Week 11, Wednesday, supper and snack and a bad choice.

Hubby came home and said he wanted pizza. I said "fine, but I don't have enough cals to get full on pizza, so I am still going to cook" and I did. I had a hamburger patty made from lean meat and cooked with onions, topped with bbq sauce and ketchup, and also half cup baked beans and a whole can of green beans. I was hungry! The plan was to eat, bathe, and go to bed even though it wasn't even dark under the table yet, so I included my "bedtime snack" calories in this meal by throwing in a fiber one bar. This meal totaled 693 calories.

Then the pizza arrived and it looked awesome! Hand tossed crust, pepperoni with extra cheese from Fat Boy's Pizza (that really is the name of the place). I was having a mental war with myself over this pizza. I was NOT hungry....I mean, you see the pic that shows what all I had just eaten! I was just WANTING it. Just because it tasted good.

I hang my head in shame and admit that I put a piece (not the whole box, like the picture implies) of pizza on a plate and took it to the bathroom with me (of all places). I told myself that I would relax in the hot bathtub and eat it. I think I was really trying to hide from the rest of my family saying "I thought you said you didn't have enough calories left for pizza?"

I couldn't enjoy it for being so guilt ridden, but I ate it anyway. I ate half of it and then put it away and said I wouldn't eat the other half. A few minutes later, I rationalized eating the other half by absorbing the grease from the pizza with toilet paper. (well...........we don't keep paper towels in the bathroom silly!) Then I ate it. Anyway, I needed to admit it.

I had 2,373 calories today.

.................moving on.......................putting this behind me..................making an effort to feel better (but still planning to go to bed by 9:30)....................and doing some laundry.

There's a song I sing sometimes that is so true:

I'm an overcomer.......by the blood of Jesus

I'm an overcomer......through His holy Name

By myself I am nothing,

But in Him I can do all things

I'm an overcomer...in Jesus Name.

I may have lost the battle (supper) but I haven't lost the war!