Friday, June 14, 2013

Ice cream therapy

One thing I am learning (haven't completely learned yet) with dad having terminal cancer, is how to control my emotions and not let my emotions control me. Dad had a bad day today. I won't elaborate. But it hurts and I want to help and there's not a thing in the world I can do. I went to the grocery store for him and bought him some ensure and some carnation malted milk and chocolate ice cream...because he thought maybe he could get that down (he's having eating issues)...and while there, I picked up ice cream for myself. Dad said "Amy, take home a few scoops of that malted milk and go home a make yourself a malt". And I did. Even though I had zero calories left.

Aand then I went outside and ran a lap through the neighborhood. My sweet daughter always wants to know if she can go too but once again I told her no. I hope she understands but I think she doesn't. I need my running/walking time to get my emotions out. I told her that next week when her brother is gone to camp, she and I would take some walks (other than my run).

I want to be doing the healthy thing, the on target thing, the NOT junking out thing even when dad is sick. Even when dad is struggling. Even when dad has died. I am learning. I did have a tiny milkshake. In the past, the ice cream carton would now be empty.

I am STILL planning to do a video blog! I just haven't had time to get to it yet. I don't know anything about it so it may take a while the first few times. I have been crazy busy. Right now hubby is waiting on me to shower and get to bed. So....ta ta for now!

Someone PLEASE tell me if you can see the food diary in this link: thanks

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/thatTOPSlady

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5 comments:

  1. jenJune 15, 2013 at 7:17 AM

    Food diary is there.

    One thing I have learnt is food and emotions go together....very hard to separate, but it can be done.
    Good luck with being on target...all we can do is but try......

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownJune 15, 2013 at 8:47 AM

    Hi, I do see the link, but I wasn't able to click on it. I'm not sure if that was your intention. By the way, I'm so sorry to hear about your father's suffering. I know exactly what you're going through. My mother lost her battle to cancer a few years ago. Just watching her go from a beautiful, healthy and vibrant woman to one that was frail, scared and in so much pain, was at times overwhelming. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, so believe me when I say, I completely understand the ice cream therapy. Sometimes it's all you can do to 'keep it together.' I'll pray that God gives you and your father the stregnth you'll need.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 15, 2013 at 12:07 PM

    Sorry to hear about your father's cancer. Emotional / stress eating can be comforting but also our downfall. Life happens. You countered by a run and I hope it helps some with relaxing and working through things. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  4. safireJune 16, 2013 at 5:57 PM

    Emotional eating was something I battled with for years. Good luck on finding other outlets to relieve stress. I also go for my runs/walks when I need to unwind.

    I'm sorry to hear about your father's cancer.

    ReplyDelete
  5. DebsdailylifeJune 21, 2013 at 1:48 PM

    I cant click on the link, but when I type it in my search browser I can go to your account and i can see your log.
    So sorry to hear about your dad!!! Thots and prayers!!

    ReplyDelete

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