frustrated and full of water

After a week of staying within calorie range, I went to TOPS,expecting at least a pound loss and had a FOUR POUND GAIN. Surely it is water. I did NOT deserve that gain. I ran out of my blood pressure meds...perhaps that has something to do with it (I get a refill today). *sigh* frustrated!

The one thing I was not.

I was a lot of things today: busy, rushed, frustrated, happy, nervous, sweaty, thirsty, just to name a few.

But the one thing I was NOT is lazy! Oh my goodness, what a day! Busy, busy, run, run. I won't bore you with details...but it was hectic! Glad I got through it. And yes, I did have the Bible study and it all went well and I am feeling a LOT better...just a little snotty nosed now.

Katie, good suggestion about the iron level, but I have been tested and I'm not anemic. I was just tired from being sick. Yeah, I had my blood drawn once (well, about a year ago) and they said the only things off in my blood were that I had too much (I know, crazy....they told me I should donate more often) and that my protein levels were too low.

Shelley, I'm sorry someone was ugly to you. :( Shame on them. I hope you are having a better day.

I am exxxxxxxxxxxxxxxhausted! (but I'm still going to check facebook messages, because I am addicted, yeah)

I KNOW I need to start posting pics on here again. That's on my list under the heading of "soon"!

Oh................by the way!................*smiley face*...........I lost 3 pounds this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I weighed 304.75 yay me!

coasting and ignoring

I lost a measley fourth of a pound this week. I weighed 307.75. I feel like I am coasting. I need to stop coasting and put forth more effort.

Saturday is TOPS fun day, about an hour away. I am looking forward to it.

My throat is sore :(

I am in the midst of a HUGE bake sale fund raiser for school. I need to tape my mouth shut while I cook. yikes!

It's 1:20 p.m.... good morning!

I'm kind of quirky, I guess.

I just started my day off on the wrong foot. Just..yuck! And so at 12:40, I had accomplished pretty much nothing and felt like poo.

So, I napped. Kind of.

Lay in bed with my eyes closed and drifted in and out of conscienciousness (sp?) and spent about 20 minutes in that place that is between awake and asleep.

As I lay, I pray in my head. kind of.

Like I said, weird day.

I thought positive thoughts and told myself that I was going to restart my day when I woke.

Then the phone rang.

I answered the phone and then started my day as if it were 8 a.m. Brushed my teeth and brushed my hair and started on my flylady list.

So, now I am here for my "morning computer time". And feeling much better :)

I hope you are having a great day and if you aren't, I give you permission to lie down for a bit and start over. ;)

Anonomous comment from 2 days ago

Dear Anonymous,
I know. I *think* I AM being serious and then I fall on my face. At least I continue to get back up. I realize I am yo-yoing and I am not proud of it.
sincerely,
that TOPS lady

well, that was dumb

Went to the store and bought ice cream and brownie mix. Threw my self control out the window and fixed myself a 900+ calorie peanut butter and fudge sundae.

I am now very hungry for green beans. LOL I will have some with supper.

That gave me a very short lived sugar high and now I am in a sugar low, I'm guessing, by the way I feel.

Anyway..............just being honest.

However, I am still not over calorie limit, so the day is not lost.

sugar and water (but not together)

My 40 days of "nothing with sugar as the first ingredient" fast is over as of today! yay!

Guess what I found out? Lots of sugar loaded stuff DOESN'T have sugar as a first ingredient. Such as ice cream. yes, I was able to eat ice cream. And I blame the 3 pounds I gained during the fast partially on ice cream. (that, and we ate a lot of fast food while working the fireworks stand)

I can only think of 4 things that were forbidden (sugar listed as first ingredient) that I've wanted in the past 40 days:

1. candy bars (couldn't find a single one without sugar listed first)
2. little debbies (sugar sugar sugar)
3. brownies (no wonder they taste so good)
4. cookies (yep..I stood in the aisle at the store and checked about 20 packages. sugar is first)

so.............tonight.........before I go to bed........I plan to have one of the above things. *big smile*

but I only need to buy ONE. I know how I am.

Now.......on to the water aspect of this post.

I have quit drinking it. Not good.

The less you drink it, the less you want it.

Sean has started a 3 week challenge beginning Monday. Drink 64 ounces per day. I think it is the push I need.

Ok.................still not much in the blogging mood.......need to get around and go to the library.......but it's raining, so I'm not very motivated. Plus I will have to put air in my tire.

ta ta for now :)

Not in the mood.

I know I haven't been here.

I *have* been super busy (we ran a fireworks stand for our church) but I have also been bored with blogging.

Have you ever been there? The new just wore off?

So....I'll blog a bit here and there when it hits me.

In the meantime, I'm staying busy trying to enjoy my summer which is quickly flying by!

Have a great summer!

Hey, Sugar ;) (Look! I'm still alive!)

Did you think I had died? We have NOT had the lazy days of summer around here. Busy busy busy. VBS, camp, and now selling fireworks for the church. Always something! But I am alive and kicking!

Our co-leader at TOPS passed away rather unexpectly 2-3 weeks after finding out that she had cancer.

I am still yo-yoing the same 5 pounds or so. 303-308. I was 308 yesterday. I was 308 in July 2009. So I pretty much wasted a year. I feel like I have tried hard. But I have done nothing. And as I write this,I am wanting something good to eat :)

I have done good on my fast of "anything that has sugar as the first ingredient". I have found that a lot of things do not have sugar as the first ingredient but still can be full of sugar. But there have been a few things I had to walk away from because sugar was the first ingredient. Brownies. Frosting.

Yesterday's TOPS program was about how much sugar we eat. We took the average person's food journal and then put actual table sugar in a jar to represent how much sugar they consumed. It was 2 cups! So I think I will do that this week----put the sugar in the jar at the end of the day so I can SEE how much addictive,unhealthy sugar I am putting in my body.

Well, there you have it. I hope to update more regularly. :) Thanks for missing me!

Running

Well, not *literally* running, but staying OH so busy! yikes!

Yesterday I got my ss room done (yay!), which took hours and hours. I also signed the kids up for the summer reading program at the library, took them to storytime and got tables from the church to use for the yard sale.

Today I will take the kids to another library activity, swing by my sister's to get her yard sale stuff, prepare ALL of my yard sale stuff (I haven't even started) and the newspaper says I will be having a bake sale and selling nachos from 5-8 tonight so I will do that (and yes, I still have to bake the stuff). So...plenty to do around here!

Sorry I haven't been able to read many blogs during this busyness. Things should slow down on Monday.

On the bright side, I apparently have been too busy to overeat. The above pic shows me weighing under 301 on the wii last night. (The other pics are my ss room). In February, I got down to 300.75 for just a few days...other than that, this is the lowest I have been in three and a half years! I should say, I hadn't eaten in hours when the pic was taken, so it may not be accurate, but it thrilled me nevertheless.

Have a great day!

busy, busy,busy but good.

This sign in the grocery store made me laugh. They left out the decimal, making the original price of the cantaloupe 2 for five *hundred* dollars instead of 2 for five dollars. Since they are marked down to 99 cents now, that's a savings of $249.01!!! Quite a bargain! *wink, wink!* (Also, it is supposed to read "DUE to the quality" not "DO to the quality". I mean, we all have our days (me included!) when we do silly things like that...but the sad part about it is that apparently NO ONE who works at the store realized the error. Or maybe they did and they just felt bad about correcting the person who made it. Who knows. Whatever. Made me laugh. :)

Sorry I haven't posted lately. Things are busy! This weekend I am having a yard sale, bake sale,and selling nachos. It is time to completely remodel my Sunday school room and it has to be done by Sunday morning. Also, my son leaves Monday for camp so there's prep for that. aaacccckkkk! busy! :) But I am handling it well.

Yesterday we went to town and bought ALL of the things son will need for camp and all the groceries we will need for the next two weeks. I didn't get home until after 11 p.m.! But that is DONE and I can mark that off my list.

I also went to my TOPS meeting and had my third week of losses in a row :) I lost 1.75 pounds, weighing in at 305.5, so I was pleased with that. God has really blessed me. I really haven't been having trouble with the no sweets thing. It is just settled in my mind. I KNOW I'm not going to have them, so it's not even something to contemplate. For me, it's totally different when I make a vow to God and when I make one to myself. I break promises to myself often. But not to God! If I speak it in a vow to Him, then that's just the way it's going to be. Anyway............this long paragraph is just to say that I'm doing well with that. And my calories have been several hundred under the limit. yay!

My dear sister took me out for a diet cherry coke last night and I enjoyed that.

I've gotta get busy again! Thanks for reading!

40 days

Last weekend, during church, I was just overwhelmed with the feeling that God was speaking to me that THIS is my year of Jubilee....and that great things are going to happen THIS year....and I was going to overcome the things that have weighed me down. Including my weight. You may remember me telling about dancing at church because I was so overcome with joy! Well, things have been awesome since then. My anxiety issue is gone. I told the pastor's wife that I am willing to sing when she needs me to now. (I had previously quit because of the anxiety issue). I've been happy. I don't know the background of my readers, you may not understand what I am about to say. But I feel like I did when I recieved the Holy Ghost for the first time.

So, I want to DO something to tell God "Yes, I believe You will do what You impressed upon my heart." I had something in mind, but I didn't want to leap without looking. Then Loretta's comment confirmed what I was thinking about. I didn't feel right just taking the promise and doing nothing. I wanted an act to SHOW my belief and to say thank you.

There's something about 40 days that is special to God. I don't understand why but all throughout the Bible we read about things that happened 40 days at a time.

And I wanted to offer God something that means a lot to me, something of value to me. So....I offer sweets. Yep, for the next 40 days, I am fasting from things that have sugar as the first ingredient. (unless I accidently eat something that I don't realize has sugar as a first ingredient). I vowed. I will. Because I am thankful and because I KNOW that if I jump off this cliff, He will catch me. :)

Bubble Belly

I am finally off all meds and awake! yay! Thanks for missing me!

Tuesday is payday. Until then, I am B-R-O-K-E. *sigh*

I started to use this as an excuse to eat whatever I want, with the mentality of "well, that's all there is, there's no healthy food in the house". (In all actuality, that's a lie. We have apples, soup and kashi bars--healthy foods that I can think of just off the top of my head)

And so, for breakfast I FRIED myself one and a half grilled cheeses and also had TWO pieces of FRIED buttery toast with jelly. Not wise and not healthy.

Then I took my shower and got dressed. My jean skirt barely fit. Perhaps because it just came out of the dryer (ya know how clothes stretch after you've worn them a few hours) or.........maybe because I ate whatever I wanted this week and made flimsy excuses to do so. I haven't weighed, so I don't know where I stand on that.

so.............here is a picture of the bubble belly I saw when I put on the jean skirt. I HATE that! I will NOT have that! And so I decided to get out my journal, write down the junk I had for breakfast and continue my day with HEALTHY choices.

Thank you God for letting me see this bubble belly to remind me that I am to take better care of myself.

Btw, I am not down. As a matter of fact, I am UP! I still believe GOD is going to do GREAT things THIS year in MY life! I need to quit hindering Him! He will work, but who will let Him?

Here's a question..........in the Bible, what did people do to: A) Tell God thank you B) tell God I believe in your promise

I need to dig around on that..but I was just curious if you had an opinion. I really do feel like God promised me some things last weekend and I want to do something to show him "Thank you and I believe You."

Gotta get busy.............have a great day!

still sleeping.

Yesterday I was supposed to take meds every 4 hours. And I did. And I slept.

Today I am supposed to have them every 6-8 hours. And I will. And I will sleep.
Today is my son's actual birthday even though we celebrated it last week. He and dd will get to "camp" in the living room again, staying up as late as they want and I said I would rent him a movie. Somehow I need to drive the 8 miles to the video store. I'm kind of scared to, as loopy as I still feel. I know I need to have someone else drive, but I hate asking anyone, especially because at the moment I am BROKE and couldn't even buy their gas. So, we will see how that all goes.

Tomorrow, I can quit taking meds if I feel like it. We will see.

I obviously don't take meds much--my body is very sensitive to it---I'm so out of it. But feeling fine :D LOL Just snoozing.

Thanks for reading.............I will return.........after I wake up....eventually LOL

goodbye wisdom tooth

In 7 minutes I have to wake the kids and within 27 minutes I need to be out the door to say goodbye to my wisdom tooth. I AM NERVOUS. I am trying to concentrate on the fact that I get to come back home to an empty house and spend the day in bed without guilt. I'm trying to NOT focus on the actual pulling. Remember me today!

I'm on Jack's blog today! :)

I made the cut! You can see my pic, along with a lot of other's at JackSh*t's blog:

http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2010/05/width-open-arms.html

Just checking in

I'm up and at 'em early this morning, just expecting this to be a great day. Yesterday was the first day of summer break. I slept late and enjoyed it.

I stayed within calorie range and did 18 minutes of exercise on the wii.

It feels good to feel good.

I hope you all have a great day!

Do YOU have church like this?

That's a V for VICTORY! Wow what an awesome revival we had this weekend. I danced at church (say, what? did you just say DANCED at CHURCH? do those two words go together?)....oh yes......I danced at church........I got the victory.......it had been a long time since I let it all go like that(probably at least 5 years). And I laughed. And I danced. And I made this loud noise..........not exactly a yell, more like a very long "whoo hoo" LOL. Anyway, I came unglued and a few others did and the rest just watched :) It was awesome. I believe this is going to be MY year. I believe GREAT things are going to happen THIS year. I believe this is my year of Jubuilee. :) :) :)

There is great pleasure in accomplishing what others think you won't accomplish. :)

I'm writing this post on Friday at 10:43 p.m. but I plan to save it and post it tomorrow with a pic. (because posts without pics are just plain boring)

I'm eating and enjoying cake and ice cream....without guilt. I told myself that I would have 2 servings of cake and ice cream today and I did. I allowed it. No guilt.

I'm feeling inspired.

I'm ready to get it going on. I'm going to walk tomorrow. Turn up the music on my mp3 player and walk and enjoy it. I'm considering doing a 100 mile challenge. Our award period for TOPS is April, May, June and we will get awards for walking over X amount of miles during that time. Wouldn't it be awesome for them to announce my name and that I walked 100 miles? I *can* do it.

I saw my favorite cd at walmart tonight for just $7!!! But, I really am broke, so I didn't buy it. However, there are 10 days until payday, and I'm thinking of telling myself "if you can go all 10 days without going over your calorie limit or changing your meal plans, then you can buy it on payday WITHOUT GUILT because you will have earned it"

My hubby....... (I'm shaking my head in disbelief at this)......my hubby is losing a lot of weight. About 6 weeks ago, he weighed 239. Tonight he weighed 217. He has really challenged HIMSELF and is really getting healthy.

Personally, I think he enjoys beating ME :) His lunch now consists of tuna, cheese, strawberries, grapes, and an orange. He doesn't eat breakfast. He eats a salad after he gets home from work and then later in the evening he eats a small serving of whatever I cook.

And exercise.......wow.......the dude is CONSTANTLY on the wii fit or the wii biggest loser game. When I went to bed last night, he was jogging on the wii and when I woke up (briefly) around 6 a.m., he was jogging again.

He has already gone down one size in his jeans.

Well...............I'm not going to tell him.........but.... I'm about to give him a run for his money!!!!!!!!! There is great pleasure in accomplishing what others think you won't accomplish.

Here I go!!!!!!!!!! (come on....let's do it!)

Have a healthy weekend!!!!

:) Amy aka that TOPS lady

P.S. For some reason, blogger (or my computer) isn't letting my comment right now. And I wanted to comment to the lady at "The rest of the journey" that I hope she has a very refreshing weekend and that God helps her heal. So, maybe she will read this and know I am thinking about her.

We are celebrating my son's birthday today even though he isn't actually 11 until Thursday.
I will run him all over town to spend his birthday money. (in a van with no air) He will want to go to the museum. We will go to my parent's to get his gift from them.
We will run, run, run, stay busy, busy, busy, then after his dad gets home he will unwrap his gifts (I hope fed ex delivers them today, or he is gonna get them LATE!), eat cake and go to prayer meeting.
It is also the last day of school (they only lack 2 tests, so maybe 25 mins of work) and I told dd we would eat watermelon on the last day.
The day will end with the kids "camping out" in the living room and watching movies until who knows when....because....that's how we roll on special occasions :)

Anyway..........................I hope the day is a lot more relaxed than it sounds and I hope to make healthy choices in the midst of it.

Yesterday I didn't eat too wisely. It all started with my mom giving us a box of twinkies when we were busy running errands at town. I should have packed healthy snacks.

I've already made a plan about the cake. Cut it in 12 slices. Give 2 to my parents, leaves 10. 3 for the kids (to be eaten of the course of a couple of days hopefully!) 2 each for hubby and I. And ice cream. I know I'm gonna eat both pieces of cake and 2 servings of ice cream. Because I know me. (hey...YOU know me too...and YOU know I'm gonna eat that!) So, I may as well plan for it. Which means super healthy and low cal for the meals. Wish me luck! (pray)