I went to a homeschool mom's meeting tonight. We were free to express whatever emotions or whatever was built up in us...whatever we needed to get out our admit or just SAY... The host said "Feel free to just throw up on my floor". LOL Of course, she didn't mean literally. She just meant to GET OUT whatever it is that is in you that needs to come out.
I was a bit surprised by the things I "threw up".
I said "I think I need to send more time just talking to and listening to my son." (He's 15.)
I also said "You all know that my dad died. He was 57, which really isn't that old. Dad had a dream that he talked about his whole life. He wanted to own some land and some cows. He talked about that a LOT. But I think he was waiting for it to fall out of the sky and come to him. He had the dream. He wanted to make it happen. But he felt stuck. I don't want to live my life with unfulfilled dreams. When we are in high school, we often dream of what we will become. One thing I did NOT dream of, was being an overweight adult. And so, I am taking steps to correct that, such as when I did that 5K. I can see what to do there. But I have another dream too. I want to make $100,000 per year by what I write, speak and organize. I want to be a professional and have my own office. I don't want my work to take me away from my kids all day and yet, I don't have to be at home with them 24 hours per day either. I want there to be a balance. But I don't know how to take steps toward this goal, and that is bringing me great frustration. I want to be successful and I can't even keep all my dishes washed. I have the same 24 hours per day as majorly successful people, and I struggle with just getting the basics done."
It was great to just say that! I kind of feel like I stole the show though--- I was just about the only one who shared anything. Then I kind of felt like a weird-o. Oh well!
What are the things YOU want to accomplish? Do you still have a dream? I think it is sad when you ask someone what they want and they can't think of a dream. Maybe it is just my personality type. I don't know. But I'm a dreamer! I still believe things will be better than they are now.
They served supper and dessert, but I didn't eat....because I wanted to eat a pb&j and a glass of milk when I got home. However, when I got home, I ate a leftover mexican pizza thingy AND the pb&j with milk, so I was over on calories.
All in all, it was a good day.
And now.................I was about to stay up half the night waiting on hubby's clothes to dry again, when I realized.........He's off work tomorrow! Ha ha. How funny. Those pants can sit in that dryer and wrinkle up for all I care. I can deal with that TOMORROW.
10/14/14 Calories: over by 510
80 ounces of water
Got a new battery for the pedometer watch---it still doesn't work.
TWELVE servings of fruits and veggies-- WOW!!!! (I discovered I LOVE this fresh made salsa stuff from the deli---SO good)
Walked one mile with hubby.
My dream was always to write a novel. And at 44 I've finally done it! It took having a supportive husband let me not earn any income for a year, and a lot of hard work on my part. So chuffed. It was weird, though, how for so many years I wanted to do it yet didn't take any steps towards that important goal. But the thing was, I said I wanted "to write a novel" when in fact what I wanted was "to have written a novel". In the past, without having to slog through the actual hard work. Same with weight loss, I don't want "to lose weight", I want "to have lost weight". Not the process, the end result. But it is going to take hard work too.
ReplyDeleteYour meeting reminded me of one I went to when my first baby was a newborn, for nursing mothers. We were asked to brainstorm some words to show what breastfeeding our baby meant to us. Everyone else was all "love" "beautiful" "natural" etc. Mine were something like "difficult" and "painful". I felt a bit odd and uncomfortable that I was the only one who had those kinds of things to say about this "wonderful" experience we were all supposed to be having. But afterwards a neighbour came up to me and said she was glad I had expressed those feelings, she thought she was the only one and hadn't felt able to tell her true feelings to the group! We are still friends ten years later.
If you want to have your dreams fulfilled, they have to cease being a dream and instead become a goal. We all dream of things that we would like to have someday, (I dream of my wife getting a career so I can quit my job and start my own business), but it's just a dream. If I decide I want that dream to become reality I have to start working towards it by setting some goals. Nothing stops us from obtaining our dreams except for us.
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Good for you for speaking up, even if no one else did. I bet that made the host feel better, too.
ReplyDeleteI still have so many dreams. First to lose weight then to be a perfectionist ?
ReplyDeleteAnd...I want to write a book as well.
Great post!
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