"Stay at HOME" mom

You know, I don't work outside the home. But my life has been ever so busy lately. I feel like I am never home. Much less at home with time to do things that I like to do such as sew or scrapbook.....cook.

Looking ahead, I don't think I have a day that I can actually stay at home until next Thursday! eerrrr

Anyway................... "don't let tomorrow keep you from enjoying today".

I'm thankful for RIGHT NOW. I enjoy sitting at the computer, visiting with my cyber friends and reading stuff that interests me. I am enjoying some "me" time, which is much needed.

I also need sleep. TOmorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.....hopefully I will be in bed better tomorrow.

But right now, it is time for 30 minutes of hot cocoa and "me" time.

We went to Oklahoma City today for dd's eye exam. She has (had) a lazy eye since birth. For quite a while, we had appointments every 3 months........ 2 hour drive........not fun. She has improved over the years. Today I was told that they are going to weaken her Rx again (yay!) because her eyesight has improved so much! She doens't have to go back for A YEAR! There is no need for patching or dialation drops because her lazy eye is pretty much gone. Oh, and she is no longer a candidate for the surgery that they previously wanted her to have but I said "no" to. So, that was a great visit.

ok..........going to find my big, comfy (and ugly) gown, microwave some hot cocoa and be totally "selfish" (lol) for the next 30 minutes!

thanks for reading!

What happened to me?

Today was productive as far as getting a lot accomplished around the house. It was not really productive as far as health goals. I did make an effort SOME.... such as exercising 15 minutes (better than the zero minutes I had been doing)....and following my eating plan for the first 2/3 of the day.

Sigh

What happened to me? I was so "on top of it" for the first couple of months of this journey. I walked laps even when it was very inconvienient and it was such a priority. I lost 24 pounds! Why have I struggled for the past month or two? What happened to me? How can I get it back? hum..........

I need a willpower booster shot!

Maybe posting everyday will help. I need to post....even when I don't have anything to say that I would be proud of.

Maybe when school starts and everything is in a routine...maybe then I will have my groove back. I need my groove back.

It's just not as much fun posting when you are down and out.

Hugs,
that "ho-hum" TOPS lady

Thursday

Well, here's the deal. Saturday at "fun day" we paid $5 for this terrible lunch buffet. I am picky. There were tons of various salads that I don't even know the name of (think green noodle salads and salads consisting of meat, mayo, apples, and grapes). I put ritz crackers, chicken salad and banana nut bread on my plate. I only ate the chicken from the chicken salad...I didn't think I wanted to try the other mystery ingredients.

My TOPS "friends" from my chapter were sitting at the table with me. I made a comment about how I wasn't getting my $5 worth. They said "you don't like honeydew? you don't like strawberries? you don't like pasta salad? ....and on and on"

Then the comment came:

"YOU WILL NEVER BE THE QUEEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE THINGS".

That was very hurtful, but I know they are wrong.

To top it all off, the little bit of food that I did eat made me sick and I was sick for about a day and a half. yuck.

I went to TOPS on Tuesday and had a 2 pound gain--- 309.5---- *sigh*. That was not very good.

So, I have been down in the dumps and having a hard time getting motivated.

Last night I made a meal plan for today:
B: oatmeal, eggs, toast
Sn: McD's ice cream
L: frozen pizza and corn
Sn: 1/2 cup orange sherbet
S: 2 microwaved burritos
Sn:1/2 cup sherbet and 2 pb crackers
total of 1900 cals

Lets hope I stick to it. My stickiness has been lacking lately.

I'm sorry I am behind on reading your blog posts....I will try to catch up soon!

I'm not dead.

I thought I had better pop in here and let you know that I didn't die. :)

I felt bad, physically, for a couple of days. Then I felt bad mentally.......I will go into details later...but it basically sums up to a rude remark that was directed to me at "fun day" and also being depressed over a 2 pound gain....and really not feeling "in the diet groove" *sigh*

So.........I just didn't post.

But I will start posting again.

Right at the moment I am super busy. My school book order needs to be called in within the next hour and 15 minutes. I don't have my order list ready. It is almost 7 and I haven't even started cooking supper...AND I promised the kids that I would watch a movie with them after supper..

so...........I don't really have time to post.............but I wanted to let you know that I am alive and I am thankful for friends who missed me!

food poisoning?

Amy is recovering from the chicken salad (or whatever that mystery food was) that the old ladies fed her for lunch today at the TOPS area "fun" day. She is going to bed now..............more later when she feels human again.

This has been a public service announcement. ;) LOL

....and this is how it went....

Daughter was going to vaccuum but I think I have too much hair clogged on the roller because the belt was making "that smell". We decided we'd rather have dirty floors than a stinky house.

Son mopped with the swiffer sweeper. I was thinking about letting "mopping" be his daily chore for this next school year but after today, maybe not. Mopping requires a tad bit of effort and pressure to do any good and frankly, son had the excitement about mopping that squidward usually has about work.

I dropped the kids off at 2 and went to the clinic.

They had built a new waiting room. You have to wait IN LINE (in order of arrival, in other words) for quite some time before the main waiting area is opened to us. I got there 3 hours before time for the doctor to be there and yet the waiting room was CRAMMED and there were NO chairs and I was squished in a corner with a nice black man and a severely obese woman who wasn't wearing nearly enough clothes.

The woman kept complaining about how sick she was. I was thinking "Lucky me, I get to be squished up next to someone who may be contagious with who knows what". But then........

......................then..............Oh dear, it was bad................then........................she started passing gas!

She was just standing there and we had been having a conversation about her job at McDonalds and about how sick she had been and then she just starts letting her rip!

Really, how do you make conversation with someone like that? What do you say? I said nothing. I pretended I was deaf and didn't hear (or smell) a thing. I worried that the other 50 people in the room would think it was me! (me=the severly obese woman who IS wearing enough clothes! too many clothes, actually, for the hot waiting room)

Anyway, the lady ended up going home before she even got to see the doctor.

***(changing subject)***

I ran out of hairspray. Today my hair looked like it did in 5th grade when I got that bad perm. *sigh* I didn't have my hairspray to tame it! It's my own fault, though. I was waiting for a good sale to come along. Since I've started couponing, I almost refuse to pay full price for things. Instead, I run out of things and go around looking like a goon. LOL (I did break down and buy some later in the day)

Speaking of being cheap>>>>>>I showed up at the clinic at 2 and realized that I was going to be there for HOURS and that I didn't even bring a drink. I don't dare leave, though, else I lose my place in line. So, at 7 p.m. when it was all over, I was SO THIRSTY and hungry.

The only money I have right now is the money for the house payment, so I knew I *had* to be thrifty (as if the sheer thrill of saving money wasn't enough motivation). I went to walgreens because I had a $5 walgreens register reward which spends like cash there. I looked at the soda. $1.79 for a 20 ounce! and I was so thirsty I could down 3 of them. BUT THEN....I saw that the 2 liters were on sale for 99 cents! (nevermind the fact that they were hot and I had no cup with me to pour into). Yep. I did. I got a 2 liter and drank straight from the bottle in the parking lot (after looking around to see if I was being watched) and I also drank again at a red light (I was SO thirsty!).

So..........if you saw a large lady in a mini van today....and she had frizzy wild hair and she was drinking from a 2 liter.....then you probably saw me! Wave next time! ;)

flying

I'm flllyyyyiiinnngggg! :)

I will probably NOT be able to post tonight (trying to turn the computer off at 10....I'm not usually successful, but I am trying) so I am posting about my day now, at 1 p.m.

In an hour, I need to drop the kids off at my grandma's house. I have to go to the clinic for a blood pressure pill refill. I do not have insurance. I go to the free clinic that is sponsored by a church. The good thing is, the doctor visit and the meds are FREE. The not so good thing is that a line forms early in the day and you have to be there super early or you won't be seen. It takes hours. Seriously. Sometimes 6 hours or so.

Now, to explain "flying". It has 2 meanings in this post:
1. Flying=getting things done so quickly that your feet barely have time to touch the floor..zzoom zoom
2. Flying= A flylady.net word that means "finally loving yourself" and it also involves getting the house cleaned up, your "to-do" list done, doing your best and not worrying about the rest.

So far today, I have:

dressed and done my hair

cleaned the bathroom

washed and dried a load of laundry

prepared breakfast (it was easy), lunch (cooked hamburgers for the kids to take to grandma's- she will be babysitting at 2), and supper (hubby will pick the kids up from grandmas after he gets off of work and I have supper cooked and on warm in the crock pot)

put away the dry dishes

picked up 27 stray things from the living room

checked email and blogs

washed dishes for 16 minutes (what? you don't time yourself when you wash dishes? *big smile*)

prayed and read a chapter

went to the grocery store

balanced the checkbook

checked and sorted the mail




And now I have a little less than an hour til time to go. Here's what I hope to accomplish in that hour:

check to see if dd has clean underclothes. She is still in pjs. I'm thinking I need to wash some out and throw them in the dryer for her. That girl changes underclothes OFTEN and it is hard to keep them washed.

cook rolls

brush/braid dd's hair (not a fun chore. she is so tenderheaded)

tell the kids to get dressed

throw some towels in the washer

7 minutes general "clean up" of the house

vaccuum? mop? (I kind of doubt I will have time to do that before 2, but it is on my list nevertheless)



well.........its not getting done by me sitting here.......so I guess I'll take off!

water is on

It is 3:49 p.m. and our water is back on, so we can shower for church at home instead of grandmas.

I have enjoyed my "do what you want" day. I organized my kitchen and bathroom cabinets. I did ZERO housework! (except I did make the bed....without thinking LOL) I sat in my chair and read a book. I looked through my coupons. :)

The kids are painting on posterboard (that I got at walgreens for 9 cents this week!).

After I finish reading blogs, I am going to do 5 minute cycles of dishes/laundry/ironing and start the baths and everyone getting ready for church routine. ahhhhhh.........its been great!

Thank you for all of the wonderful comments!

We have no water! whoo hoo!

Well, apparently the city is working on the water lines because we have no water. That means I have a good excuse to not do dishes or laundry! whoo hoo! I am ignoring my "to-do" list today and just doing what I WANT to do....such as organizing my kitchen cabinets. I haven't even brushed my hair. oh well. I don't care. Today is "do what you want to do day". LOL

I will have to wake to reality around 3 p.m. and iron our church clothes and if the water is still off we will go to grandma's to shower.

Making mountains out of mole hills.

Today has been busy busy busy and somewhat stressful but at least everyone's attitudes were better today!

*I* am having a "make a big deal out of small deals" day. LOL

I keep beating myself up because I goofed at the checkout (still doing the coupon thing) and paid $5 for something that I could have gotten for free. It was just a mistake. I need to get over it.

I rushed around running errands, and started stressing because it was time to pick the kids up from mom and I thought they were probably ready to be home and my parents were probably ready to SEND them home (LOL) and I was stressing over it.........just to get there and they aren't home. They took the kids on a picnic and will drop them off when they are done. I stressed over nothing.

I also worried that hubby was at home waiting for his good wife to feed him supper and feeling "not important" because I wasn't there. However, I'm here now and he isn't! LOL (He is either visiting with some guys at church or at his mothers, I bet)

And so I sit here in an empty house and I LOVE IT! But it won't last. lol

I just thought I'd blog about my day while I had the chance.

I lost 1 pound this week (according to tonight's TOPS weigh in). I weighed 307.5 which is about 20 pounds LESS than I weighed in March, but about 3 pounds MORE than I weighed a few weeks ago. Anyway.........at least its going down!

ta ta!

It's all your fault.

Well, today was rather busy and frustration kept knocking on my door....and it is still knocking! I think EVERYONE in my home is PMSing today...including the males and the 7 year old! LOL Everyone has a mouth on them today and is blaming each other for things that aren't their fault. eerrr. We also had a flat, went to get it fixed, paid $15 and it was flat within hours. We took it back and they weren't even apologetic. Maybe they were PMSing too. *rolls eyes*

In the chaos, I didn't keep up with my calories. Well, I kind of did mentally...I was aware of what I was eating....and I was cautious. I only ate half of my plate at supper (yay me!) and then went for a 15 minute walk.

Maybe I can make that my goal for this week. Maybe I will put "trying to be perfect in all areas of my life" on hold and just try to exercise for 15 minutes per day. I found that the desire to overeat is less when I exercise.

So, all in all, it was a pretty good day. Even if everyone was ragging.

:)

breakfast and snack

500 cal breakfast= egg burrito, cheerios, special K bar

150 cal snack= 5 pringles and 100 cal pack of shortbread cookies

Mediocere day

Today was just the average Sunday. Eat, sleep and church.

I did go up for prayer at church and just said "It's private" (not giving a reason for wanting prayer) but you all know the reason. :) I'm gonna make it!

"See" ya tomorrow!

I didn't fail.

What a struggle today was. I know I was a firecracker earlier, but by 7:38 p.m. I had eaten all of my calories for the day and I was struggling. I wanted to quit. But then I didn't want to quit. Then I did want to.

I kept arguing with myself. "I can't do it. Yes, you can. I want to eat sweets. NOW. But you don't want this to turn into another failure. Turn into? It already is! No, it isn't. You are still trying. Yeah, still trying to talk myself into allowing myself to have chocolate milk. I want chocolate milk. It will make me feel calm and peaceful. You know that big BIG green glass in the kitchen? I want it full of chocolate milk. Sit it the bedroom alone and listen to the quiet and drink the chocolate milk. But that won't help anything. Yes it will, it will make me feel happy. Only happy for 5 minutes. Isn't that better than zero minutes? So, what you are saying is that you'd rather die an early death from obesity than to skip chocolate milk for tonight? What I'm saying is that I feel like I can't do it. Others are doing it, but *I* can't. Yes, you can. You can do all things through Christ. I'm not sure that applies to me. Why? I don't know. Probably because I'm not trying. *sigh*"

So I tried to stall. I was feeling especially flimsy at supper time. I knew I would fail if I sat down to eat the steak, rolls and shells and cheese that the kids were eating (hubby was at town). So I ate 3 bites of shells and cheese and stalled by mowing the yard.

Then I ate a 400 cal supper. (completely different from what they were eating--I couldn't handle just a little of that)

After that I stalled by washing daughter's hair and putting the kids to bed. I was really really really wanting chocolate milk. I still do, actually, but anyway.........

I stalled by taking my shower. While in the shower I told myself that I could have the milk. I was feeling bad that I would have to post about failing AGAIN but I guess I wanted the milk more. So, I decided that I would have it after my shower. A huge glass. Lots of syrup. We are talking 700 calories of chocolate milk!

THEN I got out of the shower and there was the mirror staring at me and it wasn't pretty. *sigh* I flossed my teeth. I brushed my teeth. I used mouthwash. I reminded myself that if I succeeded today, it would make it that much easier to succeed tomorrow. AND I REFUSE TO DRINK THE MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that brings me to now. As soon as I finish on the computer, I am going straight to bed.

And that makes me a success! Today was the first day in I don't know how long that I exercised AND stayed within calorie limits AND drank my water! Let there be rejoicing throughout the land! *wink, wink*

Thank you for following my (sometimes very rocky) journey. Im gonna make it. It's not easy. But I will make it!

Food intake:

11 a.m.... 3 eggs, 2 toast, 1 jelly, 1 pb cracker

1 p.m....special k bar, fudgepop

3 p.m...1 cup pasta roni, 1 corn dog, 1 pb cracker

5 p.m...2 rice cakes, 1 shortbread cookie

6:30 p.m. 1 graham cracker, 1 mini hersheys

7:38 p.m. 3 bites mac and cheese (not pictured)

8:45 p.m. tuna salad, 2 toast, 1 jelly, half an apple(also not pictured, because it will only let me upload 5 pictures)

Feeling like a firework! *boom!*

Yesterday I felt like poo; today I feel like a firework! (yikes, I hope that doesn't mean I'm bipolar or something!) I think it is because I got my 10 hours in last night AND I know I get to stay at home today and accomplish the things I really like to accomplish. :)

Anyway...having a great day............

Sean-- you are right. And I am buckling down with my calories and I WILL WILL WILL get a workout in today! I will! :) Hold me to it! I'm getting back on track.

Bonnie---it amazes me that you and I are so far apart and yet we have so many connections! We must have been meant to meet each other!

Pam--- You bet, I AM enjoying my housewifey day! Thanks for the good wishes!

I hope you all have a great great great Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poo

No....THAT is Pooh. P-O-O-H. I'm not talking about Pooh; I'm talking about Poo. Understand now? ;)

Poo is what I feel like. *yawn* That messed up sleep last night is really messing up my afternoon. I did take a little nap, but POO is still the feeling that is going on. I really do have fierce sleep requirements in order to feel well!

I enjoyed going to the yard sales today. I paid my electric bill. I went to 2 grocery stores and I have all of my shopping done for several, several days. I am all prepared to have a "stay at home and clean and sew and be housewifey" day tomorrow and I am SOOOOOOOO looking forward to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A blogger friend who is recovering from surgery mentioned eating mac and cheese, putting on her favorite nightgown and going to bed. You don't know how good that sounds!!!!!! I am tired.

My food intake has been so random today. I was busy and at town but I did not drive through anywhere! yay! But I can't even tell you what I ate because I don't even remember. I grazed most of the day. A bite here, a bite there. A piece of banana nut bread, a sandwich, a granola bar, etc......

Tonight we will drive to Duncan (8 miles) to watch the "4th of July" fireworks that got rained out on Independence day. So, no early bedtime for me tonight. Oh well. It has been a good day anyway.

thinking about this....its simple, really

I looked back on my blog to see what I was eating when I was losing so good. Guess what? It was the same stuff I still have. Spaghetti. Pudding. PB crackers. Hamburgers. etc. So......my dampered weight loss is not because of what I've been eating differently, it is because I am eating way too much and not exercising. Wow, that was simple, wasn't it. It's the truth. ouch.

I realized that I weigh now what I weighed 7 weeks ago. SEVEN WEEKS of just la-de-dah not really trying!

***shaking self****** GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You still have a 18.75 pound weight loss to hold on to. Don't throw it away!!!! You silly thing! JUMP START yourself NOW. WALK! GET BACK WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. I will. right NOW.

awake

It is before 6 a.m. now and I am already up. I just couldn't go back to sleep after dh's alarm went off------thinking about bills that I have to pay today and which ones will have to wait (again). *sigh* You know how it is. So, I decided to get up and work on my "to-do" list and later I will take a long nap without guilt. :)

We will go to a few yard sales after the kids wake. Today is the city wide yardsale. I hope we find a few things that are cheap and great. LOL

I hope you all have a great day!

awake at midnight

Well. I turned the computer off at 10. I went to bed. However, it started storming and daughter is scared. So, I'm here for 30 mins MAX while the storm passes. Then its back to bed for me. Even if I have to sleep with daughter. I don't care WHERE I sleep, just that I DO sleep!

Sean-- thanks for the comment you left about the brownies for breakfast *big smile*

Bonnie- It is not wise for me to have brownies and banana nut bread both in the house!!! I made it work okay today, but I don't need to let it tempt me! I sent the last of the brownies in hubby's lunch and tomorrow the rest of the banana nut bread will go into the freezer. :-D

Goodnight ya'll ;)

P.S. to Bonnie-- does anyone there say Ya'll?

*singing* On the road again

I have been burning up the roads this week, doing things that the kids wanted to do before the summer ends. Today was the museum. Tomorrow is yardsales. and THEN...I have declared Saturday to be STAY AT HOME day!!!!! My "to-do" list is suffering.

Ok....I don't have pics...(crazy busy day)...but here's what I ate:

Breakfast...ham sandwich and one brownie...470 cals yum

Lunch...sonic chicken strip sandwich..373 cals

Snack....2 pc ham, 1.5 oz cheese, 1 cup cheerios.... 300 cals

Supper (which I am about to eat, while in bed.....ah...... the life) homemade veggie soup, crackers, and banana nut bread (double yum)...670 cals


-------under goal! whoo hoo!

I know I really need to get back into the eating every 2 hour deal. Maybe I can try to work on that next week when I will *hopefully* be at home more.

Thanks for reading!!!!