Beginning week 2 of restart

Last night I finished week 1 of my restart with a 4.25 pound loss. I weighed 305. I am SO looking forward to being under 300! Within the next 2 weeks, for sure! yay!

Spring challenge
1. I had no soda
2. I exercised. I walked 2 miles :)
3. Something good: I volunteer. Sometimes too much! Truthfully, I had what I consider a near nervous breakdown last November and I decided then that I was just doing too much volunteering. So I started saying no (some). I quit being the leader at TOPS. I quit singing at church (because I do NOT enjoy it....just felt obligated). I told the pastor NO that I would NOT be Sunday School Superintendent. I told a friend from church that NO I would not be willing to get together once a week and work on public speaking skills. But I still DO volunteer a lot. I teach Sunday School for one thing and a lot of other little things at church. And I still help a lot at TOPS. So I guess today's "good thing" is two-fold----- I volunteer AND I've learned to say no. :)

Tuesday's recap:
9:30 a.m.....570 cals
1.5 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
1.5 c. 1% milk

11:20 a.m....220 cals
half a pb&j sandwich

1:40 p.m.....850 cals
2 bacon,egg and cheese sandwiches
half a pb & j

4:15 p.m.....180 cals
2 special K bars

6:15 p.m.....420 cals
3 chex bars

8:15 p.m.....1,083 cals
1.5 c. spaghetti
1 c. corn
strawberry smoothie

TOTAL
cals=3,323 (over by 112 because I came home last night and ate without figuring up how many calories I had left... not wise! oops.)
water=84 ounces. (Did you hear that? wow!It's a wonder I didn't wet the bed. LOL)

I lost 4.25 pounds this week!

I know I am blogging in the mornings, not the evenings...but I HAD to stop by and say "Yay! I lost 4.25 pounds this week!" I was the best loser at TOPS this week. :) Happy happy. Thanks for listening. :) See ya in the morning!

Tonight is TOPS and I am so excited to weigh in because *I* know I have done well. Despite some others who think I am not.... *I* know *me* and I know that although this week was not perfect to their standards, I know it was an improvement for me. I think some people see my consumption as "bad" because, compared to where *they* are, they would gain with it. Anyway, we are all at a different place from each other and I am not allowing anyone to steal my success :) So, tonight is weigh-in and I will hopefully post a pretty good loss on tomorrow's blog. Feeling happy about it already!

Spring Challenge update for Monday:
1. exercise.......30 minutes on wii
2. soda..........none
3. Something good about myself: I love my husband and show him respect.

Monday 3/29/10:

8:40 a.m.....490 cals
half a banana
half cup granola
3/4 c. bran flakes
1 c. 1% milk

11:00.....240 cals
1 stick cheese
1 fiber one bar

1:00......444 cals
salad w/ 2 T dressing, chicken, tomato, cheese, and 13 almonds

3:30.......330 cals
1 c. hot cocoa
half a pb&j sandwich

6:30.....1,137 cals (ouch)
3/4 c. meatloaf
2 slices ham
3/4 cup mashed potatoes
2/3 cup corn
1.5 cups green beans
1 roll
nature valley bar

8:45 p.m........160 cals
nature valley bar

MONDAY TOTALS:
2,801 cals
30 minutes exercize on wii
84 ounces water


I'm off to read the blogs of you wonderful people! Blogger is such a great community! I hope you all have a great day!

See you lighter!
that TOPS lady

Morning posting,highs and lows, and bananas.

After this post, I think I am going to start posting in the mornings instead of the evenings. I really *LOVE* to stay up all hours of the night on the internet. But really, that doesn't show much respect to my husband. I think the best time for me to blog is in the mornings after hubby goes to work and before the kids wake. Yes. So, you will see today's food intake tomorrow. :) I've been good.

The "no soda" part of my spring challenge has been a breeze thus far. Well, it has been less than a week, so I shouldn't toot my horn too loudly, but so far, so good.

Something I like about myself: I am DETERMINED that my children will get a good education. I have homeschooled them from the beginning and I really do put a lot of effort into it.

Highs and lows: You know the other day I was talking about how depressed I was? Well, today I am totally NOT. I am weird that way. I get really down and in such a rut........and then I just wake up one morning totally okay. That's not to say that it won't come back. This has happened many, many times in the past few years. Highs and lows, over and over. I am just thankful to be on the high again. At church last night I did have my pastor anoint me with oil and pray over me. He asked if it was for something in particular and I said "It is unspoken". But God knew what it was. And I'm glad. yay!

Our TOPS leader is ***(name removed). She has lost almost 100 pounds and is now a skinny little thing. Although she is not a certified nutritionist, she had really studied up and she knows what she is talking about. Several months ago, *** looked over my food journal and said "Where are your fruits?", to which I replied that the only fruit I like was apples. She said "Well, you will LEARN to like them" and she gave me a recipe for a strawberry smoothie. I forced it down. over and over. Guess what? I like them now. I also started eating half a banana with my cereal. I hated the texture and had to cut it into bites and hide it in the cereal so I wouldn't "taste" it so much. I have been doing that probably 2 months now. Last night I was wanting to have bran flakes for my snack after church but I was out of bananas and I WANTED a banana with it.........actually craved it!!!! So I asked hubby to run by the store for a banana :)

Feeling victorious today! I hope you are too!

'til tomorrow morning,

I'm that TOPS lady

Boring post. (sorry). It's just what I ate today.

7:30 a.m.....360 cals
3/4 c. bran flakes
1/2 c. granola
1.5 c. 1% milk

9:40 a.m......200 cals
stick cheese
1 T. peanut butter

12:10 p.m.....140 cals
fiber one bar

1:30 p.m...1,550 cals
half cup roast
1 potato
handful carrots
2 T margarine
ketchup
2 rolls
1 oz cheddar cheese
2 nature vally bars
1 fiber on bar

5:00 p.m.....330 cals
half pb & j sandwich
1 c. hot cocoa

9:50 p.m.....510 cals
1.5 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
1.5 c. 1%milk
half a banana

DAY TOTALS
cals= 3,090 (this is within range)
water= 44 oz.
ex=-0- (that's okay....I rest on Sundays)
no soda consumed today.

Something good about myself: I have good hair. (yes, I know that sounds superficial, but it is late, I am about to hop in bed, and.........it's true....I do have good hair. *wink*)

I have a dream.

The above pic is what I picture myself looking like at 180 pounds. I think it is realistic. I have the healthy me in my head....she is there....she is trying to get out. I have her under such bondage with all of this fat.

Spring Challenge requires that I write one good thing about myself each day. Today's entry is this: I have a dream. I KNOW what I want. I am not happy with how things are. Health and weight are included in this dream of course, but also being debt free and depression free and blood pressure pill free and doing a work for God, yada yada, so on and so forth. I have a vision...a hope...a goal...and I think that is a good thing. I have met people who are content to stay right where they are. They aren't looking forward to anything, aren't trying to achieve something. To me, that is sad. Anyway, I have always been a dreamer and I think that is a good quality.

What I ate today:

9:30 a.m....550 cals

3 scrambled eggs

3 pc. bacon (precooked oscar mayer)

2 biscuits

1 T. jelly

1 c. 2% milk

11:30 a.m.....330 cals

1 c. hot cocoa

half a pb & j

1:30 p.m..... 570 cals

3/4 c. bran flakes

1/2 c. granola

half a banana

1.5 c. 2% milk

3:30 p.m...300 cals

1 fiber one bar

1 nature valley bar

6:00 p.m.....830 cals

2 soft tacos

2/3 c. corn

approx half cup leftover rice

8:00 p.m.....300 cals

1 fiber on bar

1 nature valley bar

10:15 p.m.....385 cals

strawberry smoothie (I didn't like these at first, but now I do. I LEARNED to like them.)

DAY TOTALS=

cals= 3,265 (over limit by 54 cals....this was a total mistake because I added incorrectly)

water- 64 ounces whoo hoo!

exercise= 30 minutes on wii (4th day of exercise in a row!)

Spring Challenge and Starting Over.

Weird pic, I know. I have a habit of taking random pics of myself. I also smile at myself in the bathroom mirror, which my sister always thought was crazy. I looked at this pic and thought "that's so weird I have to post it". LOL

Ok...... so I *am* going to do the spring challenge. An awesome blogger, Loretta came up with it. You can read about it here: http://lorettasjourney.blogspot.com/2010/03/day-223-new-spring-challenge-wanna-join.html Yay! But I am NOT going to X out all desserts during the challenge like I was planning. Wise council said I'm not ready for that.

My spring challenge goals:

1. At least 30 minutes of exercise EVERY day except Sunday. No excuses.

2. No soda at all.

3. Write something postitive about myself everyday.

I have given myself "permission" to call this Week One of my journey...even though I have been working on getting healthy for over a year. I just need a fresh start. A spring cleaning for myself. :) And so.........................this is week one of my restart. I will post my weight losses on Tuesdays because that is when I have TOPS meetings......and my new week will start each Wednesday.

aaaaahhhhhh.........spring is in the air. A time of new life, new beginnings and hope.

This is going to be a great spring!

ttyl,

that TOPS lady

P.S. My sister is starting a diet on April 2nd and I am SO looking forward to getting fit together!

spring challenge? and sugar is my best enemy

Someone posted that they were doing a spring challenge. 13 weeks. Until Summer. I'm trying to decide if I want to do it or not. I know my biggest hangup-----sweets. If I do the challenge, I will challenge myself to have NO DESSERTS until Summer. But if I do that, am I just setting myself up for a fall? I have so very little resistance to sweets. I have tried just cutting back on them..but no.....it is almost all or nothing with me, it seems. Anyway, I am thinking about it. Haven't committed to anything yet.

Supper was a salad, rice a roni, corn and green beans. Should have stopped there. But then I had 2 more chocolate covered crackers and half a brownie. I went over my calorie limit by 118 cals. At least I am honest about it. I could just lie. But I didn't.

blah.

My potential reward is worth SO MUCH more than sugar! Why do I let it hold me so?

Anyway.......I'm going to pray about it and may announce it either way tomorrow. I'm going to bed now. And I am going to wake up a little better than I did today, by faith. zzz goodnight and thanks for reading.

until tomorrow,

I'm that TOPS lady

I sputtered but I didn't crash.

7:30 a.m..... 490 cals

.75 c. bran flakes

.25 c. granola

1 c. 2% milk

half a banana

12 almonds



10:20 a.m.....394 cals

1/3 c. baked beans

2/3 c. corn

12 almonds

1 stick cheese



noon.....1,000

Cooked chocolate covered pb crackers and brownies for my new neighbors and my nieces who are in the hospital. I didn't actually sit down and eat any.......but........I ate while I cooked. 1,000 is probably a bit high of an estimate, but I don't know, maybe not. SHAME.



4:00....300 cals

24 almonds

1 stick cheese



5:00 p.m......200 cals

1 glazed donut. Just when I was feeling stupid for eating the sweets, hubby came home with a box of leftover donuts from work. What was he thinking? My willpower is puney when it comes to sweets. I need to remove it ALL from the house and forbid any from entering.



Someone left a comment asking where my fruits and veggies were yesterday. I know I didn't eat many veggies, but I did have some. I had corn and baked beans and the veggies from my burger. I know that is not awesome, but I am not there yet. I am trying!



I think I will have a big salad for supper tonight.



I plan to spend some time googling "natural anti-depressants". If I don't come up with something by the middle of next month, I may go back on the anti-depressant. Although I'd rather not. But I need to get out of this rut.

Food Journal for Thurs. 3/25/10

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the comments. It helps so much to know I am read. Yes, I probably am depressed. A couple of years ago I took prozac for 6 months. I should probably go back on it. But I hate to. I am giving it some thought.

9:20 a.m.....170 cals

half a pb & j

10:50 a.m.....270 cals

3 special K bars

12:00....290 cals

whopper jr with NO mayo

2:00 p.m. (felt out of control)....1,020 cals

nutty bar

1 c. ice cream

extra large brownie

6:00 p.m.....200 cals

stick cheese

1 T peanut butter

8:40 p.m....572 cals

just over 1/3 cup corn

1 roll

2/3 c. baked beans

1 baked pork chop

DAY TOTALS:

cals= 2,522 (within budget)

water= 56 oz

ex- 30 min on wii fit (burned 247 cals)

PLEASE GIVE ADVICE! : blah, bad choices and restart

I am feeling VERY tired and I don't know why. My to-do list hasn't gotten completed in weeks. The house is a disaster. Messy house adds to my blah and tired feeling. I just don't seem to have enough time. So I think "Get up early and get more done" but how can I do that?....I am so tired already that I am being a bad wife. I crash in bed like a dead woman and DARE my hubby to snuggle..... Don't touch me. I'm tired. Blah.

How do I break this???

So I've had a busy morning taking the kids to their various activities, buying groceries, paying bills. I told myself I could sit at the computer and read blogs and snack for one hour. The snack thing shouldn't have happened!!!!! When I am so tired, I feel deprived and like I deserve a treat....so.........I just ate brownies and ice cream and I feel like an idiot for trying so hard and then doing something like that. I am journalling it though and I will count it on today's cals. so, you will see it when I post my journal (either tonight or in the morning).

I stumbled upon a new blog today and I look forward to reading her archives when I have the time. (time???? where are you????) Her blog had a RESTART date. I have been blogging a year now. I am only 13 pounds lighter. (hey....but I'll take it!) I almost want to call this "week one" and declare a restart. I guess I am looking for permission to do that. LOL

Ok............so, I need help. HOW do I get back on track????? I want to be a good wife and mother and I want to have a clean house and to have energy. PLEASE comment me. It helps so much to know that someone is reading.

P.S. The above pic was taken 5 minutes ago. Notice the unmade bed in the background. blah.

THANK YOU in advance!!!!!!!!!!

:) that TOPS lady

Wednesday 3/24/10

2:30 a.m.....150 cals

fiber one oat & pb bar

10:10 a.m.....660 cals

1.5 c. 2% milk

1.5 c. bran flakes

.5 c. granola

half a banana

1:07 p.m.....644 cals

1 can sliced new potatoes

1 slice cheese

1 homemade cheeseburger made with lean beef and half a bun

3:12....140 cals

kashi almond bar

4:08 p.m......235 cals

stick cheese

2 pretzels

4 pb crackers

5 p.m. ...50 cals

2 slices ham

10:20 p.m.....880 cals

reeses

2 pc. cheese pizza

.25 c. cheese soup

9 corn chips

2/3 c. corn

11:17 p.m.....300 cals

3 chocolate covered pb crackers

DAY TOTALS=

3,059 cals

61 oz water

30 minutes on the wii

I feel so drained tonight. I'm frustrated that I can't accomplish everything that's on my to-do list.

I need to quit eating crap.

That was the topic at TOPS tonight. QUIT EATING CRAP! (I don't even say that word, so I feel odd writing it, but anyway)

C= Caffine

R= Refined Sugar

A= Artificial Sweeteners

P= Processed foods

Yes, I eat too much crap.

Weight at TOPS tonight= 309.25....so 3.75 pound GAIN in two crazy, stressful weeks.

Calories this week should be 2,100-3,211.

This evening after TOPS, I realized two things.

#1 The weather is beautiful and it is time for me to become friends again with the walking trail.

#2 I do too much junk for other people. The four hours mom has the kids every Tuesday is MY time and I will no longer spend it trying to please other people happy, but spend it improving my health.

Here's a copy of today's journal entry:

Wake time: 9:50 a.m. (spent 6 hrs, 45 min in bed)

woke with headache

11 a.m. breakfast... 540 cals
egg & cheese burrito

fiber one mocha bar

(1:30 p.m. I am feeling weak, tired and shaky. bp is 123/78 and pulse is 60. That's not bad)

3:30 p.m. lunch... 835 cals

6" subway sub (turkey, honey oat bread, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard)

1 pkg. regular m&m's

1 pkg. peanut butter m&m's

(4:00 p.m. feeling great)

6:57-7:36 p.m.... walked 1.3 miles at the trail. Loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I needed the quiet and alone time and the sun was setting. wonderful.

7:30 p.m. supper...530 cals

6" subway sub

cookie from subway

8:45 p.m......240 cals

kashi almond bar

stick cheese

Day total calories........2, 145

water.....54 oz.

Wednesday.

10:30 a.m. breakfast 490 cals
vanilla sugar free pudding cup
1 cup dry cheerios
1 stick cheese
1 pc. toast
1 granola bar


2:10 p.m. 500 cals
chicken fried steak pattie (precooked)
.75 c. green beans
vanilla pudding cup-sugar free
4 vanilla wafers



6:05 p.m. supper 830 cals
2 egg & cheese burritos
1 kashi bar


10:30 p.m. 460 cals
fresco soft taco from taco bell
1 kashi bar (almond)
1 fiber one bar (choc)

2 glasses sweet tea= 70 cals

DAY TOTAL:
cals= 2,350 cals
water= approx. 55 oz
ex=-0-

Stomach virus.

Tuesday.

I started with a healthy breakfast and snack. I don't even remember what it was but I know that as of noon I was at 550 calories.

Then I got sick with stomach issues and fever.

I didn't eat anything else until late that night when I had toast, cheese and granola. I slept 14 hours and the next day I was feeling better, just weak.

I drank approx 20 oz of water and a 44 oz diet sprite.

blah.

Monday. 3/8/10

9:50 a.m. breakfast 625 cals
kashi mocha bar
.75 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
1 c. 1% milk
10 almonds
1 stick cheese

12:25 lunch 620 cals
1 can veggie soup
10 crackers
1 apple
1 pc. toast w/ cheese melted on top
1 chocolate fiber one bar

1:30 p.m. snack 270 cals
1 choc. fiber one bar
1 kashi mocha bar

5 p.m. snack 280 cals
2 granola bars

8:00 p.m. 1,275 cals
half cup roast
5 baby carrots
1 pc. bread
.75 c. mac & cheese
1 cob corn with 2 T margarine
.75 c green beans
ketchup
6 pkts. sixlets candy
5 almonds

11:00 junk 460 cals
corn dog
.75 c. ice cream
sugar free pudding cup

DAY TOTALS=
cals= 3.530
water= 38 oz
ex= 17 min on wii (burned 130 cals)

Saturday & Sunday, March 6th and 7th

Saturday.

10:30 a.m. breakfast 538 cals
1 c. lasagna
.75 c. green beans
kashi almond bar

11:00 snack 130 cals
kashi mocha bar

2:00 p.m. lunch 710 cals
1 kashi cookie
1.5 c. 1% milk
.5 c. bran flakes
.25 c. granola
21 almonds
half banana

3p.m.-6p.m. junk 770 cals
approx. 7 sugar cookies

6:30 p.m. snack 125 cals
1 slice turkey
1 stick cheese

11:00 p.m. supper 1,350 cals
1 KFC breast with skin
.5 c. mashed potatoes
.5 c. baked beans
1 roll
.5 c. shells and cheese
1 c. ice cream
1 sugar cookie

DAY TOTALS
cals= 3,626
water= 40 oz
ex= -0-



Sunday........

I was so tired. Made poor choices. Didn't journal. :(

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

Here's 3 day's of food journal in one. I have been SO busy! (still am)
Btw, Jo, thank you for your comment about eating less carbs. I will keep that in mind. For some reason I don't think your comments is showing up now and I don't know why.... but I did read it and I appreciate all the help I can get! Thanks for reading!

Wednesday:
11:30 a.m. "breakfast" 760 cals
1 kashi bar (mocha)
1.5 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola
half banana
1.5 c. 1% milk

2:40 p.m. "lunch" 562 cals
7 almonds
1 lean pocket
1 stick cheese
4 oz OJ
1 vanilla sugar free pudding cup

4:15 snack 130 cals
1 kashi cookie

5:15 snack 150 cals
1 fiber one bar (oat & pb)

6:30 snack 240 cals
stick cheese
1 fiber one bar (chocolate)

10:10 p.m. supper 1,148 cals
.75 cup pasta roni
2 rolls
.75 cup baked beans
2 slices hershey sundae pie

DAY TOTALS:
cals= 2,990
water= 51 oz
ex=-0-


************

Thursday

12 noon "breakfast" 485 cals
1 can tuna
1 boiled egg
1 T light miracle whip
8 pickle slices
1 pc. toast
medium apple
stick cheese
sugar free pudding cup

12:30 junk 220 cals
donut from mom

1:10 p.m. snack 270 cals
fiber one bar
kashi bar (mocha)

4:30 p.m. snack 450 cals
1 kashi cookie
1 stick cheese
21 almonds
2 slices turkey

6:50 p.m. supper 648 cals
1 pc. garlic toast
1 c. green beans
1 c. lasagna

10 p.m. junk 100 cals
licked the spoon while frosting sister's wedding cake

DAY TOTALS:
cals= 2,173 cals
water = 40 ox
ex= -0-


***************
Friday

My sister got married.

I was stressed/super busy.

Didn't journal.

Tuesday. Best day in a while.

Busy, busy, busy, busy too busy.

11:00 "breakfast" 370 cals
1 stick cheese
1 south beach bar
24 almonds

1:30 lunch 400 cals
McDonald's cone
McDonald's small burger

3:00 snack 369 cals
12 almonds
1 pc. choc candy
half pb & j

4:50 snack 250 cals
king size nature valley bar

6:30 supper 690 cals
salad
1 c. chili

11:45 junk 180 cals
sugar cookie from mom's house

DAY CALORIES=2,159
WATER= 74 oz :)
EX= -0-


My weight tonight at TOPS was 306.5, which is only down ONE pounds from 7 months ago when I last posted my weight on this blog. How aggravated I am at myself for all the yo-yoing I've done these past 7 months.

Calorie range this week should be 2,100-3,178.

Monday Food Diary. (Reminder to self: Stay away from buffet!)

I stayed on the computer til 2 a.m. last night (not wise) so I slept in til 9:30 this morning & then I hit the ground running because I had appointments starting at 11:45 and I didn't even have clothes ready for anyone to put on. So.........I didn't eat anything until noon. (another not wise) I plan to be in bed by 11 p.m. tonight and hope to be more organized for my day tomorrow.

12 noon "breakfast" 652 cals
1 cup spaghetti
1/2 c. corn
south beach bar
stick cheese

1:15 "snack" 270 cals
24 almonds
1 stick cheese

6 p.m. "lunch/supper combo" 2,347 cals (HORRID)
@ Cici's Pizza
tiny salad w/ light dressing
6 pc. bbq pizza (didn't eat the edges)
1 c. noodles & tomoto sauce
2 breadsticks
3 cinnamon rolls
2 brownies


DAY CALORIES= 3,269
WATER= 68 oz
EXERCISE= -0- (I want to throw in an excuse here and tell you that we didn't get home until almost bedtime and there was no time or energy for exercise. But I know that is an excuse. I could have got out of bed earlier and made it a priority.)
What a bad example to my kids............letting them see me eat that much......and especially that much sugar! *sigh*

Not happy with my decisions. I can't change it though. All I can do is let tomorrow be better. Here's to a better tomorrow.

Kind of crummy Sunday.

I didn't just pig out on Sunday but I also didn't measure anything and so I don't know where I ended up with my calories. It started because we were eating nachos at the church for lunch and I was clueless about the calories. After that, I just ate. Hopefully I didn't do too much damage. We will see Tuesday evening at weigh in. Regardless, here's what I ate on Sunday. All sizes are approximate. Water intake= only 18 oz. :(

6 a.m.
1.5 c. 1% milk
1.75 c. bran flakes
.5 c. granola

10:30
6 almonds
bit of cheese

12:30 @ church
1 bowl nachos
2 cookies
small brownie
sliver of cake

5:15 p.m.
2 granola bars

7:45 p.m. @ church
2 donuts leftover from sunday school (shame)

10:30 p.m. (everything I tasted, I thought, "nah, that's not what I want")
half a bowl of spaghetti
half a bowl of rice krispies
1 c. milk
pb & j sandwich
12 almonds


Busy day today.
No Sunday nap.
Tired..................again.

Monday will be busy too. I can't let that be an excuse. Plan, Amy! plan! You *know* what you should do. So, do it.