Bananas are necessary and brownies are evil.

Today was a fail. I choose to laugh and say "That was so stupid!" and get back on track IMMEDIETLY. It's not about failing. It's about wallowing in your failure and consuming untold more calories in the name of failure before you begin again. No.

I normally eat the same thing for breakfast every single morning. Organic cereal with milk, walnuts and a banana. Lo and behold, this morning we were out of bananas! Running to the store was more trouble than I wanted to do because my daughter doesn't want me to go without her and I didn't want to deal with the 20 minutes it takes for her to get ready. And I remembered that I had leftover chicken enchiladas in the fridge! That was me not starting the day on the right foot.

Then, for whatever reason, I told myself that it was ok for me to not count calories today (lie) and that we were going to have family movie night (good) and eat french fries and battered chicken strips! (not good)

THEN someone gave me brownie mix---------------------that was about 4 months old. And what did I do? I made them and ate it, joking about it the whole while.

Well, guess what. It isn't funny. It is stupid.

We lie to ourselves and say that a day "off the plan" will be fun and fulfilling. So, we give it to ourselves. And then we feel anything but fulfilled.

I bought me a banana for tomorrow. I want to be fulfilled. :)

The countdown begins: 9

As of this morning, I lack NINE more pounds to have lost all of my 14 pound regain (that I hate with a purple passion). I think this is worthy of a countdown. Hey--anything to hype me up and keep me faithful! :)

One thing that I loved during my September 2011- September 2012 really losing weight year was the many comments I would get from people. Do you know what happens when you quit losing or regain? People quit commenting. Because really, what can they say? "Hey...I was just noticing that you look a little fatter than you did last month. You aren't losing now, are you?" uh. no. So people just don't say anything. Today, my mom said "Amy, you sure are looking skinny" and it just totally made my day. It was my first comment in a long while. It confirmed to my inner man that the healthy me is back. I'm back on the ball again. woot!

~Amy aka thatTOPSlady

P.S. In reference to the "Amy, you look skinny" comment, "skinny" is relative. I'm a size 22. I'm no Shania Twain. However, compared to the 331 pound me who wore a size 32, I AM skinny. I'm loving it. (forgive me if that makes you think of McDonald's) :)

If we DID what we know to do.

Do you ever wonder what you could accomplish if you gave it 100%? If you actually DID the things you know you should do? It is much easier said than done! But I do wonder.

I was 260.4 this morning. Still 10.4 above my lowest weight of 250. I want to be there again. Now. :) So, why do I delay myself by skipping workouts, giving myself permission to go over calories, etc? Why do I delay the things I want so much?

That has been my thought this week and so far (3 days into the week--ha!) I have had a week of no skipping workouts and no going over my calories. A week of actually DOING what I know to do. I think this will work.

I have a cute new blouse (that's a big snug at present) hanging in my kitchen and it will be my reward for returning to my lowest.

Let's do this! :)

Unpopular

I admit I haven't been faithful with blogging and when I do blog, I usually don't take the time to upload pics. And that makes for boring blog reading. I don't read boring blogs and I don't expect anyone else too.

So, according to my stats, this blog is not very popular.

That's ok. Because I didn't start it in an effort to become popular. I started it as a tool to help me lose weight. And that's what it will continue to be.

I have to admit though, that a thought from my childhood came rushing back when I checked my stats: The fat girls are always unpopular.

Blogger, I hate to tell you, but I'm not going to be a fat girl for long. And when I'm popular, and have influence, I'm going to use that power in a good way. For God's glory...and to help people.

Just saying. :)

10 minutes of writing

Alas! I am going to sit here for 10 minutes and just write and see what ends up on the paper and publish it! Life has been busy and when I finally find enough quiet, non hectic time to right, I'm exhaused and just want to sleep and so that's what I do. So here I am, hoping I can have 10 quiet minutes before the kids wake. Ah....I just got a text. I will ignore it until my time is up :)
Today I weighed 260.2. I just want to throw that out there. Yes, that's higher than the 250 I reached last September. No, I didn't reach my goal of being back down to 250 before 2012 ended. (I had gained back up to 264 when I was first adjusting, very poorly, to the fact that my dad is terminal). But all of that is so last year. This is 2013. I wiped the slate clean. And so far this year, I'm doing great. I need to lose 6.25 pounds per month in order to reach goal by the end of the year. That is so DO-able! :)

I'm tempted to write a long page here about non weight related stuff but I really want this blog to focus on my weight loss so I will just limit it to one sentence today: I've been busy with dad's illness, moving them to a better house, taking care of paperwork and phone calls, etc until it feels like a full time job and my brain can't possibly hold one more piece of information and on top of all of that, my daughter restarted physical therapy once per week because scoliosis was confirmed, my son is a typial teenager who despises all of the errands we have to run so I leave him home alone sometimes for some of it then I feel like I'm neglecting him, and hubby has been great but I get overwhelmed sometimes and forget about things that he needs------like supper. ha! THAT was a very long sentence!

I've been reading your blogs even when I haven't been commenting. My internet connection is weak so getting a comment to go through can be a headache but I can get your blog to pull up and it will stay up for me to read even if I lose the connection. Jessica @See How She Runs.....I'm so glad to see you blogging again. You sound like your old self! I love your new shoes! I know you are going to rock some 5K's this year! To the Maryland TOPS queen @ Fixing Myself Thinner....you have a lot going on....be nice to you. Sometimes you seem so hard on yourself! And did you ever get the other blog (surgery pics) done? If so, would you allow me to see? I'm really wondering how my skin is going to be when I get this weight off. And finally, Sean @Daily Diary of a Winning Loser....push hard! and thanks for being real!

I read others of you too but I'm out of time now!
Take care and be healthy!
~Amy aka that TOPS lady

P.S. My sister won a 6 month gym membership. I was happy for her and jealous for me! :)