stick cheese

1:15 "snack" 270 cals
24 almonds
1 stick cheese

6 p.m. "lunch/supper combo" 2,347 cals (HORRID)
@ Cici's Pizza
tiny salad w/ light dressing
6 pc. bbq pizza (didn't eat the edges)
1 c. noodles & tomoto sauce
2 breadsticks
3 cinnamon rolls
2 brownies


DAY CALORIES= 3,269
WATER= 68 oz
EXERCISE= -0- (I want to throw in an excuse here and tell you that we didn't get home until almost bedtime and there was no time or energy for exercise. But I know that is an excuse. I could have got out of bed earlier and made it a priority.)
What a bad example to my kids............letting them see me eat that much......and especially that much sugar! *sigh*

Not happy with my decisions. I can't change it though. All I can do is let tomorrow be better. Here's to a better tomorrow.

Kind of crummy Sunday.

I didn't just pig out on Sunday but I also didn't measure anything and so I don't know where I ended up with my calories. It started because we were eating nachos at the church for lunch and I was clueless about the calories. After that, I just ate. Hopefully I didn't do too much damage. We will see Tuesday evening at weigh in. Regardless, here's what I ate on Sunday. All sizes are approximate. Water intake= only 18 oz. :(

6 a.m.
1.5 c. 1% milk
1.75 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola

10:30
6 almonds
bit of cheese

12:30 @ church
1 bowl nachos
2 cookies
small brownie
sliver of cake

5:15 p.m.
2 granola bars

7:45 p.m. @ church
2 donuts leftover from sunday school (shame)

10:30 p.m. (everything I tasted, I thought, "nah, that's not what I want")
half a bowl of spaghetti
half a bowl of rice krispies
1 c. milk
pb & j sandwich
12 almonds


Busy day today.
No Sunday nap.
Tired..................again.

Monday will be busy too. I can't let that be an excuse. Plan, Amy! plan! You *know* what you should do. So, do it.