"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down"--that was me today. In many ways, today was great (that's the part where I don't fall down LOL). I went for a walk with baby as soon as a hopped out of bed. I stayed in calorie range. I drank a ton of water. But I also wobbled today,since my meals weren't preplanned--you know I have issues with that! I ate too many things that were JUNKY and unhealthy. I know I stayed in calorie range, and I rejoice over that because that IS the main thing right now. However, I want to do more than just lose weight--I want to BE HEALTHY. I want to eat real, living food with vitamins and nutrients--stuff that grew out of the earth---stuff that isn't man made and stuff that isn't going to give me cancer.
I do better about eating healthy when my meals are pre-planned and I'm going to pat myself on the back because just before I started typing this, I preplanned tomorrow's food. woot! It should be a good day!
I came to a crazy conclusion today-----------I CAN'T DO EVERYTHING. Well, duh. But that fact became more real to me today. An opportunity was presented for a fundraiser for our TOPS group. It sounded great. It was my idea. However, I would have to sit in the heat and sell tickets all day on a Saturday, probably without help. I'd have to arrange for a babysitter or bring him with me (doesn't THAT sound fun?). And then it dawned on me---------I've been running around super busy and overwhelmed and then I think I can add something else to my schedule? ha. That's hilarious. No. Maybe another time. I realized I cause some of my own busyness myself. Who knew? I'd been feeling like a victim and yet I'm the one causing the chaos sometimes.
I have a 5K coming up in less than a month and I'm nervous because I haven't walked 3 miles in almost a year! I've walked a mile..but not three. And last year I could even jog some of it. I really, really, really need alone time to go for longer walks and hopefully even be able to get that jog back. I'd love for that to happen before the 5K. Well, alone time isn't just going to fall out of the sky and hit me on the head, so I'm pursing it now. I posted on facebook and asked if I had any friends who would want to watch my kids on a regular basis for free LOL So, tomorrow my sister is going to watch baby for an hour so I can go to the gym.
OH. THE GYM. I would be lying if I said I wasn't intimidated. It has been a long time since I have been to the gym. I'm heavier than I was before and I'm having to argue with my mind over self image. At my lowest, I had gotten to 250. This morning I was
283. When I was losing weight before (I started at 331) and I got down to 283, I felt like a skinny little thing. (The mind is so weird.) But now that I'm 283 for the second time, I feel morbidly obese. (I'm not going to look up the height/weight stats to see if I AM under that category. That won't help anything!) I don't even know what to wear. One outfit is plenty big but has a hole by the back pocket and looks old. Another outfit is snug and makes me look even bigger (I think). I will probably wear the snug one anyway, plug in the headphones and rock that walk with my head held high.
Ah..........and wisdom is telling me to throw clothes in the washer that I will wear tomorrow.......then hit the sack. It is 10:34 p.m. Goodnight!
A properly aligned perspective is a powerful thing, Amy. So many points I related to in this post. We do create some of our business don't we? For me it happens when I say "yes," when I clearly should say "no." You're having some powerful epiphanies. The weight thing--body image-- I get it. I try my best to flip my perspective around and look at it from the perspective of my initial weight loss--from that view I was overjoyed to be where I am now. Now, I must embrace where I am now with the same excitement--an enthusiasm best suited for continued positive progress. Amy--as you walk into that gym, hold your head high my friend--because you're doing something most don't. You're powerful, Amy. You, despite the ups and downs of a family schedule (with newborn-no less) are taking the time and effort it takes in making your health and well being important. And that's HUGE. It is this effort that will greatly enhance your abilities to enjoy the wonderful family unit you and yours are nurturing so beautifully. You have my utmost respect. Basically--you rock.
ReplyDeleteAmy, I didn't notice the pin in the picture but it sure made me smile big when you mentioned it :) You have been a blogger friend for quite a lot of years now, it's been nice having so many of us back together talking again :) Way to go on getting through your day well. We both know there's no perfect so doing better than you did before is the goal :) You'll do fine with your 5k I'm sure. Way to go on getting in your walk with the baby too.
ReplyDeleteYAY - good for you! On the "saying no" AND the saying YES to the gym! Just enjoy yourself - it WILL feel good to get back to it (and yeah, okay, probably will ache, too, ha!). Heading out for a round of golf, second day in a row - I dropped my gym membership over the summer for a golf membership, just to switch things up a little and do something with family.
ReplyDeleteDeb, another TOPS lady