"Stay at HOME" mom

You know, I don't work outside the home. But my life has been ever so busy lately. I feel like I am never home. Much less at home with time to do things that I like to do such as sew or scrapbook.....cook.

Looking ahead, I don't think I have a day that I can actually stay at home until next Thursday! eerrrr

Anyway................... "don't let tomorrow keep you from enjoying today".

I'm thankful for RIGHT NOW. I enjoy sitting at the computer, visiting with my cyber friends and reading stuff that interests me. I am enjoying some "me" time, which is much needed.

I also need sleep. TOmorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.....hopefully I will be in bed better tomorrow.

But right now, it is time for 30 minutes of hot cocoa and "me" time.

We went to Oklahoma City today for dd's eye exam. She has (had) a lazy eye since birth. For quite a while, we had appointments every 3 months........ 2 hour drive........not fun. She has improved over the years. Today I was told that they are going to weaken her Rx again (yay!) because her eyesight has improved so much! She doens't have to go back for A YEAR! There is no need for patching or dialation drops because her lazy eye is pretty much gone. Oh, and she is no longer a candidate for the surgery that they previously wanted her to have but I said "no" to. So, that was a great visit.

ok..........going to find my big, comfy (and ugly) gown, microwave some hot cocoa and be totally "selfish" (lol) for the next 30 minutes!

thanks for reading!

What happened to me?

Today was productive as far as getting a lot accomplished around the house. It was not really productive as far as health goals. I did make an effort SOME.... such as exercising 15 minutes (better than the zero minutes I had been doing)....and following my eating plan for the first 2/3 of the day.

Sigh

What happened to me? I was so "on top of it" for the first couple of months of this journey. I walked laps even when it was very inconvienient and it was such a priority. I lost 24 pounds! Why have I struggled for the past month or two? What happened to me? How can I get it back? hum..........

I need a willpower booster shot!

Maybe posting everyday will help. I need to post....even when I don't have anything to say that I would be proud of.

Maybe when school starts and everything is in a routine...maybe then I will have my groove back. I need my groove back.

It's just not as much fun posting when you are down and out.

Hugs,
that "ho-hum" TOPS lady

Thursday

Well, here's the deal. Saturday at "fun day" we paid $5 for this terrible lunch buffet. I am picky. There were tons of various salads that I don't even know the name of (think green noodle salads and salads consisting of meat, mayo, apples, and grapes). I put ritz crackers, chicken salad and banana nut bread on my plate. I only ate the chicken from the chicken salad...I didn't think I wanted to try the other mystery ingredients.

My TOPS "friends" from my chapter were sitting at the table with me. I made a comment about how I wasn't getting my $5 worth. They said "you don't like honeydew? you don't like strawberries? you don't like pasta salad? ....and on and on"

Then the comment came:

"YOU WILL NEVER BE THE QUEEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE THESE THINGS".

That was very hurtful, but I know they are wrong.

To top it all off, the little bit of food that I did eat made me sick and I was sick for about a day and a half. yuck.

I went to TOPS on Tuesday and had a 2 pound gain--- 309.5---- *sigh*. That was not very good.

So, I have been down in the dumps and having a hard time getting motivated.

Last night I made a meal plan for today:
B: oatmeal, eggs, toast
Sn: McD's ice cream
L: frozen pizza and corn
Sn: 1/2 cup orange sherbet
S: 2 microwaved burritos
Sn:1/2 cup sherbet and 2 pb crackers
total of 1900 cals

Lets hope I stick to it. My stickiness has been lacking lately.

I'm sorry I am behind on reading your blog posts....I will try to catch up soon!

I'm not dead.

I thought I had better pop in here and let you know that I didn't die. :)

I felt bad, physically, for a couple of days. Then I felt bad mentally.......I will go into details later...but it basically sums up to a rude remark that was directed to me at "fun day" and also being depressed over a 2 pound gain....and really not feeling "in the diet groove" *sigh*

So.........I just didn't post.

But I will start posting again.

Right at the moment I am super busy. My school book order needs to be called in within the next hour and 15 minutes. I don't have my order list ready. It is almost 7 and I haven't even started cooking supper...AND I promised the kids that I would watch a movie with them after supper..

so...........I don't really have time to post.............but I wanted to let you know that I am alive and I am thankful for friends who missed me!

food poisoning?

Amy is recovering from the chicken salad (or whatever that mystery food was) that the old ladies fed her for lunch today at the TOPS area "fun" day. She is going to bed now..............more later when she feels human again.

This has been a public service announcement. ;) LOL

....and this is how it went....

Daughter was going to vaccuum but I think I have too much hair clogged on the roller because the belt was making "that smell". We decided we'd rather have dirty floors than a stinky house.

Son mopped with the swiffer sweeper. I was thinking about letting "mopping" be his daily chore for this next school year but after today, maybe not. Mopping requires a tad bit of effort and pressure to do any good and frankly, son had the excitement about mopping that squidward usually has about work.

I dropped the kids off at 2 and went to the clinic.

They had built a new waiting room. You have to wait IN LINE (in order of arrival, in other words) for quite some time before the main waiting area is opened to us. I got there 3 hours before time for the doctor to be there and yet the waiting room was CRAMMED and there were NO chairs and I was squished in a corner with a nice black man and a severely obese woman who wasn't wearing nearly enough clothes.

The woman kept complaining about how sick she was. I was thinking "Lucky me, I get to be squished up next to someone who may be contagious with who knows what". But then........

......................then..............Oh dear, it was bad................then........................she started passing gas!

She was just standing there and we had been having a conversation about her job at McDonalds and about how sick she had been and then she just starts letting her rip!

Really, how do you make conversation with someone like that? What do you say? I said nothing. I pretended I was deaf and didn't hear (or smell) a thing. I worried that the other 50 people in the room would think it was me! (me=the severly obese woman who IS wearing enough clothes! too many clothes, actually, for the hot waiting room)

Anyway, the lady ended up going home before she even got to see the doctor.

***(changing subject)***

I ran out of hairspray. Today my hair looked like it did in 5th grade when I got that bad perm. *sigh* I didn't have my hairspray to tame it! It's my own fault, though. I was waiting for a good sale to come along. Since I've started couponing, I almost refuse to pay full price for things. Instead, I run out of things and go around looking like a goon. LOL (I did break down and buy some later in the day)

Speaking of being cheap>>>>>>I showed up at the clinic at 2 and realized that I was going to be there for HOURS and that I didn't even bring a drink. I don't dare leave, though, else I lose my place in line. So, at 7 p.m. when it was all over, I was SO THIRSTY and hungry.

The only money I have right now is the money for the house payment, so I knew I *had* to be thrifty (as if the sheer thrill of saving money wasn't enough motivation). I went to walgreens because I had a $5 walgreens register reward which spends like cash there. I looked at the soda. $1.79 for a 20 ounce! and I was so thirsty I could down 3 of them. BUT THEN....I saw that the 2 liters were on sale for 99 cents! (nevermind the fact that they were hot and I had no cup with me to pour into). Yep. I did. I got a 2 liter and drank straight from the bottle in the parking lot (after looking around to see if I was being watched) and I also drank again at a red light (I was SO thirsty!).

So..........if you saw a large lady in a mini van today....and she had frizzy wild hair and she was drinking from a 2 liter.....then you probably saw me! Wave next time! ;)

flying

I'm flllyyyyiiinnngggg! :)

I will probably NOT be able to post tonight (trying to turn the computer off at 10....I'm not usually successful, but I am trying) so I am posting about my day now, at 1 p.m.

In an hour, I need to drop the kids off at my grandma's house. I have to go to the clinic for a blood pressure pill refill. I do not have insurance. I go to the free clinic that is sponsored by a church. The good thing is, the doctor visit and the meds are FREE. The not so good thing is that a line forms early in the day and you have to be there super early or you won't be seen. It takes hours. Seriously. Sometimes 6 hours or so.

Now, to explain "flying". It has 2 meanings in this post:
1. Flying=getting things done so quickly that your feet barely have time to touch the floor..zzoom zoom
2. Flying= A flylady.net word that means "finally loving yourself" and it also involves getting the house cleaned up, your "to-do" list done, doing your best and not worrying about the rest.

So far today, I have:

dressed and done my hair

cleaned the bathroom

washed and dried a load of laundry

prepared breakfast (it was easy), lunch (cooked hamburgers for the kids to take to grandma's- she will be babysitting at 2), and supper (hubby will pick the kids up from grandmas after he gets off of work and I have supper cooked and on warm in the crock pot)

put away the dry dishes

picked up 27 stray things from the living room

checked email and blogs

washed dishes for 16 minutes (what? you don't time yourself when you wash dishes? *big smile*)

prayed and read a chapter

went to the grocery store

balanced the checkbook

checked and sorted the mail




And now I have a little less than an hour til time to go. Here's what I hope to accomplish in that hour:

check to see if dd has clean underclothes. She is still in pjs. I'm thinking I need to wash some out and throw them in the dryer for her. That girl changes underclothes OFTEN and it is hard to keep them washed.

cook rolls

brush/braid dd's hair (not a fun chore. she is so tenderheaded)

tell the kids to get dressed

throw some towels in the washer

7 minutes general "clean up" of the house

vaccuum? mop? (I kind of doubt I will have time to do that before 2, but it is on my list nevertheless)



well.........its not getting done by me sitting here.......so I guess I'll take off!

water is on

It is 3:49 p.m. and our water is back on, so we can shower for church at home instead of grandmas.

I have enjoyed my "do what you want" day. I organized my kitchen and bathroom cabinets. I did ZERO housework! (except I did make the bed....without thinking LOL) I sat in my chair and read a book. I looked through my coupons. :)

The kids are painting on posterboard (that I got at walgreens for 9 cents this week!).

After I finish reading blogs, I am going to do 5 minute cycles of dishes/laundry/ironing and start the baths and everyone getting ready for church routine. ahhhhhh.........its been great!

Thank you for all of the wonderful comments!

We have no water! whoo hoo!

Well, apparently the city is working on the water lines because we have no water. That means I have a good excuse to not do dishes or laundry! whoo hoo! I am ignoring my "to-do" list today and just doing what I WANT to do....such as organizing my kitchen cabinets. I haven't even brushed my hair. oh well. I don't care. Today is "do what you want to do day". LOL

I will have to wake to reality around 3 p.m. and iron our church clothes and if the water is still off we will go to grandma's to shower.

Making mountains out of mole hills.

Today has been busy busy busy and somewhat stressful but at least everyone's attitudes were better today!

*I* am having a "make a big deal out of small deals" day. LOL

I keep beating myself up because I goofed at the checkout (still doing the coupon thing) and paid $5 for something that I could have gotten for free. It was just a mistake. I need to get over it.

I rushed around running errands, and started stressing because it was time to pick the kids up from mom and I thought they were probably ready to be home and my parents were probably ready to SEND them home (LOL) and I was stressing over it.........just to get there and they aren't home. They took the kids on a picnic and will drop them off when they are done. I stressed over nothing.

I also worried that hubby was at home waiting for his good wife to feed him supper and feeling "not important" because I wasn't there. However, I'm here now and he isn't! LOL (He is either visiting with some guys at church or at his mothers, I bet)

And so I sit here in an empty house and I LOVE IT! But it won't last. lol

I just thought I'd blog about my day while I had the chance.

I lost 1 pound this week (according to tonight's TOPS weigh in). I weighed 307.5 which is about 20 pounds LESS than I weighed in March, but about 3 pounds MORE than I weighed a few weeks ago. Anyway.........at least its going down!

ta ta!

It's all your fault.

Well, today was rather busy and frustration kept knocking on my door....and it is still knocking! I think EVERYONE in my home is PMSing today...including the males and the 7 year old! LOL Everyone has a mouth on them today and is blaming each other for things that aren't their fault. eerrr. We also had a flat, went to get it fixed, paid $15 and it was flat within hours. We took it back and they weren't even apologetic. Maybe they were PMSing too. *rolls eyes*

In the chaos, I didn't keep up with my calories. Well, I kind of did mentally...I was aware of what I was eating....and I was cautious. I only ate half of my plate at supper (yay me!) and then went for a 15 minute walk.

Maybe I can make that my goal for this week. Maybe I will put "trying to be perfect in all areas of my life" on hold and just try to exercise for 15 minutes per day. I found that the desire to overeat is less when I exercise.

So, all in all, it was a pretty good day. Even if everyone was ragging.

:)

breakfast and snack

500 cal breakfast= egg burrito, cheerios, special K bar

150 cal snack= 5 pringles and 100 cal pack of shortbread cookies

Mediocere day

Today was just the average Sunday. Eat, sleep and church.

I did go up for prayer at church and just said "It's private" (not giving a reason for wanting prayer) but you all know the reason. :) I'm gonna make it!

"See" ya tomorrow!

I didn't fail.

What a struggle today was. I know I was a firecracker earlier, but by 7:38 p.m. I had eaten all of my calories for the day and I was struggling. I wanted to quit. But then I didn't want to quit. Then I did want to.

I kept arguing with myself. "I can't do it. Yes, you can. I want to eat sweets. NOW. But you don't want this to turn into another failure. Turn into? It already is! No, it isn't. You are still trying. Yeah, still trying to talk myself into allowing myself to have chocolate milk. I want chocolate milk. It will make me feel calm and peaceful. You know that big BIG green glass in the kitchen? I want it full of chocolate milk. Sit it the bedroom alone and listen to the quiet and drink the chocolate milk. But that won't help anything. Yes it will, it will make me feel happy. Only happy for 5 minutes. Isn't that better than zero minutes? So, what you are saying is that you'd rather die an early death from obesity than to skip chocolate milk for tonight? What I'm saying is that I feel like I can't do it. Others are doing it, but *I* can't. Yes, you can. You can do all things through Christ. I'm not sure that applies to me. Why? I don't know. Probably because I'm not trying. *sigh*"

So I tried to stall. I was feeling especially flimsy at supper time. I knew I would fail if I sat down to eat the steak, rolls and shells and cheese that the kids were eating (hubby was at town). So I ate 3 bites of shells and cheese and stalled by mowing the yard.

Then I ate a 400 cal supper. (completely different from what they were eating--I couldn't handle just a little of that)

After that I stalled by washing daughter's hair and putting the kids to bed. I was really really really wanting chocolate milk. I still do, actually, but anyway.........

I stalled by taking my shower. While in the shower I told myself that I could have the milk. I was feeling bad that I would have to post about failing AGAIN but I guess I wanted the milk more. So, I decided that I would have it after my shower. A huge glass. Lots of syrup. We are talking 700 calories of chocolate milk!

THEN I got out of the shower and there was the mirror staring at me and it wasn't pretty. *sigh* I flossed my teeth. I brushed my teeth. I used mouthwash. I reminded myself that if I succeeded today, it would make it that much easier to succeed tomorrow. AND I REFUSE TO DRINK THE MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So that brings me to now. As soon as I finish on the computer, I am going straight to bed.

And that makes me a success! Today was the first day in I don't know how long that I exercised AND stayed within calorie limits AND drank my water! Let there be rejoicing throughout the land! *wink, wink*

Thank you for following my (sometimes very rocky) journey. Im gonna make it. It's not easy. But I will make it!

Food intake:

11 a.m.... 3 eggs, 2 toast, 1 jelly, 1 pb cracker

1 p.m....special k bar, fudgepop

3 p.m...1 cup pasta roni, 1 corn dog, 1 pb cracker

5 p.m...2 rice cakes, 1 shortbread cookie

6:30 p.m. 1 graham cracker, 1 mini hersheys

7:38 p.m. 3 bites mac and cheese (not pictured)

8:45 p.m. tuna salad, 2 toast, 1 jelly, half an apple(also not pictured, because it will only let me upload 5 pictures)

Feeling like a firework! *boom!*

Yesterday I felt like poo; today I feel like a firework! (yikes, I hope that doesn't mean I'm bipolar or something!) I think it is because I got my 10 hours in last night AND I know I get to stay at home today and accomplish the things I really like to accomplish. :)

Anyway...having a great day............

Sean-- you are right. And I am buckling down with my calories and I WILL WILL WILL get a workout in today! I will! :) Hold me to it! I'm getting back on track.

Bonnie---it amazes me that you and I are so far apart and yet we have so many connections! We must have been meant to meet each other!

Pam--- You bet, I AM enjoying my housewifey day! Thanks for the good wishes!

I hope you all have a great great great Saturday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poo

No....THAT is Pooh. P-O-O-H. I'm not talking about Pooh; I'm talking about Poo. Understand now? ;)

Poo is what I feel like. *yawn* That messed up sleep last night is really messing up my afternoon. I did take a little nap, but POO is still the feeling that is going on. I really do have fierce sleep requirements in order to feel well!

I enjoyed going to the yard sales today. I paid my electric bill. I went to 2 grocery stores and I have all of my shopping done for several, several days. I am all prepared to have a "stay at home and clean and sew and be housewifey" day tomorrow and I am SOOOOOOOO looking forward to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A blogger friend who is recovering from surgery mentioned eating mac and cheese, putting on her favorite nightgown and going to bed. You don't know how good that sounds!!!!!! I am tired.

My food intake has been so random today. I was busy and at town but I did not drive through anywhere! yay! But I can't even tell you what I ate because I don't even remember. I grazed most of the day. A bite here, a bite there. A piece of banana nut bread, a sandwich, a granola bar, etc......

Tonight we will drive to Duncan (8 miles) to watch the "4th of July" fireworks that got rained out on Independence day. So, no early bedtime for me tonight. Oh well. It has been a good day anyway.

thinking about this....its simple, really

I looked back on my blog to see what I was eating when I was losing so good. Guess what? It was the same stuff I still have. Spaghetti. Pudding. PB crackers. Hamburgers. etc. So......my dampered weight loss is not because of what I've been eating differently, it is because I am eating way too much and not exercising. Wow, that was simple, wasn't it. It's the truth. ouch.

I realized that I weigh now what I weighed 7 weeks ago. SEVEN WEEKS of just la-de-dah not really trying!

***shaking self****** GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You still have a 18.75 pound weight loss to hold on to. Don't throw it away!!!! You silly thing! JUMP START yourself NOW. WALK! GET BACK WITH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. I will. right NOW.

awake

It is before 6 a.m. now and I am already up. I just couldn't go back to sleep after dh's alarm went off------thinking about bills that I have to pay today and which ones will have to wait (again). *sigh* You know how it is. So, I decided to get up and work on my "to-do" list and later I will take a long nap without guilt. :)

We will go to a few yard sales after the kids wake. Today is the city wide yardsale. I hope we find a few things that are cheap and great. LOL

I hope you all have a great day!

awake at midnight

Well. I turned the computer off at 10. I went to bed. However, it started storming and daughter is scared. So, I'm here for 30 mins MAX while the storm passes. Then its back to bed for me. Even if I have to sleep with daughter. I don't care WHERE I sleep, just that I DO sleep!

Sean-- thanks for the comment you left about the brownies for breakfast *big smile*

Bonnie- It is not wise for me to have brownies and banana nut bread both in the house!!! I made it work okay today, but I don't need to let it tempt me! I sent the last of the brownies in hubby's lunch and tomorrow the rest of the banana nut bread will go into the freezer. :-D

Goodnight ya'll ;)

P.S. to Bonnie-- does anyone there say Ya'll?

*singing* On the road again

I have been burning up the roads this week, doing things that the kids wanted to do before the summer ends. Today was the museum. Tomorrow is yardsales. and THEN...I have declared Saturday to be STAY AT HOME day!!!!! My "to-do" list is suffering.

Ok....I don't have pics...(crazy busy day)...but here's what I ate:

Breakfast...ham sandwich and one brownie...470 cals yum

Lunch...sonic chicken strip sandwich..373 cals

Snack....2 pc ham, 1.5 oz cheese, 1 cup cheerios.... 300 cals

Supper (which I am about to eat, while in bed.....ah...... the life) homemade veggie soup, crackers, and banana nut bread (double yum)...670 cals


-------under goal! whoo hoo!

I know I really need to get back into the eating every 2 hour deal. Maybe I can try to work on that next week when I will *hopefully* be at home more.

Thanks for reading!!!!

We got in from church and it was after 10 (computer pull the plug time) before I got unbusied enough to think about posting. So, here's yesterday's numbers:

Breakfast. 9:50 a.m...... 2 corn dogs, mustard, and one leftover small enchilada....570 cals

Lunch...12:20 p.m... mcd's burger and ice cream... 400 cals (somehow this pic didn't get added, sorry!)

Before church....4:30 p.m.....leftover hamburger patty, 2 pc toast and jelly...490 cals

After church...... small nachos and 2 brownies........720 cals

I went over by 200 and something cals... I should have done without the hamburger patty before church. The brownies were worth the cals!

(p.s. Bonnie--- thanks for missing me!)

weigh in, my day, and what I felt God spoke

Here's all of today's food intake, in pictures. I ate every single calorie today but I did NOT go over! whoo hoo! Today is probably the first time in 2 weeks that I've not gone over. So, hopefully I am on my way back. I am.

Well, you reap what you sow and tonight at TOPS I reaped a 2 week total gain of 4.5 pounds. That's what I deserved. That's what I got. That is over and we are now on week 18. New week. Putting the past behind me.

Well, this is another one of those posts where some people will say "oooooooooooookay" and have that weird look on their face. Anyway, you may remember me telling a short while back about my pastor preaching about how our body, soul and mind/attitude are all connected. That night I sincerely prayed that God would heal me, change me and make me what I am meant to be in every aspect of my being.

It wasn't long after that that I felt like God told me to sleep for 10 hours per night for the next 3 nights. I kind of wondered "Is God really prompting my mind with that or is it just me?" so I asked for confirmation. I opened my Bible to a random scripture 3 different times. The first scripture had the word "time" in it. Next scripture had the words "she" and "lay down". The 3rd scripture had the word "time" in it again. I took that as confirmation enough and you all know that I DID do the 10 hour thing for those 3 days and how wonderful I felt those days. I learned from this that my body needs 10 hours per night, at least right now it does. It may change later.

Well, I am such a night person. I love the quiet of the night when everyone else is alseep. I get lost in cyberspace and time flies. Hubby goes to sleep......alone. I get to bed a couple of hours before he gets up and I don't feel like getting up for 5:30 prayer with him. I feel like sleeping the day away the next day and if I don't, I feel like poo and my attitude suffers. This is not God's will. (obviously)

Well, last night, I got lost in cyberspace and I was crawling into bed at 3 a.m. There is a chair in my bedroom where I pray sometimes and I have to walk past it to get to my side of the bed. As I was walking past that chair, I felt so bad for having stayed up so late again. So not a virtuous woman. I decided to kneel there for a second.

I harldy got 2 words out of my mouth when I felt God speaking to me "That's your trap." You see, I am not even tempted by many things that are considered sins. I don't lie, steal, cheat or cuss. Never crosses my mind. But I do often feel like I am "in a fog" and not very alert and not happy and not all that I could be. So, that's how I end up feeling that way.........from wacko sleep schedules, from staying up too late........THAT is the trap that I am in so often. I've never seen the trap before. I could feel the trap. I knew I was in one. But I didn't know how it came to be that way. Know I know. Staying up too late is MY trap. The one the devil has picked especially for me, to drag me down. He knows how I am!

A scripture came into my head.... something about " if someone sets a trap for a bird, and the bird SEES them setting the trap, surely they should know that the bird will never fall for it". Well, since God let me "see" what my trap is, I don't have to fall for it again.

I will be pushing the "off" button on the computer at 10 p.m., if not before. God has great things for my life and for my family. I refuse to be hindered, especially when God is being so gracious and working with me!

Today I looked up the bird scripture and I also found another one I thought was good:

Proverbs 1:17 "Surely in vain the net is spread in the sight of any bird."

Psalm 142:3 "When my spirit was overwhelmed within me, then thou knewest my path. In the way wherein I walked have they privily laid a snare for me."

Thanks for reading. You guys are great. Just think of how improved we all will be a year from now. Surely we will look back on these posts and laugh with a great joy!!!!

TODAY........

................is full, full, full........but full of good things.

Here's the plan:

slept in, since I stayed up late (again)
shower, make sure son showers, wash dd's hair, then braid it
feed everyone
run to the store and buy some bread
do an hour or so of housework (I can accomplish a LOT of housework if if if if if I get with it. I usually don't get with it LOL)
gather library books, write titles on kids' reading list for the library, put books in van
make supper prep
drop the kids off at mom's by 4
drop off books at library, QUICKLY pick out some more, and look through the free coupon box
spend 15 mins looking at new frames (I will be getting new glasses soon..and I'm picky)
be at TOPS by 5
TOPS 5 p.m.-6
meet my sister-in-law at the gym for a 45 min workout (that's one way to not back out. She's supposed to meet me there, in the parking lot)
go from gym to prayer meeting, which starts at 7. I will be sweaty and ugly but at least I will be there.
pick kids up
go home and eat supper
check emails, wash hubby's uniform, shower, go to bed

what a full day! see you later!

P.S. The pic is of my 350 cal breakfast, which I am eating now at 11:18 a.m.

week 17, Monday

(I don't know why that snickers pic turned out so huge (lol!) but oh well)

I DID take pics of my food today. I did NOT keep up with my calories or try very hard. *sigh* But here it is:

1/2 cup cheerios

leftover spaghetti

corn

1 cup homemade chocolate pudding

scrambled eggs with bacon and cheese

hamburger patty with bbq sauce

green beans

chicken noodle casserole

snickers

mcd's ice cream

*sigh*

2,180 total

Sleep is good for you............who knew?! ;)

Well, last night was my 3rd night in a row of 10 hours of sleep and trying to use hubby's bipap machine some. Let me tell you, it has made a world of difference. I have felt great for the past 3 days. How often do I say that? VERY, very rarely.

So, I guess that is the answer. I need 10 hours of sleep/sleeping with the bipap in order to feel well and be productive.

But it is very hard to get 10 hours EVERY night. Especially for a night owl like me who likes to stay up until 2 a.m. while the house is quiet.

It is midnight now. I am working on some church stuff.

I will go to bed before too long.

I will not get 10 hours tonight but that's okay. I knew I wouldn't. I will take a nap after lunch. I always do on Sundays. Sundays for me is: church, lunch, nap, church, eat, bed. :)

Okie dokie.....there you have it. The results are in and now you know.

I have a confession to make. I ate a whole bag of chocolate chex mix today. It was the first time we have ever bought it. *sigh* I should not buy it again.

*Singing* Come next Monday.......

I'm really going to have to buckle down and get back to taking all of those silly food pictures! I just flop without reporting my every bite to you all. I'm expecting a small gain on Tuesday. I'll go ahead and tell you that.

But Monday..........Monday.........Monday.........those pics will be back and IF I dare to go even one measly calorie over my limit (which is 1,950....three 500 cal meals and three 150 cal snacks).......IF I go over my limit, you'd better give me a good stern talking to. You will if you are my friend. I need it.

ta ta for now,
that wide awake TOPS lady

UPDATE: I have spent the past hour or so mindlessly wander around on the web looking up things like "homeschool storage pictures", which is silly, because I've already pretty much made up my mind about that. I guess I'm just nosey and like seeing pictures of other people's houses. (especially if they are more messy than mine)
and so.........it is now 2:22 a.m.........and I am going to bed. zzz

(wk17, Fri.) Accomplished!

Well, I am feeling accomplished. Compare the before and after pics above. That is the corner of our kitchen where we have school. I cleaned there for an hour and a half! whoo hoo!

The "to-do" list is DONE>yay!

I did not write calories down today.........I didn't binge though.

Off for another 10 hours of sleep! ( Hopefully the rest is what is helping me to be so productive...if so, I will attempt to get 10 hours more often. Today was a great day. I hope yours was too!)

(wk17,Fri,) Sleep and "to do" lists

I just woke up 10 hours of sleep (2 nights in a row). I am going to do that much for one more night and then reevaluate. It is almost impossible to get that much on most nights (because the kids get up). I slept with hubby's apnea mask for 4 hours this morning. It usually bothers me. But I put it on at 5 something a.m. when I was very sleepy and I just fell back to sleep. I think I feel better. I'm not yawing yet so that is a good sign.

Yesterday I finished my "to-do" list and I sure hope I get that done today as well. I try to do the flylady thing. Have you ever heard of her? She gives tips on how to keep your house in order without stressing in the process. I need to be more faithful with my flylady stuff.

Anyway, here's today's "to-do" list, copied and pasted, with brief explanations:


* Morning Routine:
-Get Dressed to Shoes including Hair/Face,
Brush Teeth-
Make Bed-
Swish & Swipe-(this means clean toilet, sink and pick up clothes from floor in bathroom)
Empty Dishwasher
-Reboot Laundry (a Load a Day Keeps CHAOS Away)
-Check Your Calendar
balance checkbook
27 living room pickup (27 stray or untidy items)
What's for dinner? (start making preparations)
8 min breakfast dishes
8 minute lunch dishes
15 min supper dishes
clean out van
clean out purse
5 minute room rescue(spend 5 minutes cleaning your worst room)
Drink your water.
hot spot fire drill (2 minutes clearing off a flat surface...such as the table or countertop)
Switch out laundry
15 min flylady mission- top of fridge
put laundry away
deal with mail/bills
grocery run
exercise
* Before Bed Routine:
-Lay out Your Clothes for tomorrow
-Check Your Calendar
-Put things needed for tomorrow at the front door
-Where are your Keys?
-Spend Two Minutes Clearing off a Hot Spot(any place that collects junk)
-Shine Your Sink
- Wash face/Brush Teeth
-Go to Bed at a Decent Hour

What does YOUR "to-do" list look like?
Let's get busy!

Week 17, Thursday, peaceful

Today was a peaceful day. I finished my to-do list. I exercised (mowed the yard). I read to the kids. I got 10 hours of sleep and that was nice. I didn't really count my cals today but I didn't binge and I think I did okay. Not great, but not bad, either.

I am planning to read and then settle into bed for another 10 hours.

I'm hoping for another good day tomorrow.

Thanks for reading and thank you so much for the comments you all have been leaving. I read each and every one.

goodnight

Re: Sleep apnea comments

I thought I'd answer the questions I was asked about my declaration of having sleep apnea.

"Maybe you are still just a little sick." Maybe so. That would accentuate the sleepy problem. However, even when I haven't been sick, I am always sleepy. I can wake up after hours and hours of sleep and still want to go back to bed.

"Have you been tested?" No. Vision insurance is the only insurance I have and I don't think they can determine that by looking at my eyes----even if they ARE bloodshot. LOL!

Hubby (who has medical insurance) was tested and it would have been a couple of THOUSAND dollars without insurance. His BiPap (like a cpap) machine cost so much that even WITH insurance, we are making monthly payments on our part.

I did go with him when they explained his diagnosis. Obesity plays a huge role in sleep apnea. The lady (I don't remember her title...but she teaches about sleep apnea all day every day) said that most obese people have some sleep apnea and that getting to a healthy weigh cures a lot of people's sleep apnea. (I am not saying obesity is the only cause of apnea......she just stressed it to us)

Anyway..................I'm not going to have it for long! I am going to treat my body right and go to bed instead of staying up all hours of the night, so that I can get more than the normal 8 hours and still not be snoozing at noon.

I need to feed my body healthy, fresh foods......cut back on the processed stuff and focus on foods that will give me energy and healing and nutrition. This will not be easy. I am a processed food junkie! Maybe I could start by having a certain amount of fruits and veggies daily.

I will get my exercise in. They say (and I know that it is true) that you get more energy if you exercise. And you sleep better, too.

I will try to reduce the stress in my life, prioritize, work on being a better time manager and manager of my home. I will take the time to slow down and enjoy my day and my family.

At church last night.......it was a weird topic to preach about............but it was about the connection between our spirit (or our attitude or our mind), our soul, and our body. He was talking about how it is almost impossible for our bodies to get well if we have stuff going on emotionally or mentally. (have you ever worried yourself SICK? I have) It goes the other way around. It is hard to think positive thoughts when your body is sick. They work together. Getting body, mind, and soul to work together and be healthy is a goal I plan to work on starting right now.

I'm looking forward to feeling better. I am headed in the right direction. You are too! yay! Let's go!

the lady who is always tired.

Well, the apple didn't get eaten. So I guess I wasted that 50 cents or whatever. oh well.

I had 2 tacos with not nearly as much cheese on them as I could have eaten. I also had a sugar free pudding, a hot cocoa and a fiber one bar.

I went over by approx 200 cals. However, its better than I have done the past week or two.

I. am. tired.

I usually don't try to claim things because I believe in the theory of "you have what you THINK you have" .............but....................... this tiredness is just beyond normal so I am going to go ahead and claim it. I'm pretty sure I have sleep apnea.

I am just totally exhausted. And I didn't even do anything strenuous today.

I could just sleep and sleep and sleep.

I am about to go to bed. I am going to set my alarm to wake me up in 10 hours. TEN hours is a lot, I know........but I am so tired. I've got to get some rest.

That's one thing I am looking forward to with this weight loss-----seeing the apnea improve.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzthanksforreadingzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Week 17, Wednesday, 6 p.m. update

Lunch (pictured) was a pc of Tony's pizza (pizza was cut into 8 pcs to make them smaller), corn and salad. I've been snacking on mini pb crackers (10 cals each) and a fiber one bar.

I have 580 cals left to spend when we get home from church. I need to include an apple in that number because the apple is going to ruin if I don't eat it and I hate to waste!

ok....we are off to church as soon as hubby finishes getting dressed

ttyl!

Week 17, Wednesday. 1st snack

12:40....a fiber one bar and 2 mini pb crackers.......160 cals

.....kind of wanting a nap.....I may take one in a bit.

Week 17, Wednesday, Breakfast

10:44 a.m..... 2 egg burritos and a sugar free pudding. 490 cals. I had to whittle and whittle to get this down below 500 cals. I wasn't willing to give up any of the ingredients or the pudding! So they each have only 1/4 of a slice of cheese, but that's enough to still taste cheesey and not go over my goal of having less than 500 cals per meal!

I hope you are having a great day!

Feeling better.

Just a quick note to let you know that I am feeling better. Thank you for being concerned about me! :)

Now, for a full and productive day ahead!

Thanks for reading!
~ Amy

P.S. Last night at TOPS (I was "absent" but just went to get some papers filled out, remember?) *TWELVE* people signed up to attend the next area fun day!!!! My group is getting fired up and that is so exciting!!!!

Sick.

I. am. sick.

My stomach was upset all day yesterday but I just thought I was eating too many fatty foods. I'd had ice cream and McDonalds.

Last night as I went to bed I thought "I almost feel like throwing up", which is a major for me---I just don't throw up. In the past 13 years, I've thrown up only maybe 4 times. I hate it.

But I didn't throw up. I decided that maybe I was just imagining sickness because I was really tired. I went to sleep.

Son woke me up this morning and said "mom, its almost noon". Noon? How did that happen? I was in the middle of a dream about being at a TOPS event at a fancy hotel and I couldn't find my room and it was hot and they were turning the air up.

When I woke up, I was hot. Probably because I was in my flannel gown, which is so comfy (and yet, ugly). I wear it when I am sick because it is a comfort thing. I'm wearing it now.

I'd like to send the kids to moms and just go to bed.

I feel.........................................dizzy. and weird. (weirder than normal LOL)

BUT I have so many responsibilities! *sigh* People are not lining up to take on my responsiblilities.

So here is the plan>>>>

Put on wrinkled clothes and not even care.

Drop the kids off at moms.

Go to the church to: (#1) vacuum up the popcorn that has been in my sunday school floor since Sunday and (#2) wrap a box and quickly set up the "christmas in July" display that I promised would be done by Wednesday. The box will be for donations of supplies for Tupelo Children's Mansion, an orphanage.

Go to TOPS but annonce that I am only there to get the paperwork completed for the funday forms that I have to get in the mail by tomorrow. (otherwise I wouldn't even go). Then I will leave and let someone else run the meeting. I'm not even going to weigh in. Even though I am going to be there for 15 mins or so, I want to be considered "absent" because (#1) I don't want to weigh and (#2) I don't want to stay.

Run in homeland (because the sales change tomorrow) and use the coupons I have for FREE bbq sauce, free pickles, 50 cent deodorant, and 37 cent tea bags.

Go home and either go to bed or read blogs, depending on how I feel.

Let dad deliver the kids back to me whenever.

Do no housewifey things today except wash hubby's uniform and cook supper (tacos- easy).

zzzzzz

Anyone who wants to do all of the above for me is more than welcome to! ;) then I'd just go to bed.

Time management decision

I have almost always been a poor time manager. I have trouble getting my "to do" list done. I have trouble keeping/getting my house presentable.

I am a stay at home mom, yes, but I am also quite busy. I teach a Sunday school class of approximately 10 kids between the ages of 3 and 10. Two of those ss kids are autistic and present me with challenges that sometimes drain me. I homeschool my kids, who are in different grades, and that takes several hours per day. I also want to have non-rushed time to sit and read and play games with them, but that "leisure" time is usually no where to be found. I'm also active in our church and we usually have church activities 3-4 days per week. Oh, and I am the TOPS leader, so that comsumes about 2 hours every week, not counting the paperwork.

So, yes, I am busy.

I have been giving more and more thought to "How can I slow down my life? How can I be more productive and get it all done without losing my temper?"

I want a calm and peaceful, quiet life.

I am really evaluating how much time I am spending on the internet. I am online too much. I want it to become less important to me.

So, I'm not going to make any empty promises of "I'll only be here once a week" or whatever. But if I don't comment your blog like I normally do, if I don't post daily, don't worry about me....just know that I'm trying to get my priorites straight and be the woman that I long to be. I want to live to my potential.

Enjoy your Independence Day!

In a nutshell

(the pic to go with this post was pulled up when I was looking for "nutshell" and I thought it was too funny to not use, even though it really has nothing to do with my post Ha!)

Today was..........

getting up before the kids

finishing my entire to-do list (yay! rare)

deep cleaning the house for about an hour

watching a movie with the kids

walking 20 minutes in 98 degree weather (and I got chill bumps and felt cold and decided that wasn't a good thing)

squirting the kids and myself down with the waterhose in the backyard, even being so spontaneous as to wash our hair outside! crazy fun!

Giving my van it's annual bath ;)

Doing better on cals than I have in a good long while! (whoo hoo!!!)

reading Sunday's lesson and getting preped for it

letting the kids sleep in the living room floor and watch dvds until they crash (no bedtime)

ah..................it was a good day.

I hope yours was too :)

update and away we go............

I have done well today, thus far. It is now time for me to go walk. Dad said he would watch the kids for an hour ........but.............he is concerned about the heat. It is 99 degrees right now. *sigh* I will be sweating, I'm sure!
Just checking in..........here I go.........................................

Bedtime update and "The Perfect Day"

I didn't end up doing what I posted that I would do. Instead of an apple for a bedtime snack, I had cinnamon toast, pizza and ate off of my kid's plate. I went off of the deep end. AND I will probably have some chocolate milk before I go to sleep. *sigh*

I have looked back over my blog for the past week and it has been terrible. Somedays I plan for good things and then I fail, but many times I don't even set a goal to reach for. Lack of planning is not good for me. I am a "list" type of person. I make a "to-do" list almost every day. I have found that when I already have my meals and snacks planned and written down, I can check them off and am more likely to stick with it. So, I am making a "perfect day" plan for tomorrow and I will aim to accomplish it:

Friday's plan:

9 a.m.- instant oatmeal, 8 oz apple juice, 1 oz cheese= 390 cals

11 a.m.- an apple= 75 cals

1 p.m.- sonic junior chicken strip sandwich, 2 puddings= 493 cals

3 p.m. - 100 cal pack of pb crackers

5 p.m.- can of tuna, miracle whip, boiled egg, 1 plain toast, 1 toast with jelly= 405 cals

(after we eat, have dad watch the kids while I take an one hour walk. Then, after I pick them up, take them to the park)

7 p.m.- 1 cup dry cheerios=110 cals

9 p.m.- apple= 75 cals

total cals= 1,648 (which is really good for me, because I was losing pretty good when I was *faithful* with 1,950)

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.............and...........I think I WON'T have that chocolate milk tonight after all.

Week 16, Thursday

11:40 a.m......3 eggs, 1 cheese, 4 bacon (precooked, low cal kind) 1 dry toast, 4 oz apple juice=500 cals

1:35 p.m....fiber one bar...140 cals

3:09 p.m....fiber one bar...140 cals

4:15 p.m....chicken breast, stuffing, corn, leftovers from dd's plate, sugar free pudding...685 cals

8:00 p.m.....ice cream with syrup.....510 cals

And at this point, I have had all of my cals for the day and I haven't had supper. :( I did not manage well today!

Supper will be:

One can of spaghetti with meatballs, 1 pc bread= 580 cals

And I will have an apple for bedtime snack.= 70 cals

*sigh*

I won't bore you with excuses.

Hubby is gone to Texas to visit his dad (I already miss him) and will not be back until Saturday night. Previously, when he would be out of town on business or something, I would declare it a feast day :-D Because I could eat and eat and eat and not worry about getting "caught". It is a hard habit to break. I will plan tomorrow out and do better.

We finished off the ice cream tonight and I will NOT buy another carton during the next 2 weeks. If I need/want ice cream, it will be at a McD's drive through.

I am trying to get the house in tip top clean shape while hubby is gone so he will be suprised when he gets home.

Thank you for reading!

P.S. He has the camera with him, so I had to use photobucket pics.

Week 16, wednesday *I'm pooped*

What an exhausting day! I won't bore you with the details but I obviously lacked wisdom and time management skills today and it left me sooooooooooo pooped. Nevertheless, here's what I ate today:

2 pkgs pb crackers

3 fiber one bars

2 manwich sandwiches

8 oz. apple juice

12 oz gatorade

1/4 of a cookie (free sample in grocery store)

5 (five?!yikes) pieces of pizza hut mia cheese pizza

___________hum_________

Exercise was running myself ragged with more to do today than could humanly be accomplished, lung exercises were yelling at my kids because we were all being grouches today (not something I am proud of), and yoga was the 5 minutes that I crashed right in the middle of the living room floor between the grocery store time and church time because I had just about reached my limit.

I have wisdom. For some stupid reason, I ignored it today. But I learned a lesson and I highly doubt that I will have a repeat day like today for a long time.

Right now (11:49 p.m.) I am making hubby's lunch and washing his clothes to pack for him.( NO! we aren't seperating, silly!) He is going to the Dallas area for a long past due visit with his dad.

Thanks for reading! Here's a video I think you'll love. If you are wore out, you HAVE to watch it! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXYGOoc0RxQ