(Trust me, this is about food. Don't let the first paragraph scare you off.)
There is a story in the old testament about a man who was crazy in love with this girl he couldn't have. I think she was his step-sister or something. Verse after verse tells about how much he craved her and how lovesick he was. Until one day, he decided he WAS going to have her. He had built the experience up in his mind until he could stand it no longer. He took her, the woman he loved, and raped her...and it wasn't like he thought it would be....and after that, he hated her.
I have a similar experience with Jello No Bake Peanut Butter Dessert (and many, many others over the years, but the Jello No Bake is today's story.) I had eaten it before (I will call it JNBPBD for short LOL), like a couple of years ago and it was good. Then my mixer broke. You MUST use a mixer in the assembling of the JNBPBD. So, for a couple of years, I built it up in my mind and thought about how WONDERFUL the JNBPBD was!!! I was lusting after it!
When dad asked what I'd like for Christmas, I said I wanted a new mixer. Now, I had survived TWO YEARS without a mixer. I can't think of anything I need a mixer for besides JNBPBD.
Dad bought the mixer, I made the dessert. I ate some. I was disappointed. It wasn't like I had "remembered" it. "Remembered" aka built up some fantasy in my mind.
Maybe it was just a faulty piece. So, I tried another. Nope. Maybe one from the middle was just right. No.
I ended up eating the whole thing (over the course of two days, but still!!!) with the exception of maybe 3 servings, which my husband and daughter ate.
I felt like the man who raped his step-sister. I felt cheated. I was ashamed of what I had done. I had been lied to and the person who lied to me, was me.
Can you relate? Is it not true? Our brains make up crazy "memories" of foods from our past that were AMAZINGLY AWESOME, and yet, we can't recreate that experience.
I'm thinking the reason we can't recreate it is because it wasn't there to begin with. We are just letting ourselves lie to ourselves.
`thinking aloud
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
It's time.
When it is time, you will know it. I wrote this on a friend's facebook page recently and it is so true.
Today I want to blog about all the ways God has sent me love hugs, little nudges of encouragement that IT IS TIME to get back to the healthy lifestyle I once lived. I feel such confirmation through all these things. God really does care about my journey...because it is important to me...and He care about me.
All of the following happened within the span of a week:
*I won an essay contest about my weight loss journey. What I won was a book written by Bryan Ganey, who lost almost 400 pounds without surgery! I can't wait to read it!
*I had my moment of fame, with my story being on his blog. (http://ganeybypass.blogspot.com/2013/12/winners-of-enough-is-enough-book.html)
*A friend messaged me randomly, out of the blue, and asked me to give her nutritional advice. It made me feel honored to still be considered a "health guru".
*TOPS needed a volunteer promotional lady in our area and I was first one who came to their mind. Nevermind the fact that I'm hugely pregnant. I was honored.
*I keep running into my health mentor at town, which is weird, because we go for months without running in to each other.
So...yeah...these seem like small things, but when they keep happening bam, bam, back to back, it's like "wow...something's going on here"
And I'm happy to be back on track. There's a great feeling down in your gut when you KNOW you are eating/living right...and I've got that feeling in my gut right now. LOVE IT.
Today I want to blog about all the ways God has sent me love hugs, little nudges of encouragement that IT IS TIME to get back to the healthy lifestyle I once lived. I feel such confirmation through all these things. God really does care about my journey...because it is important to me...and He care about me.
All of the following happened within the span of a week:
*I won an essay contest about my weight loss journey. What I won was a book written by Bryan Ganey, who lost almost 400 pounds without surgery! I can't wait to read it!
*I had my moment of fame, with my story being on his blog. (http://ganeybypass.blogspot.com/2013/12/winners-of-enough-is-enough-book.html)
*A friend messaged me randomly, out of the blue, and asked me to give her nutritional advice. It made me feel honored to still be considered a "health guru".
*TOPS needed a volunteer promotional lady in our area and I was first one who came to their mind. Nevermind the fact that I'm hugely pregnant. I was honored.
*I keep running into my health mentor at town, which is weird, because we go for months without running in to each other.
So...yeah...these seem like small things, but when they keep happening bam, bam, back to back, it's like "wow...something's going on here"
And I'm happy to be back on track. There's a great feeling down in your gut when you KNOW you are eating/living right...and I've got that feeling in my gut right now. LOVE IT.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
friends, tools, and blogs
Sometimes, some people (so I've heard, *clears throat*) sit on a couch at 11 p.m. eating a bowl of spaghetti and almost like they are drunk with the food consumption, look at their spaghetti and think, "Spaghetti, you are my friend." Oh, when we feel affection for our food, that is never a good sign. Food is like one of those backstabbing friends you had in junior high. No, food is not your friend. Food is a tool. A tool to help you live and have energy and strength. If your food isn't promoting life, energy and strength in you, you might need to take another look at yourself. I KNOW. I have a bowl of spaghetti 18 inches from me as I type.
Sometimes, some people have a healthy friend who can hold them accountable and encourage them and teach them as they learn to make a healthier lifestyle for themselves. I am blessed with one such friend. She was the major tool that God used to teach me about nutrition, to help me to believe in myself, and to be my accountability partner a few years ago. SHE could see the healthy me before it was evident. She saw what I could be. When I was over 300 pounds, she encouraged me to run a 5K. ha! But she put the thought of "I can do this" in my head.
I learned a lot from her and I changed my life and lost those 81 pounds that I was so proud of. We are all busy people and she is no different, so I quit texting her nightly and I still succeeded. It was like taking the training wheels off. I could ride! I haven't relied on her support in a long time.
However, this whole baby thing threw me off! (as you well know from reading this blog). So, today I contacted my old friend and we are going back to the nightly texting-- I will give account of my calories, water, and exercise every night. I hate to bother her. But I'd rather put the training wheels back on than to sit on the porch and pout.
I'm also thankful for the health friends in the blogger world and on facebook. THAT also is a great tool! My weight loss facebook page is here: https://www.facebook.com/duncantops.takeoffpoundssensibly (feel free to send a request). As far as the weight loss blogging community, I used to follow a lot of people. I was saddened to find that some of those blogs haven't had a post in months (we all know what that usually means--weight gain). I do still read a few who are successfully blogging and successfully losing, but not many :( So, I've been on the lookout for some new blogs to read. I found this lady: http://weight4baby.com/ and I'm anticipating following a successful journey with her.
How about you? What are some of your favorite blogs?
Sometimes, some people have a healthy friend who can hold them accountable and encourage them and teach them as they learn to make a healthier lifestyle for themselves. I am blessed with one such friend. She was the major tool that God used to teach me about nutrition, to help me to believe in myself, and to be my accountability partner a few years ago. SHE could see the healthy me before it was evident. She saw what I could be. When I was over 300 pounds, she encouraged me to run a 5K. ha! But she put the thought of "I can do this" in my head.
I learned a lot from her and I changed my life and lost those 81 pounds that I was so proud of. We are all busy people and she is no different, so I quit texting her nightly and I still succeeded. It was like taking the training wheels off. I could ride! I haven't relied on her support in a long time.
However, this whole baby thing threw me off! (as you well know from reading this blog). So, today I contacted my old friend and we are going back to the nightly texting-- I will give account of my calories, water, and exercise every night. I hate to bother her. But I'd rather put the training wheels back on than to sit on the porch and pout.
I'm also thankful for the health friends in the blogger world and on facebook. THAT also is a great tool! My weight loss facebook page is here: https://www.facebook.com/duncantops.takeoffpoundssensibly (feel free to send a request). As far as the weight loss blogging community, I used to follow a lot of people. I was saddened to find that some of those blogs haven't had a post in months (we all know what that usually means--weight gain). I do still read a few who are successfully blogging and successfully losing, but not many :( So, I've been on the lookout for some new blogs to read. I found this lady: http://weight4baby.com/ and I'm anticipating following a successful journey with her.
How about you? What are some of your favorite blogs?
Thursday, December 5, 2013
wobbly success/keep getting better
Sometimes, when someone has a stroke or something, they have to relearn some things. That's how I feel with my weight loss journey right now. I KNOW what to do. I've done the healthy thing before. I KNOW!!!
But something happened.
And now, I'm wobbling. I'm taking baby steps...and wobbly ones at that. Because I'm NOT where I once was. I CAN'T just jump in where I left off.
I'm wobbling and relearning.
Today's food and exercise intake for today would have looked like a FAILURE in my eyes a year ago. But today, I look at it in its imperfection and CELEBRATE because it is better than yesterday.
TODAY I wrote out my meal plan and calories for the entire day. When hubby came in with a box of little debbie Christmas cakes, I did immediately eat one. But then I readjusted my calories for the day. I exercised today. A small amount, but I did it, which beats not doing it. Then, right here at 8 p.m., I ate a spoonful of peanut butter, with syrup, white toast and a cup of milk. This was NOT on the plan. But I owned it. It could have been a lot worse.
wobble, wobble
All I have to do is work at it every day.... wobble, wobble...keep moving forward...keep improving.
And one day I will realize I am back to where I was....then I will have passed it!
I refuse to go to bed feeling like a failure. TODAY WAS SUCCESSFUL, Amy, believe that.
But something happened.
And now, I'm wobbling. I'm taking baby steps...and wobbly ones at that. Because I'm NOT where I once was. I CAN'T just jump in where I left off.
I'm wobbling and relearning.
Today's food and exercise intake for today would have looked like a FAILURE in my eyes a year ago. But today, I look at it in its imperfection and CELEBRATE because it is better than yesterday.
TODAY I wrote out my meal plan and calories for the entire day. When hubby came in with a box of little debbie Christmas cakes, I did immediately eat one. But then I readjusted my calories for the day. I exercised today. A small amount, but I did it, which beats not doing it. Then, right here at 8 p.m., I ate a spoonful of peanut butter, with syrup, white toast and a cup of milk. This was NOT on the plan. But I owned it. It could have been a lot worse.
wobble, wobble
All I have to do is work at it every day.... wobble, wobble...keep moving forward...keep improving.
And one day I will realize I am back to where I was....then I will have passed it!
I refuse to go to bed feeling like a failure. TODAY WAS SUCCESSFUL, Amy, believe that.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
motivationally constipated
Yeah. I'm motivated. But I'm not moving toward my goals at nearly the speed I would like today. I thought perhaps a few moments of blogging could be the cure.
Do you do this? Do you know what you need to do? And yet, you sit there, feeling overwhelmed and instead DO NOTHING? I have SO MUCH I need to do. There's not really spare time for wasting.
I have dealt a bit with anxiety this morning---realizing that we are at the end of husband's unemployment checks. SOMETHING is going to have to change, probably within the next 2 weeks. And when you are uncertain how that change will play out, it can make you antsy. Finances have really given me fits lately.
My OB doctor wrote a "prescription" for TOPS, with my highest acceptable pregnancy weight. As of yesterday, I was about a pound and a half below that! And I still have 18 weeks til full term. So...yeah. (I have gained 21 pounds in 22 weeks) Pie! errrr.
Ok........enough venting.
Now....how to get this motivational thing unstuck! Here's the plan:
1. Set the timer for 10 minutes and read facebook and weight loss blogs.
2. Brush and braid daughter's hair.
3. Set out (find) clothes for everyone to wear (yep...1 p.m. and the kids are still in jammies)
4. Gather the movies that were due yesterday.
5. Gather the past due library stuff.
6. Exercise dvd (Leslie Sansone)
7. Feed the kids.
8. Do school work until til for daughter's occupational therapy.
9. Take dd to therapy.
10. housework
11. supper then clean kitchen
12 Go to bed early and get some rest!
Thanks for reading my thinking-aloud!
Do you do this? Do you know what you need to do? And yet, you sit there, feeling overwhelmed and instead DO NOTHING? I have SO MUCH I need to do. There's not really spare time for wasting.
I have dealt a bit with anxiety this morning---realizing that we are at the end of husband's unemployment checks. SOMETHING is going to have to change, probably within the next 2 weeks. And when you are uncertain how that change will play out, it can make you antsy. Finances have really given me fits lately.
My OB doctor wrote a "prescription" for TOPS, with my highest acceptable pregnancy weight. As of yesterday, I was about a pound and a half below that! And I still have 18 weeks til full term. So...yeah. (I have gained 21 pounds in 22 weeks) Pie! errrr.
Ok........enough venting.
Now....how to get this motivational thing unstuck! Here's the plan:
1. Set the timer for 10 minutes and read facebook and weight loss blogs.
2. Brush and braid daughter's hair.
3. Set out (find) clothes for everyone to wear (yep...1 p.m. and the kids are still in jammies)
4. Gather the movies that were due yesterday.
5. Gather the past due library stuff.
6. Exercise dvd (Leslie Sansone)
7. Feed the kids.
8. Do school work until til for daughter's occupational therapy.
9. Take dd to therapy.
10. housework
11. supper then clean kitchen
12 Go to bed early and get some rest!
Thanks for reading my thinking-aloud!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Images of success (be, feel, appear)
Today I was at a red light next to a man in a nice car (BMW). It was spotless. The man was wearing a dress shirt and tie. Just from that quick moment, I deemed him "successful". I could be wrong. But I bet I wasn't.
Have you ever noticed? Successful, professional people drive clean vehicles, wear starched clothing, and have spotless houses filled with expensive furniture. Their hair is styled. They smell of expensive fragrance
You don't often see a successful, professional woman who needs to attend to her chin hairs. She doesn't have McDonald's napkins and empty cups in the floor board of her car. She doesn't have a "happy fall" decoration on her porch in January.
I know, I have talked a lot about my impression of people a LOT in the last couple of posts. This wasn't intentional. But obviously, this is what it going on in my head right now.
I don't want to just be good at one thing (such as, you are such a good mother)...I want to succeed in everything! I want my house and car in order, I want my health in order. I want my spirit to be in order. I want my appearance to be in order. Everything. (perfectionist, much?)
I'm jealous (there's that word again) of people who appear successful in my eyes.
I want to BE successful, I want to FEEL successful and I want to APPEAR successful. I must have them all.
The Bible warns us to not compare ourselves with others. Refraining from that is not easy.
With today being Thanksgiving, facebook had a lot of friends' pictures of their homes, their kitchens and their families. I saw immaculate furniture that must have cost a ton and I wonder, "What am I doing wrong?"
I read the black Friday sales ads and saw that people are excited to purchase a pair of headphones for $115 (regular price $199). My heart hurt when I realized that people will go to that sale and buy those $115 headphones for their teenager for Christmas, because they can. ......when *I* (here comes the comparison part the Bible warns against) am almost 2 months behind on my house payment and haven't purchased brand new clothing for my children in probably two years.
I've had a little pitty party for myself today. I feel sorry for myself because even though I have a strong desire to BE,FEEL, and APPEAR successful......I'm not sure how to accomplish those things, and that is frustrating.
However, I remain encouraged...for my drive is strong...and I am determined to work at it and let the Lord lead me. I will get there.
Thanks so much for reading!
Have you ever noticed? Successful, professional people drive clean vehicles, wear starched clothing, and have spotless houses filled with expensive furniture. Their hair is styled. They smell of expensive fragrance
You don't often see a successful, professional woman who needs to attend to her chin hairs. She doesn't have McDonald's napkins and empty cups in the floor board of her car. She doesn't have a "happy fall" decoration on her porch in January.
I know, I have talked a lot about my impression of people a LOT in the last couple of posts. This wasn't intentional. But obviously, this is what it going on in my head right now.
I don't want to just be good at one thing (such as, you are such a good mother)...I want to succeed in everything! I want my house and car in order, I want my health in order. I want my spirit to be in order. I want my appearance to be in order. Everything. (perfectionist, much?)
I'm jealous (there's that word again) of people who appear successful in my eyes.
I want to BE successful, I want to FEEL successful and I want to APPEAR successful. I must have them all.
The Bible warns us to not compare ourselves with others. Refraining from that is not easy.
With today being Thanksgiving, facebook had a lot of friends' pictures of their homes, their kitchens and their families. I saw immaculate furniture that must have cost a ton and I wonder, "What am I doing wrong?"
I read the black Friday sales ads and saw that people are excited to purchase a pair of headphones for $115 (regular price $199). My heart hurt when I realized that people will go to that sale and buy those $115 headphones for their teenager for Christmas, because they can. ......when *I* (here comes the comparison part the Bible warns against) am almost 2 months behind on my house payment and haven't purchased brand new clothing for my children in probably two years.
I've had a little pitty party for myself today. I feel sorry for myself because even though I have a strong desire to BE,FEEL, and APPEAR successful......I'm not sure how to accomplish those things, and that is frustrating.
However, I remain encouraged...for my drive is strong...and I am determined to work at it and let the Lord lead me. I will get there.
Thanks so much for reading!
Monday, November 25, 2013
jealous
What I'm about to tell you makes me look like a "not very good Christian" but it is brutally honest (I am a lot more brutally honest here than I am face to face....which is scary because I do have some readers here who know me in real life!)
There's someone who just rubs me the wrong way---and I'm jealous of them in a weird kind of way, even though I don't want to be anything like them.
I will call her Kathy (not her real name).
Many, many months ago, when I was at my lowest weight, I had made some HUGE changes in my lifestyle. I had lost 81 pounds and was 60 pounds from goal. I was eating kale, tuna, bananas....NEVER ate junk. I was ON TARGET. I was healthy. I was even athletic. I was doing 5K's and could even run some. I know me. I was "in the zone".
During this time, I was was put in a situation where I spent several hours working alongside this new lady, Kathy. Kathy was larger than me and she didn't dress as figure flattering as she could have. She wore neon colored pants (the kind that look like tights) that clung to her stomach that was hanging...and her t-shirt was very short and well above where it needed to be. I'm not trying to make fun. I'm painting you a picture.
This lady talked the entire time we worked. She talked about HERSELF. She talked about how she's losing weight and made a lifestyle change. Since the subject had come up, I mentioned that I had lost 81 pounds myself, and had also made a lifestyle change. She proceeded to "give me tips" of "what I should do" so I could "become successful like her".
I know, I know. I should have let that go. I know I should have congratulated her on feeling healthy---- really were were very similar---still overweight but feeling like hot stuff. But I let it rub me the wrong way. How DARE her insinuate that she could HELP me??!! I rocked! haha....I'm being transparent! That's how it went in my head! Followed by "I don't like her."
I haven't thought about Kathy in a long time, until I happened to see her post on something (a mutual friend I guess) on facebook. I immediately went to snoop on her page. She still wears the hideous tights/pants but guess what? She has lost over 100 pounds now. *jaw drop* I should be happy for her. Instead, I'm jealous!
Before I saw this, my plans for the rest of this night were: take a shower, sit on the couch and eat the deep dish pizza hubby picked up for supper.
BUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no. That isn't going to happen. I'm going to exercise, take my shower, and have maybe half a piece of pizza and some green beans or something!
Am I the only one who has a health rival? If you have one, please tell me about them. :)
There's someone who just rubs me the wrong way---and I'm jealous of them in a weird kind of way, even though I don't want to be anything like them.
I will call her Kathy (not her real name).
Many, many months ago, when I was at my lowest weight, I had made some HUGE changes in my lifestyle. I had lost 81 pounds and was 60 pounds from goal. I was eating kale, tuna, bananas....NEVER ate junk. I was ON TARGET. I was healthy. I was even athletic. I was doing 5K's and could even run some. I know me. I was "in the zone".
During this time, I was was put in a situation where I spent several hours working alongside this new lady, Kathy. Kathy was larger than me and she didn't dress as figure flattering as she could have. She wore neon colored pants (the kind that look like tights) that clung to her stomach that was hanging...and her t-shirt was very short and well above where it needed to be. I'm not trying to make fun. I'm painting you a picture.
This lady talked the entire time we worked. She talked about HERSELF. She talked about how she's losing weight and made a lifestyle change. Since the subject had come up, I mentioned that I had lost 81 pounds myself, and had also made a lifestyle change. She proceeded to "give me tips" of "what I should do" so I could "become successful like her".
I know, I know. I should have let that go. I know I should have congratulated her on feeling healthy---- really were were very similar---still overweight but feeling like hot stuff. But I let it rub me the wrong way. How DARE her insinuate that she could HELP me??!! I rocked! haha....I'm being transparent! That's how it went in my head! Followed by "I don't like her."
I haven't thought about Kathy in a long time, until I happened to see her post on something (a mutual friend I guess) on facebook. I immediately went to snoop on her page. She still wears the hideous tights/pants but guess what? She has lost over 100 pounds now. *jaw drop* I should be happy for her. Instead, I'm jealous!
Before I saw this, my plans for the rest of this night were: take a shower, sit on the couch and eat the deep dish pizza hubby picked up for supper.
BUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!! Oh no. That isn't going to happen. I'm going to exercise, take my shower, and have maybe half a piece of pizza and some green beans or something!
Am I the only one who has a health rival? If you have one, please tell me about them. :)
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Postive talk Monday
I like to listen to Joel Osteen aka Mr. Positive Preacher. He talks so much about speaking positively and believing it will be so. For tonight's post, I just want to post my positive declarations for the upcoming week.
*Monday morning my dad and I will have a safe trip to the cancer center, we will have favor with the doctor and nurses, the report will be good and we will enjoy our time visiting as he has his treatment.
*This week will be well organized and smooth.
*This week I will make wise decisions at the grocery store and cook nutritious, healthy, tasty meals.
*This week I will not overeat.
*This week I will exercise daily.
*This week I will feel well, healthy, on plan, and accomplished.
*This week, the house will be in order.
*This week, our finances will be blessed.
*This week, the Lord will fix situations that need attention--both ones that I know about and things I don't even realize!
*This week, the Lord will be felt near.
*I will end this week feeling successful, being successful.
*Monday morning my dad and I will have a safe trip to the cancer center, we will have favor with the doctor and nurses, the report will be good and we will enjoy our time visiting as he has his treatment.
*This week will be well organized and smooth.
*This week I will make wise decisions at the grocery store and cook nutritious, healthy, tasty meals.
*This week I will not overeat.
*This week I will exercise daily.
*This week I will feel well, healthy, on plan, and accomplished.
*This week, the house will be in order.
*This week, our finances will be blessed.
*This week, the Lord will fix situations that need attention--both ones that I know about and things I don't even realize!
*This week, the Lord will be felt near.
*I will end this week feeling successful, being successful.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
harsh cheeseburger visions
Someone left me a comment (and I do appreciate EVERY comment--thank you for letting me know you read!), saying that my description of people at the food pantry in my last post was harsh. I didn't mean to be offensive. But sometimes life IS harsh. I'm not meaning to degrade anyone who goes to a food pantry...hey--I was there too and I go almost every month--I need it, so I AM a food pantry recipient. My point was---there are some people that you look at and they appear to be going somewhere in life, successful, motivated, professional, etc...and there are some people who you can look at and tell that they have no vision, no dream, no drive. I want to the first of the two.
I was recently at a ladies' retreat. The speaker told of seeing a homeless man on a street corner with a sign that said "Homeless with visions of a cheeseburger". She went on to talk about having a dream, a vision, a goal, something to strive for. How big is your dream and vision? Are we content with just a cheeseburger? A cheeseburger is only going to satisfy you for a few hours. She was wishing the man could get a vision for a better life, to not be homeless, to have a home and a job, etc (you all know what I'm saying). I'm sure he did NOT want to be where he was. No one would. But he wasn't looking to get out of his situation. He was just looking for a temporary satisfaction.
Like ice cream does. Or overeating anything--being off our health plan. Temporary satisfaction that doesn't change us for the better, long term.
THAT is where I don't want to be. THAT is what I don't want to become.
I don't want to fail on my vision of my goal weight and healthy lifestyle.
I want to be ON plan. I want to LIVE to my POTENTIAL.
I want to succeed.
And sometimes, it is a severe fight.
I was recently at a ladies' retreat. The speaker told of seeing a homeless man on a street corner with a sign that said "Homeless with visions of a cheeseburger". She went on to talk about having a dream, a vision, a goal, something to strive for. How big is your dream and vision? Are we content with just a cheeseburger? A cheeseburger is only going to satisfy you for a few hours. She was wishing the man could get a vision for a better life, to not be homeless, to have a home and a job, etc (you all know what I'm saying). I'm sure he did NOT want to be where he was. No one would. But he wasn't looking to get out of his situation. He was just looking for a temporary satisfaction.
Like ice cream does. Or overeating anything--being off our health plan. Temporary satisfaction that doesn't change us for the better, long term.
THAT is where I don't want to be. THAT is what I don't want to become.
I don't want to fail on my vision of my goal weight and healthy lifestyle.
I want to be ON plan. I want to LIVE to my POTENTIAL.
I want to succeed.
And sometimes, it is a severe fight.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
yeast, bad checks, health bums
I got thrush on my tongue randomly, in early September. It has come and gone and it a lot better but still, after almost 3 months, it is still somewhat present.
I also have some red spots on my upper thigh that almost look like ringworm, execpt, it isn't ringworm. I think it is yeast and I think it is connected to the thrush.
It is CRAZY that I let this go for so long without going to the doctor. I could go for FREE! But life is busy and something that isn't terribly annoying or life threatening seems low priority.
Oct. 31, my son had emergency surgery for an abscessed lymph node in his throat. He apparently had a bacterial infection that just set up in there and got really bad.
When that happened, I wondered......................could this be related to my tongue and thigh issue? Do we have some kind of weird bacteria thing going on and I passed it to him somehow???? So, I vowed to get myself to the doctor. TOMORROW I need to call and make that appointment!!!!!!!!
In other news, I took dad for his ct scan and he did well. (He has terminal lung cancer.) Honestly, I was expecting them to go NOT well. It hurts him to lie on his back and he has to for the ct scan. But he sailed right through it, went home and cooked goolash, and brought me some. LOL
I'm frustrated that someone gave my husband a BAD $200 check to buy parts with for their rototiller (hubby works in our garage as a small engine mechanic). We bought the parts and THEN were notified that the check was bad and the bank took the $200 from our account. $200 that I could REALLY use right now. ...........
And partially because of that, and partially because dad wanted me to pick his food up, I spent an hour and a half in line at the food pantry today, in the drizzle. I HATE THAT. I stood in line with people who put forth no effort in their appearance---- a scraggly man in a greasy hooters shirt, a lady wearing sweats that only cover half of her bottom, people who needed to wash their hair really badly.....and I wondered.......am I one of them??? I know there were also some normal people that I could relate to there somewhere too...surely. But for the most part, I got the impression that most people there had no vision, no dream, no goal, didn't care....weren't trying. LORD! Don't let me become that way! Yet, AM I that way when it comes to my health?????????????????????????????????????????????????? Have I become a health "bum"? No. I'm not willing. I've hit a rough patch...but this isn't who I am. I'm digging my way out.
Any advice?
I also have some red spots on my upper thigh that almost look like ringworm, execpt, it isn't ringworm. I think it is yeast and I think it is connected to the thrush.
It is CRAZY that I let this go for so long without going to the doctor. I could go for FREE! But life is busy and something that isn't terribly annoying or life threatening seems low priority.
Oct. 31, my son had emergency surgery for an abscessed lymph node in his throat. He apparently had a bacterial infection that just set up in there and got really bad.
When that happened, I wondered......................could this be related to my tongue and thigh issue? Do we have some kind of weird bacteria thing going on and I passed it to him somehow???? So, I vowed to get myself to the doctor. TOMORROW I need to call and make that appointment!!!!!!!!
In other news, I took dad for his ct scan and he did well. (He has terminal lung cancer.) Honestly, I was expecting them to go NOT well. It hurts him to lie on his back and he has to for the ct scan. But he sailed right through it, went home and cooked goolash, and brought me some. LOL
I'm frustrated that someone gave my husband a BAD $200 check to buy parts with for their rototiller (hubby works in our garage as a small engine mechanic). We bought the parts and THEN were notified that the check was bad and the bank took the $200 from our account. $200 that I could REALLY use right now. ...........
And partially because of that, and partially because dad wanted me to pick his food up, I spent an hour and a half in line at the food pantry today, in the drizzle. I HATE THAT. I stood in line with people who put forth no effort in their appearance---- a scraggly man in a greasy hooters shirt, a lady wearing sweats that only cover half of her bottom, people who needed to wash their hair really badly.....and I wondered.......am I one of them??? I know there were also some normal people that I could relate to there somewhere too...surely. But for the most part, I got the impression that most people there had no vision, no dream, no goal, didn't care....weren't trying. LORD! Don't let me become that way! Yet, AM I that way when it comes to my health?????????????????????????????????????????????????? Have I become a health "bum"? No. I'm not willing. I've hit a rough patch...but this isn't who I am. I'm digging my way out.
Any advice?
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
5 minute night
9:50-9:55 Yesterday I typed for 10 minutes. Tonight I just want to go to sleep...but I will type for 5 first.
Today was busy. Who am I kidding? My LIFE is busy these days, so I guess it was just a normal day. I hit the ground running, did housework, school with the kids, took son to the doctor for a recheck from his surgery (it went fine) and cooked for tonight's church Thanksgiving dinner. Before heading out, I ran to the store to get hubby some eye drops (dry eyes) and sinus medicine. He's doing better but still not kicking very high. He didn't go to the dinner.
At the dinner, I only made one trip through the line, (good) but I ate two desserts (bad). A homemade chocolate pie made by a grandma...not my grandma...but you know what I mean...the OLD STYLE GRANDMA CHOCOLATE PIE. I also had a slice of pecan pie. Ugh. I ate too much.
So, I just came home and I'm about to hit the hay. I did not get exercise in today. I wish I would have. Yesterday I walked a pretty fast pace mile (fast, compared to my current speed LOL) and I felt so much more energetic.
Well, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow I take dad for a ct scan first thing in the morning and then hopefully get back in time to take my daughter to storytime (she volunteers). If not, maybe hubby will feel well enough to take her. We will see.
Shame on me............I should worry about tomorrow, tomorrow!
I'm really thirsty today. ANd feeling fat. :(
I dug out my skirt that I used to show as my "before" skirt............and I can fit it. It is still technically too big...but I can wear it and it is comfortable. ugh.
I want to be healthy.
I'm so tired.
thank you for reading
Today was busy. Who am I kidding? My LIFE is busy these days, so I guess it was just a normal day. I hit the ground running, did housework, school with the kids, took son to the doctor for a recheck from his surgery (it went fine) and cooked for tonight's church Thanksgiving dinner. Before heading out, I ran to the store to get hubby some eye drops (dry eyes) and sinus medicine. He's doing better but still not kicking very high. He didn't go to the dinner.
At the dinner, I only made one trip through the line, (good) but I ate two desserts (bad). A homemade chocolate pie made by a grandma...not my grandma...but you know what I mean...the OLD STYLE GRANDMA CHOCOLATE PIE. I also had a slice of pecan pie. Ugh. I ate too much.
So, I just came home and I'm about to hit the hay. I did not get exercise in today. I wish I would have. Yesterday I walked a pretty fast pace mile (fast, compared to my current speed LOL) and I felt so much more energetic.
Well, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow I take dad for a ct scan first thing in the morning and then hopefully get back in time to take my daughter to storytime (she volunteers). If not, maybe hubby will feel well enough to take her. We will see.
Shame on me............I should worry about tomorrow, tomorrow!
I'm really thirsty today. ANd feeling fat. :(
I dug out my skirt that I used to show as my "before" skirt............and I can fit it. It is still technically too big...but I can wear it and it is comfortable. ugh.
I want to be healthy.
I'm so tired.
thank you for reading
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Still....
You know what? I miss blogging. Even though I'm so tired I could fall over, I'm going to sit here and type for 10 minutes. ---until 9:58.
You know, I posted "I'm pregnant!" and then just fell off the blogging world. Well, in the real world, I'm still alive. And I'm still pregnant. As a matter of fact, yesterday was the half-way point in my pregnancy.
I'm still homeschooling.
Hubby's still unemployed.
Dad's still fighting with stage 4 lung cancer (I don't know why I am this way---but almost every time I mean to type "lung cancer", I accidentally type "lunch cancer" and have to go back and fix it. seriously)
I'm still tired.
My 14 year old son had a long ordeal the first of this month that included emergency night-time surgery on an abscessed lymph node in his throat. It was a hard time. I'm glad it's over.
I have REALLY, REALLY had issues with my eating. I hate that. I almost don't want to admit it. But I am honest to a fault. I'm struggling.
The doctor wanted me to gain 0-15 pounds with this pregnancy. Here, with just over 4 months to go, I have gained 17.
Some of you may say "Well, weight gain is to be expected and you are nourishing a baby and it will be ok", which, if I were eating right, I would agree.
But I'm not.
I'm eating junk. eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
WHY am I eating junk?
I just ate 2 bowls of cheerios AND ADDED SUGAR. I wasn't even hungry. I just wanted the sugar.
*sigh*
I am not happy with this. I am not happy with me.
In other news, hubby has been sick in bed the past 2 days and I miss him.
I don't even know if any of you read me anymore. If you do, thank you! I think getting back to blogging will help me.
Time's up! goodnight!
You know, I posted "I'm pregnant!" and then just fell off the blogging world. Well, in the real world, I'm still alive. And I'm still pregnant. As a matter of fact, yesterday was the half-way point in my pregnancy.
I'm still homeschooling.
Hubby's still unemployed.
Dad's still fighting with stage 4 lung cancer (I don't know why I am this way---but almost every time I mean to type "lung cancer", I accidentally type "lunch cancer" and have to go back and fix it. seriously)
I'm still tired.
My 14 year old son had a long ordeal the first of this month that included emergency night-time surgery on an abscessed lymph node in his throat. It was a hard time. I'm glad it's over.
I have REALLY, REALLY had issues with my eating. I hate that. I almost don't want to admit it. But I am honest to a fault. I'm struggling.
The doctor wanted me to gain 0-15 pounds with this pregnancy. Here, with just over 4 months to go, I have gained 17.
Some of you may say "Well, weight gain is to be expected and you are nourishing a baby and it will be ok", which, if I were eating right, I would agree.
But I'm not.
I'm eating junk. eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
WHY am I eating junk?
I just ate 2 bowls of cheerios AND ADDED SUGAR. I wasn't even hungry. I just wanted the sugar.
*sigh*
I am not happy with this. I am not happy with me.
In other news, hubby has been sick in bed the past 2 days and I miss him.
I don't even know if any of you read me anymore. If you do, thank you! I think getting back to blogging will help me.
Time's up! goodnight!
Friday, August 16, 2013
I'm pregnant!!!
Yes, I am.
I am 35 years old and my husband is almost 41. Our other kids are 14 and almost 12. This wasn't planned, but we are happy!
I am not going to just junk out. I want this to be the healthiest pregnancy ever.
Today is day three, I think, that I haven't sent you a food dairy. Today I just didn't..but I counted my calories and went over by about 400 because I decided to eat a quasadilla when hubby asked me to fix him one.
Wednesday I was sick, sick, sick. I ate comfort food, then I felt even worse! I think I stayed in calorie range with the comfort food but still--it wasn't good stuff-- manwich and ice cream. LOL
Then yesterday I had a very busy day and then ended up in the ER for 4 hours because I was spotting. :( I am on light duty (no exercise, lots of rest, no lifting, etc) for 3 weeks.They couldn't find an explanation for the spotting, said my cervix was closed and an ultrasound found a heartbeat. I go back tomorrow for more bloodwork, to compare it to yesterdays.
So...yeah...lots going on. In the midst of this, dad had an episode of about half an hour where he had to focus very hard to breathe right. (He has terminal lung cancer..less than 6 months to live, they say) School starts Monday--homeschool, that is--I am plenty involved. And I have stuff in my fridge that's probably been in there over a month. Oh, I am also supposed to not stress about anything LOL
I am doing my best to go with the flow.
Goodnight!
I am 35 years old and my husband is almost 41. Our other kids are 14 and almost 12. This wasn't planned, but we are happy!
I am not going to just junk out. I want this to be the healthiest pregnancy ever.
Today is day three, I think, that I haven't sent you a food dairy. Today I just didn't..but I counted my calories and went over by about 400 because I decided to eat a quasadilla when hubby asked me to fix him one.
Wednesday I was sick, sick, sick. I ate comfort food, then I felt even worse! I think I stayed in calorie range with the comfort food but still--it wasn't good stuff-- manwich and ice cream. LOL
Then yesterday I had a very busy day and then ended up in the ER for 4 hours because I was spotting. :( I am on light duty (no exercise, lots of rest, no lifting, etc) for 3 weeks.They couldn't find an explanation for the spotting, said my cervix was closed and an ultrasound found a heartbeat. I go back tomorrow for more bloodwork, to compare it to yesterdays.
So...yeah...lots going on. In the midst of this, dad had an episode of about half an hour where he had to focus very hard to breathe right. (He has terminal lung cancer..less than 6 months to live, they say) School starts Monday--homeschool, that is--I am plenty involved. And I have stuff in my fridge that's probably been in there over a month. Oh, I am also supposed to not stress about anything LOL
I am doing my best to go with the flow.
Goodnight!
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
food diary Tuesday 8-13-13
Today was busy. I am always busy, have you noticed? It gets on my nerves. I don't enjoy being busy but I enjoy all the things I do LOL ...and those things make me busy. Oh well! Today I took food to a lady in our church whose sister had passed away. Then I ran errands and gave my mom a ride. I went home and braided my daughter's hair and took her to therapy. Then I took a folding table and folding chairs to my parents'. I came back home for about 30 minutes (during that time I washed dishes, joy joy). Then we went back over to my parents to visit with my cousin and his parents. I just got home around 9 p.m. and I finished kitchen cleaning the kitchen and put on my pajamas. I am now sitting on my bed typing and my daughter is in my bathroom supposedly getting ready for bed and talking my ear off even though I told her I am trying to concentrate :)
Weight: 258.8 (8.8 more pounds until end of challenge----and I will be glad because I have been really wanting something sweet!)
Breakfast: kasha cereal, banana, milk, walnuts
Lunch: Billy Sims smoked chicken sandwich
Snack: kasha mocha bar
supper: 3 pieces (I had only planned to eat two :( ) of pizza hut pizza and a small side salad
Calories: I couldn't find calories on the Billy Sims...but if I were guessing, I probably went over by about 150 calories today.
Exercise: 3 miles...took me 56 minutes
Water: 100 ounces
Weight: 258.8 (8.8 more pounds until end of challenge----and I will be glad because I have been really wanting something sweet!)
Breakfast: kasha cereal, banana, milk, walnuts
Lunch: Billy Sims smoked chicken sandwich
Snack: kasha mocha bar
supper: 3 pieces (I had only planned to eat two :( ) of pizza hut pizza and a small side salad
Calories: I couldn't find calories on the Billy Sims...but if I were guessing, I probably went over by about 150 calories today.
Exercise: 3 miles...took me 56 minutes
Water: 100 ounces
Monday, August 12, 2013
food diary 8-12-13 Monday
Would you believe after that 14 hour sleep last night........today I am still tired? And moody. moody, moody, moody and wearing my feelings on my shoulder. And getting upset over stupid stuff like sitting here at 10 p.m., totally exhausted, with a sink FULL of dishes...and I see pics on fb of an acquaintance and in the background is a perfect, perfect, perfect house.
Anyway...........here's what I ate. I stayed in range with calories, protein and fiber. I drank about 90 ounces of water and did a 20 minute Leslie dvd.
I lack 9.4 pounds to be done with this challenge.
Today I had access to little debbies and I really, really wanted one. But, I didn't.
Breakfast: homemade veggie soup and crackers and a kasha mocha bar (I know...not typical breakfast food..but it is what I wanted LOL)
Lunch: one slice of frozen cheese pizza, 1 cup instant mashed potatoes, half cup black eyed peas, 1 T peanut butter
Snack: triscuits and cheddar cheese and a fiber one bar
Supper: 1 cup chicken spaghetti, 1 cup green beans, half an apple, 2 boiled eggs
Calories 2072 (in range)
I'm going to wash dishes for 10 minutes and go to bed.
Thanks for reading!
Anyway...........here's what I ate. I stayed in range with calories, protein and fiber. I drank about 90 ounces of water and did a 20 minute Leslie dvd.
I lack 9.4 pounds to be done with this challenge.
Today I had access to little debbies and I really, really wanted one. But, I didn't.
Breakfast: homemade veggie soup and crackers and a kasha mocha bar (I know...not typical breakfast food..but it is what I wanted LOL)
Lunch: one slice of frozen cheese pizza, 1 cup instant mashed potatoes, half cup black eyed peas, 1 T peanut butter
Snack: triscuits and cheddar cheese and a fiber one bar
Supper: 1 cup chicken spaghetti, 1 cup green beans, half an apple, 2 boiled eggs
Calories 2072 (in range)
I'm going to wash dishes for 10 minutes and go to bed.
Thanks for reading!
food diary Sunday 8-11-13
I fell asleep at 5 p.m. yesterday and slept 14 hours (!) so that is why this is late being posted.
I got back from picking my son up at 3:15 a.m. then slept less than 4 hours then went to teach Sunday School.
I ate kasha cereal, organic granola, and milk on the way.
After I got home, I cleaned the living room (company was coming!) and I was starving so I ate a kasha mocha bar, then slept about 20 minutes.
Company came (my cousin from NJ and his parents) and took my family out to eat at my dad's favorite restaurant---Bill's catfish. There is a lot of emotion behind this. My dad has been having chemo for about 9 months or so and it killed his taste buds. He was miserable, not being able to taste and was losing a lot of weight. He decided to quit the chemo because he thought living a shorter time and being able to eat was better than living a longer time and being miserable. However, the day we went in to officially quit chemo, we got tests results back that said his cancer was growing. He compromised on a 3 week break from chemo. During that time, he has regained his taste. We decided we all needed to eat at dad's favorite place, as one big happy family, one more time while he can enjoy it...before he starts chemo back. So........yeah........Bill's catfish.........where EVERY SINGLE PLATTER you can choose from is deep fried.
I ordered a HALF order of the catfish plate and a side salad, which was basically a cup of iceburg.
I probably got in 60 oz of water during the day.
I went home and later had a fiber one bar.
Then I fell asleep at 5 p.m. and that is that.
SO,....I did not meet many of my goals yesterday. But, I did my best in the situations I was in. And I sure needed the sleep.
My weight this morning is 259.4
I got back from picking my son up at 3:15 a.m. then slept less than 4 hours then went to teach Sunday School.
I ate kasha cereal, organic granola, and milk on the way.
After I got home, I cleaned the living room (company was coming!) and I was starving so I ate a kasha mocha bar, then slept about 20 minutes.
Company came (my cousin from NJ and his parents) and took my family out to eat at my dad's favorite restaurant---Bill's catfish. There is a lot of emotion behind this. My dad has been having chemo for about 9 months or so and it killed his taste buds. He was miserable, not being able to taste and was losing a lot of weight. He decided to quit the chemo because he thought living a shorter time and being able to eat was better than living a longer time and being miserable. However, the day we went in to officially quit chemo, we got tests results back that said his cancer was growing. He compromised on a 3 week break from chemo. During that time, he has regained his taste. We decided we all needed to eat at dad's favorite place, as one big happy family, one more time while he can enjoy it...before he starts chemo back. So........yeah........Bill's catfish.........where EVERY SINGLE PLATTER you can choose from is deep fried.
I ordered a HALF order of the catfish plate and a side salad, which was basically a cup of iceburg.
I probably got in 60 oz of water during the day.
I went home and later had a fiber one bar.
Then I fell asleep at 5 p.m. and that is that.
SO,....I did not meet many of my goals yesterday. But, I did my best in the situations I was in. And I sure needed the sleep.
My weight this morning is 259.4
Saturday, August 10, 2013
food diary 8-10-13 Saturda
Today was a very hard day. You don't want to know all the details. I'll sum it up this way: I didn't get my exercise in (boo) and I won't be in bed by 10 p.m. because we are leaving the house at 10:30 to go on a 3.5 hour (round trip) drive to pick up my son who has spent the week 15 hours away. (Other people drove him 15. The least I can do is pick him up. Even if it is in the middle of the night.
So, in summary, I didn't hit all of my goals 100% on target, but I still did really well.
Breakfast.....430 cals:
kashi cereal, milk, banana
Lunch...550 calories:
homemade veggie soup, crackers, fiber one bar
Snack.....130 cals
kashi mocha bar
Supper....720 cals
4 slices pizza hut medium pizza with chicken, green pepper, onion and only half the cheese
Later...210 cals
half pb&j on flax bread
I was in range for calories, protein and fiber and I had approx. 100 oz water today.
So, in summary, I didn't hit all of my goals 100% on target, but I still did really well.
Breakfast.....430 cals:
kashi cereal, milk, banana
Lunch...550 calories:
homemade veggie soup, crackers, fiber one bar
Snack.....130 cals
kashi mocha bar
Supper....720 cals
4 slices pizza hut medium pizza with chicken, green pepper, onion and only half the cheese
Later...210 cals
half pb&j on flax bread
I was in range for calories, protein and fiber and I had approx. 100 oz water today.
Friday, August 9, 2013
food diary Friday 8-9-13
Woke at 7:30.
Weighed 260.4 (down 1.6 in challenge, 10.4 to go in challenge)
Exercise: Rode bike 2.4 miles. It took 24 minutes.
9:05 breakfast....430 calories:
kasha cereal, milk, banana
11:30 lunch....613 calories:
turkey and cheese open face sandwich on one slice flax seed bread
half an apple
14 grapes
fiber one bar
1 T peanut butter
2:30 p.m....snack 185 calories:
protein bar
6:00 p.m.....supper....902 calories
smoothie made from milk and greek yogurt and peanut butter,
half ounce cheddar cheese
2 cups homemade veggie soup
10 saltine crackers
Stayed in range for calories, protein and fiber.
Weighed 260.4 (down 1.6 in challenge, 10.4 to go in challenge)
Exercise: Rode bike 2.4 miles. It took 24 minutes.
9:05 breakfast....430 calories:
kasha cereal, milk, banana
11:30 lunch....613 calories:
turkey and cheese open face sandwich on one slice flax seed bread
half an apple
14 grapes
fiber one bar
1 T peanut butter
2:30 p.m....snack 185 calories:
protein bar
6:00 p.m.....supper....902 calories
smoothie made from milk and greek yogurt and peanut butter,
half ounce cheddar cheese
2 cups homemade veggie soup
10 saltine crackers
Stayed in range for calories, protein and fiber.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
food diary Thur. 8-8-13
Woke at 7:31
Weighed 262.0
@8:30...walked/jogged 3 miles at track...took 55 minutes
@10:30 breakfast...672 calories:
1 cup kashi cereal
15 grams walnuts
1 cup milk
half pb&j on flax seed bread
@2:00 lunch....683 calories:
1 can of tuna with
1.5 T light miracle whip,
1 T sweet relish,
and one boiled egg.
6 triscuits
1 oz cheddar cheese
1 fiber one bar
10 grapes
@6:15 supper...756 caloris
4 ounces boneless skinless chicken breast
1 king's Hawaiian roll
half cup corn
1 cup green beans
half cup stove top stuffing
1 cup 50/50 mix (greens and spinach)
1T ranch dressing
protein bar
100 ounces of water
I did stay in range for calories, protein and fiber. I met all of my goals today.
Weighed 262.0
@8:30...walked/jogged 3 miles at track...took 55 minutes
@10:30 breakfast...672 calories:
1 cup kashi cereal
15 grams walnuts
1 cup milk
half pb&j on flax seed bread
@2:00 lunch....683 calories:
1 can of tuna with
1.5 T light miracle whip,
1 T sweet relish,
and one boiled egg.
6 triscuits
1 oz cheddar cheese
1 fiber one bar
10 grapes
@6:15 supper...756 caloris
4 ounces boneless skinless chicken breast
1 king's Hawaiian roll
half cup corn
1 cup green beans
half cup stove top stuffing
1 cup 50/50 mix (greens and spinach)
1T ranch dressing
protein bar
100 ounces of water
I did stay in range for calories, protein and fiber. I met all of my goals today.
Enough of this
Today I weigh 262 pounds.
As faithful readers will know, I had a great year last year and reached 81 pounds lost (with 60 remaining). I weighed 250. Then last October my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and my world has been upside down with one thing after another and repeats of the same stress, over and over and over.
I regained 16 pounds.
I felt like I had regained all 81. Fat. Defeated.
And I fought with those 16 pounds every day since then. Some days I had the victory. Most days I was pinned and couldn't get up. Or wouldn't get up.
Anyway.......................I'm currently, as of today,12 pounds above my lowest. AND I AM TIRED OF IT. Enough of this. I'm tired of the yo-yo.
I know what to do. (Your "what to do" may be different than mine. That's ok. I know me. And I've been very successful in losing weight before, so I know what works for me).
I have to go public. I have to be out there. I have to make some rules to get me out of the yo-yo string. I have to start reporting to my weight loss mentor again. I hate that. I want to be able to do it without someone holding my hand.
However, I'd rather hold someone's hand and get fit than sit here alone and get fatter.
So, here it is.
THE "Enough-of-this,-get-back-on-track-because-you-are-too-awesome-to-be-this-fat plan."
*This plan shall be in effect from today, August 8th, until the day I get back down to my lowest weight-loss-in-progress weight of 250.0 pounds. Then I have permission to re-evaluate or tweak my plan but NOT UNTIL THEN.
*I will not eat breakfast unless that day's entire meal plan has been written out. Preferably it will be written the night before.
*I will follow my "5K training exercise plan" that is on my kitchen wall, no matter what.
*I will drink more than 100 ounces of water per day.
*I will not consume liquid calories, with the exception of a fruit smoothie (homemade).
*I will not eat desserts (I MAY eat fiber one bars, kasha bars, protein bars or pb&j on flax bread, which some may consider dessert, but I do not). In other words, no ice cream, cakes, pies, candy, junk.....
*I will consume a minimum of 5 fruits and vegetable servings per day.
*I will stay within prescribed limits for calories, protein and fiber EVERY day.
*I will post what I ate and my exercise on my blog each day.
*I will email my food/exercise diary to my weight loss mentor each day.
*I will take 3 minutes (or more) each day in silent meditation about my weight loss and health.
*I will be in bed by 10 p.m. each night.
Thanks for reading!
As faithful readers will know, I had a great year last year and reached 81 pounds lost (with 60 remaining). I weighed 250. Then last October my dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer and my world has been upside down with one thing after another and repeats of the same stress, over and over and over.
I regained 16 pounds.
I felt like I had regained all 81. Fat. Defeated.
And I fought with those 16 pounds every day since then. Some days I had the victory. Most days I was pinned and couldn't get up. Or wouldn't get up.
Anyway.......................I'm currently, as of today,12 pounds above my lowest. AND I AM TIRED OF IT. Enough of this. I'm tired of the yo-yo.
I know what to do. (Your "what to do" may be different than mine. That's ok. I know me. And I've been very successful in losing weight before, so I know what works for me).
I have to go public. I have to be out there. I have to make some rules to get me out of the yo-yo string. I have to start reporting to my weight loss mentor again. I hate that. I want to be able to do it without someone holding my hand.
However, I'd rather hold someone's hand and get fit than sit here alone and get fatter.
So, here it is.
THE "Enough-of-this,-get-back-on-track-because-you-are-too-awesome-to-be-this-fat plan."
*This plan shall be in effect from today, August 8th, until the day I get back down to my lowest weight-loss-in-progress weight of 250.0 pounds. Then I have permission to re-evaluate or tweak my plan but NOT UNTIL THEN.
*I will not eat breakfast unless that day's entire meal plan has been written out. Preferably it will be written the night before.
*I will follow my "5K training exercise plan" that is on my kitchen wall, no matter what.
*I will drink more than 100 ounces of water per day.
*I will not consume liquid calories, with the exception of a fruit smoothie (homemade).
*I will not eat desserts (I MAY eat fiber one bars, kasha bars, protein bars or pb&j on flax bread, which some may consider dessert, but I do not). In other words, no ice cream, cakes, pies, candy, junk.....
*I will consume a minimum of 5 fruits and vegetable servings per day.
*I will stay within prescribed limits for calories, protein and fiber EVERY day.
*I will post what I ate and my exercise on my blog each day.
*I will email my food/exercise diary to my weight loss mentor each day.
*I will take 3 minutes (or more) each day in silent meditation about my weight loss and health.
*I will be in bed by 10 p.m. each night.
Thanks for reading!
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