NO. Just no.

I have really been on a roll, you know. Eating healthy and not even craving junk. Exercising and enjoying it. Feeling energetic. Losing weight.

Then I allowed myself to eat too much pie on Thanksgiving and while my weight is ok, my cravings and energy level are NOT. I have craved sweets and carbs and artificial junk that isn't really even food. I need to watch another food documentary and get repulsed at that kind of food again.

Eating pie on one day (Thanksgiving) got me out of the groove that I was in and I'm like a zipper that is out of whack and doesn't want to zip right.

NO. JUST NO. I will NOT allow myself to stay out of whack. NO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>. no.

I've had a headache for days. I have had no energy, wanted to sleep, sleep and sleep, and have felt sick. I have eaten cookies and white bread and a fake burger from McDonalds. I haven't gone over my calories (because I have to report my calories ever night and I don't want to look like a flop) but I reach the end of my calories before I reach the end of my day and I go to bed hungry. Right now it is 2:15 p.m., I am hungry and I have 500 something calories left for the rest of the day. wow.

Ok, that's enough bellyaching.

Now, to come up with a plan. Because I refuse to stay here. You lose weight when you are giving it ALL YOU HAVE and you start to regain it when you fail to give it all you have. I need a plan. A get-back-into-the-groove plan.

All I know is to do the things I know to do. Eat fruits, veggies, chicken. Nothing fake. Eat normal portions. Exercise. Keep reporting to my weight loss mentor each night. Drink water. Think positive thoughts. Do it regardless of how I feel or what I crave or what sounds better.

Just do it.

Because I refuse to go back to the old me. NO. THe answer is just no and that is final.

Yes, I've been talking to myself here. :)

waaaa

Today is a day that if I didn't have kids and responsibilities, I would just stay in bed. If I get to feeling much worse, I may just stay in bed anyway. I just don't feel well! waaaaa!

But I had a couple of updates to make:

Last night I lost a measly 0.25 pounds and I barely lost that. Thanksgiving was the only day that I didn't count calories but I guess I overdid it enough on that one day to mess up the whole week. I have struggled all week trying to get my weight back down so that I would have a loss last night. So, 0.25 pounds.... 10th week of losses in a row. That makes 17 pounds in 10 weeks and 42 pounds from my highest weight ever. I should be encouraged. But for some reason, I'm not. Probably just because I'm sick. blah.

Also, a TOPS chapter about 3 hours from me asked if I would come speak to them! They would pay for my gas. Since the vehicle I drive can't travel that far, I can't go unless my hubby happens to be off work on the day they want me, so it isn't likely to happen, but still, I was very honored to be asked! I don't really consider myself a speaker.

.............I hear someone in the bathroom........that means one of my monkeys are up and I need to improve my mood and be a good mom. *sigh* AND we are just about out of groceries, so I have to get out in the freezing cold and go to the store. *whine, whine*

5K training reference

This is basically for my own reference, so feel free to ignore it. I want to be able to go back and see progress.

5K times:

Approx 11-18-11, 65 minutes. Jogged the home side bleachers on every lap except the first and last. Stopped once to fix my shoe.

Thanksgiving Day 2011, 55 minutes, 14 seconds. Jogged the visitor's side bleachers on every lap and jogged the home side bleachers on every lap except the first.

January 6, 2012, 1 hour and 3 minutes...for 2 reasons: #1 I haven't walked at the track in a long time and even though I've been doing the Leslie Sansone walk at home dvd, it isn't the same. So, I'm out of practice. (Let this be a good reminder to be consistent with track walking when the weather allows). Reason #2 is because there were other people there walking and I started out too quickly, trying to make myself look more fit than I am (run your OWN race, silly girl, not someone else's)and then at the 3/4 mile mark, my calves totally cramped up on me and I had to sit on the bleachers a LONG time. I started to go home. It hurt! So, that's why my time is so bad today.

March 1, 2012: 52 minutes and 53 seconds @ Shape Fitness (no jogging)

March 22, 2012: 48 minutes and 4 seconds (for 3 miles) or 50 minutes 4 seconds for 3.14 miles. I walked quite a bit at a peppy 4.2 mph and jogged at about 5 mph twice. @Shape Fitness

April 5, 2012: 51 minutes and 23 seconds @ Shape Fitness. I jogged twice but was having bra issues. I walked at 3.7 for the majority of it. Today was Ron's funeral. I didn't really "feel" like walking but I knew I would feel better if I did and I need to take advantage of all the gym times that I can. I also don't need to eat anything else today!

May 9, 2012: 47 minutes, 40 seconds. I was really pushing myself. I got up to 6 mph once. I jogged for about 35 seconds at a time. This was hard.

Nov. 1,2012...46 min, 16 seconds at shape fitness. It was the day of dad's first visit at the cancer center, so I had a lot of emotion in it and pr'd even though I haven't 5K'd in months.

***It's been a long time. I've had a baby. Let's do this AGAIN.****

May 31, 2014 45 minute mark= 2.25 miles. That is all I could do. I hadn't been to the gym in probably over a year.

June 7, 2014 45 minute mark= 2.30 I jogged a bit because I thought I wasn't going to get as good of time as last week.

5K on treadmill= 1hr, 1 min, 38 sec

June 2014 Founder's Day 5K- 53 min, 55 seconds

October 5, 2014- Spirit of Survival (284 pounds) 53 min, 10 sec

DON'T be a glutton today.

Here are some thoughts about the day that I put on facebook:

Gluttony is not going to make this a better holiday. Eat like a normal, healthy person because that is what you are becoming, right? Well then, act like one.

Make your life a story worth telling.

Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction.

Don't forget to be awesome.

Be your best.

Today can either be tomorrow's regret, or tomorrow's motivation to keep going. You choose.

I would rather say "I did it" than "I gave up".

When you have *changed your lifestyle*, you DON'T just "take a day off" from that. Do you choose to stay changed today? I DO.

Belly button

My belly button is changing. Did yours as you lost weight? It's just a random thing I thought of and thought I'd ask. LOL

Last night we had a church Thanksgiving dessert party. (why do all parties have to revolve around food??) I visited with friends and ate two KASHI GRANOLA BARS while my friends and family ate pies and cookies. :) A lady in our church told me that I was looking smaller and healthier and that really made my night. :)

And again......

I lost again :) It was 1.75 this week, my 9th week of losing in a roll! It amazes me to think that 10 weeks ago, I was 16.75 pounds heavier than this.

There is NO WAY I am going to let pecan pie and other junk foods knock me off this! NO WAY.

Btw, according to google, the average *small* piece of pecan pie (and really, who eats a SMALL piece?) is about 450 calories. 450. yikes.

Ted's

This past weekend, hubby took me to a Bed & Breakfast and a weekend out. I enjoyed it very much! He spoiled me completely: buying me anything I wanted. I ended up getting new running shoes, inserts for those shoes (because I tend to walk weird apparently LOL), new socks, a scrapbook, scrapbook paper, a picture frame, a book...and the list goes on. We went to eat at Ted's (Mexican food) which was a bit selfish of me because he is not a fan of Mexican food but it is my favorite and I had been wanting it for a long time! I did NOT eat the cheese sauce, although it was very tempting! These pictures are of us at Ted's. :)

On another note, I'm loving what the wii is telling me, as far as weight goes. It said 287.7 this morning! Of course, that isn't official TOPS weight. That won't be until Monday night. Regardless, I'm loving it. ;)

2 tenths from the 280's

This morning I was 290.1...just two tenths from the 280's. I'm excited about that!

15 pounds in 8 weeks

And....last night was my 8th week of weight loss. I lost 2 pounds this week, bringing me to 40 pounds below my highest weight. Fifteen of those pounds were lost in the past 8 weeks. Not to sound full of myself, but GO ME!!!!!!!! I'm so glad I FINALLY got my head wrapped around healthy living! I love it!

7th week in a row :)

Yesterday's weigh-in gave me my 7th weekly weight loss in a row. It was tiny. I will take it anyway! I'm going to adjust my calories a bit and maybe change up my exercise and see if I can't make the scales show a larger loss this coming week.

Calorie change: dropping 250 more calories.

Exercise change/plan:
Tuesday: 45 minute walk while listening to my favorite exercise songs--jog on the chorus of every other song.
Wednesday: (rest day)
Thursday: Leslie Sansone dvd--3 miles
Friday: 3 mile walk with a tiny amount of jogging....at the track.
Saturday: pick whichever type I want as long as I get in 45 minutes of exercise or 3 miles of walking (We will be coming back from our anniversary trip on this day)
Sunday: 3 mile walk with some jogging....at the track.

Cholesterol and 5K commitment

When I donate blood, they send me a letter stating my cholesterol level. A year and a half ago, it was 200 (that is the line where they say "hey! That's TOO high!). Three months later it was 191. Three months later (I believe that's how long it was..anyway...) it was still 191. Then I missed a donation and so it was about 6 months down the road, this past month, and it was 151! Yes! Of course, I know it has everything to do with GREASE which I now consider an enemy. Weight loss isn't the ONLY benefit of eating healthy!

I have a dear friend who is a KOPS (KEEPING off pounds sensibly--she's at goal weight)...and who is the coordinator for a yearly 5K run. It is in June. I walk 3 miles almost every day now, so I know I can do this. BUT I don't want to come in last, ya know? LOL Right now I probably would. But anyway...I stuck my neck out and committed to her that I would run the 5K next June. And so....yes....I will! I have plenty of time to work up to a faster speed and as I lose weight along the way it will get even easier. I plan to time one 5K each week and and see how my time improves. I'm also going to captain a team and I'm trying to get as many TOPS members as I can to commit. Right now, I've only gotten ONE tops person to commit. Sadly, it seems like everyone has this "eh, I can't do that" attitude. I was like "Hello? You have 7 months to get ready for this! Do you really think that 7 months from now you still won't be able to walk 3.1 miles? If so, that's pretty negative and unambitious thinking." I of course wouldn't say it that way, but I think it LOL. It saddens me to see how many TOPS members aren't really trying. They come to TOPS each week and they visit and then go out to eat with their friends but they AREN'T TRYING to get healthy (I'm talking in general here-- I know there are a few here and there that ARE going after it with all they have). Anyway, it is frustrating. It makes you want to shake them and say "Get ahold of yourself already!!!" BUT.................................not very long ago, I was in their shoes. It's not something someone can shake into you. It's something that has to come from within yourself. I'm loving the progress and changes I have made and continue to make. I have changed more in the past 6 months that I have EVER. I just wish I could give that to other people. somehow.

That was a really run-on paragraph. Oh well.

Have a great day!

And I dare you-----COMMIT to a run then tell me about it :)

(p.s. The same KOPS friend wants me to commit to a Christmas 5K (about a month from now) in a town about an hour from here and she is really pushing for me to do it. I COULD do it but would have to walk it. I might come in last. I still considered it. But hubby thinks I should wait. He thinks it would be too much and too cold and too far away and that I'm not ready. So.... we will see.)

The Thanksgiving/Christmas Plan.

Here's the plan I am committing to: the day before Thanksgiving and the day before Christmas Eve (the day my family celebrates), I may eat some of the goodies I am preparing BUT I MUST journal every bite and count every calorie and NOT go over my calories for the day. The day OF Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, I will not journal and I can eat what I want BUT I MUST still get in a fruit and at least 5 servings of veggies. I will NOT have sweets AT ALL for 5 days after the holiday (lest the holidays start me on a sugar binge!) I will still drink at least 132 ounces of water every day and I will keep my regular workout routine through it all (which is walking at least 3 miles or doing at least 45 minutes of dancing/workout video every day except Wednesday.)

So, that's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

What is your plan?

You are awesome (I am too).

I am not a morning person. I could just sleep and sleep and sleep. I am a night owl.

However, I woke this morning at 5 when hubby was getting ready for bed and now here it is 6:35 and I'm dressed and awake. hum. I'm trying to decide if I should crawl back into bed (clothes and all LOL) until 8 or if I should start on my daily list of things to do.

Regardless, I just thought I'd let you know that you are awesome and that you deserve a healthy body. (I'm talking to myself as well) I hope you make awesome choices today!

another loss! woot!

I had my 6th loss in a row tonight! 12.75 pounds gone in 6 weeks. Whoo hoo!*happy, happy* (and tired....goodnight!) ~Amy

4 week measurements.

I got a new tracker book and started it on October 1st.

Today, my book said "You have completed 4 weeks. It is time to take your measurements again."

I was happy to report a loss of just over half an inch in my bust, just over one and a half inches lost in my waist,and just over one inch lost in my hips.

It's not huge. But it's something! I'll take it!

Happy music.

I don't know how to link youtube videos but I wanted to post 3 songs that are so inspiring to me and that I've been listening to every day. :) Music can be really inspiring and helps me to stay motivated. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWeRQtj6s2o Today is your Day by Shania Twain. My husband heard this at the gym and came home and played it for me and told me to listen to it every day. It is so true! We CAN do it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfP8ygGSMBc I Can by Minnutes. I can do anything today!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpI6Ed02A9o Brand New Day by Tim Myers. (I ignore the milk & cookies portion of this song LOL)

~*Be happy. Be good to you.*~

On an unrelated side note, I've gone on a green bean craze lately LOL I guess that is a good thing ;)

5 weeks of losses in a row :)

I plan to post a longer, better (with pictures) post later but I just wanted to quickly say that I had another small loss tonight at TOPS (-0.25 pound, but last week was rocking at -6 pounds..anyway...) AND that makes 5 weeks straight of weight loss for me. I think I was hindered this week by that lovely time of the month and emotional roller coaster rides, etc..... but I know that I was good...so yeah...

..............keeping on keeping on....... I hope you are too! :)

pics of the big jean skirt & the smaller size skirt

I got the new jean skirt out of lay-a-way. It is cute because it is super long and I have a hard time finding skirts that are super long on me because I am 6 feet tall! So, this was a rare find.

The main thing I like about it is that it is a size smaller-- size 24. It is not big on me and it doesn't really make me look thinner BUT it is a size smaller and I feel like wearing a button that says "This skirt is a size smaller than my last one" just so people will know. LOL

The other pic is me in the old size 26 jean skirt, which I can still wear ok but is really big and I can take off without unbuttoning it. I'm looking forward to the day when my hips will no longer hold it up at all. That day will come!

I'm feeling kind of bloated today (time of the month) so, I'm not feeling much smaller today. The scales were up a pound today. BUT I HAVE BEEN AWESOME with my eating/water/exercise, so I know it will be gone soon.

the big jean skirt & the cutie jean skirt

I'm just *thrilled* with the way I'm losing. It makes me want to do more to promote more weight loss! What energy comes from success and happiness! :)

My jean skirt can now be taken off without even unbuttoning it! It's way too big and just kind of hanging on me. A week or so ago, I put a new jean skirt in lay-a-way. It was more expensive than I usually spend on a jean skirt ($40) but it is SOOOoo cute and I thought "hey...hubby spends $48 per month on the gym for him for his health. I can spend $40 per month on me if I am losing weight too. But I didn't have $40 LOL so in lay-a-way it went and I hope to get it out within a week. But now I'm wondering if I should have put the next size down in lay-a-way and I'm hoping when I get it out, they will still have whatever size I need, so I can exchange it if need be.

Wow........losing weight is fun :)

119 days later....

119 days ago, I said "I will drink no soda, eat no fast food and no dessert for 118 days". I made it! It is over!

I don't know that I will go back to drinking soda. I hate to start again when it is out of my system now. We will see. I know I won't be having any today.

Today I will have one cup of mocha ice cream. I have wanted mocha ice cream the past 118 days LOL.

I lost 14 pounds during those 118 days. It would have been more if I would have been exercising, which I didn't start being consistent with until Oct. 1st. Many of those pounds were lost in the past 2 weeks.

But even though I didn't lose a ton of weight, I have proven to myself that I DO have self-control and self-discipline when I choose to exercise it.

I CAN do hard things. I AM strong.

I am strong and loved and beautiful......and I'm going to be the Oklahoma TOPS queen.